New poster.
Please try to get your parents out of your head. If your mom is dying it doesn't matter what your dad is doing or not doing. They have lived their lives essentially. One less worry for you!

I’m really sorry about your Mom, that she is dying—brings a lot of grief beforehand as well as after. Please while you are waiting for an appointment take 15 min a day to sit with yourself, breathe, cry, have a cup of tea. No phones, just sit with this—It’s really hard and I wish you all the best.

Anonymous wrote:Get an appointment with a psychiatrist to adjust your meds. If you have to wait, at least it's made. In the meantime, get a two hour massage. Buy a night guard. Cry and let yourself feel however you feel. Take time off if you can and just rest. You will get through it but get help. Talk therapy can help.

You shouldn’t have to wait more than a few days for a med adjustment appt, if OP describes the state she is in. OP, upping the AD is one possibility, or adding on an anti anxiety med short term.

OP, when you say hands are shaking and heart is pounding, there could also be something physical going on - if you have a pcp and can get in for a sick visit in a few days, ask for a basic blood panel, thyroid lab work, blood pressure and cardiac review. The advent of telehealth means you should be able to get an appointment with someone within a few days. Even a PCP these days may prescribe an antidepressant in high stress situations. Try to recognize that your

Don’t rule out therapy - it will be helpful over time and it’s not as complicated as you make it out to be. Use your healthcare portal’s find a doctor function and look for someone in network.

Ask kids to get at least part-time jobs to help out, especially in case of worst case scenario. If they’re in college, they’re old enough to know that work can be bumpy and by sharing you are modeling for them to do the same. Everyone in the family boat who’s old enough to row should do so.

Ask hubs to investigate what other gig work he can pick up, even if it’s just door dash or smthg. If he’s not working, ask him to find and make medical appointments for you.

Do you have siblings you can share with or others in DH’s family who he can share with and who might provide some support?

Try to do your best at work, but also increase your networking now (both inside your company and outside), refresh your resume, etc. before you get fired. Collect any work documentation that would be good for future jobs.

Remember, if you are let go, you probably have access to unemployment insurance and can purchase healthcare at a reduced rate on the ACA marketplace or even qualify for Medicaid (regardless of assets) if you have no income. If hubs is less employed than you, have him do the leg work on researching these benefits and making a budget of what to cut, and researching whether, if you are fired, you can go back to the college and ask for additional aid or loans.

You can get through this!

Inova has a psychiatric urgent care: https://www.inova.org/locations/inova-psychiatric-assessment-center-ipac

Anonymous wrote:She can't go to the ER bc she has to work. She'll clearly be committed and then her work will easily let her go if they are already downsizing.

She will not necessarily be committed. But if they do, so what? You wouldn't tell her not to go if she had any other health crisis.

Get your DH to do the research and make doctors appointments for you. Seriously. Drop the rope on everything except work and your parents.

Are you employed? See if your employer has an employee assistance program. These will usually connect you with a therapist in this acute phase. You can transition to someone more permanent after the initial crisis.

She can't go to the ER bc she has to work. She'll clearly be committed and then her work will easily let her go if they are already downsizing.

OP what antidepressant are you on?

Some psychiatric med long term use, as well as some mental health disorders, are associated with low magnesium levels.
The jaw clenching and heart stuff sound like possible low magnesium.
Look into magnesium glycinate and bisglycinate. L-theanine might also help.

How are you doing, OP?

Get an appointment with a psychiatrist to adjust your meds. If you have to wait, at least it's made. In the meantime, get a two hour massage. Buy a night guard. Cry and let yourself feel however you feel. Take time off if you can and just rest. You will get through it but get help. Talk therapy can help.

You are likely stuck or spending too much time in a sympathetic nervous system state - so front line management is to shift you out of that state-

Massage with true body worker that can shift you
Chiropractor
Acupuncture
Deep breathing with music etc
All will help, anything to regulate you. These things you can do or look into today.

Then also look into therapy. If you have a history of trauma I suggest really looking into someone who specializes in that possibly with background in somatic therapy since your body is affected.

If not and you have a sturdy emotional inner scape and an emotionally healthy and supportive childhood than a basic CBT generalist might do.

Address your body first and now. The rest take the time you need.

Don't give up before you even start on finding a psychiatrist! I went looking last night based on a similar concern (Lexapro sort of helping one issue but not helping another and feeling increasingly worse) and was able to book an appointment for Tuesday. If I hadn't been slightly picky about NP vs. MD, I could have gotten in tomorrow.

I don't know if it'll be a long term match but it's a place to start with someone with prescribing powers and just the thought of being able to address this within the next few days and that it might start to get better after that is keeping me going.

Please reach out, there are a ton of places that do medication management and telehealth appointments. Also try to get in with your PCP, racing heart and shaking could be thyroid or something else too.

Sorry to hear about your current state of affairs - - especially your Mother dying. 😨

OP, perhaps you need an add-on antidepressant to your current medication cocktail.

Anonymous wrote:In addition to therapy and upping or changing your anti depressant through your PCP

Try to get some exercise, ideally outside. start with walking. Look up couch to 5k plans. Running has been the best thing for my anxiety. Anything that gets your heart rate up is a good start.

Also listen to audio books or podcasts (not ones about the news) as much as possible to stop your rumination. Or music if I'm working. It works better for me than mindfulness or trying to talk myself out of catastrophizing. Libby is a free app with a ton of audiobooks, and you just need a library card.

Hang in there!

Your advice is sound. However, when you're in a state that OP is in it's not helpful. She needs medical care ASAP. The rest of what you're telling her is important and good and can come later. To tell someone whose heart is already racing from crippling anxiety to take up running is like telling them to climb Mt. Everest.