Hard assets

My friend got all the he’d assts and liquid assets once it was uncovered that he had been moving things to crypto. She also has claim to a large percentage of that once sold and filed with IRS. Now multiple agencies have him flagged too in case he tries to tax evade.

Op, if it is a few thousand $s then it is not worth it. Legal costs will eat up a lot more than that + stress. Cut your losses and walk away now and focus on healing and growth.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alimony if any and CS will be based on his gross income not net income after deductions so don’t even worry about it.

What I do t know is if he is routing some of his bonuses to a separate account..

Watch out for deferred comp BS if he’s in a partnership.

Basically you and an accountant are going to have to request and obtain his comp going forward. Especially since you supported him financially, emotionally, logistically, and held down the home and kid front while he was in his Sweat equity stage.

If his employer doesn’t have an HR policy that allows such disclosure, Op would need a court order

Absolutely. Forensics accountants for divorce cases get those all the time when dealing with a bad agent, high conflict counterparty.

I needed a forensic accountant in my divorce. It was expensive, over $30k, but over a decade ago. But my settlement increased by 7 figures. He made no voluntary disclosures, maintained an S Corp, and paid himself a minimal salary, so we had no choice. I went to my lawyers with a lot of good facts to get things started, like 5+ years of bank statements, tax returns (including S Corp returns), and any other bank statements I could find. I made the forensic accountant's job easy. I also had a dissipation of funds argument because he "gifted" his parents 6 figures the year prior to our divorce (basically to shelter from the divorce) .

This.

Can go after crypto and offshore accounts too. Shine a light on that all. Judge will see the bad behavior quite clearly.

It doesn't matter where the money is sitting. All that matters is that he discloses it at the appropriate time and agrees to split it.

What does matter is whether he's spending it on things that don't result in an asset that can be split.

It's smart of a spouse with a high income married to someone who does not work to have the family live on less than the income allows. This minimizes how much money they'll spend on alimony since the concept behind alimony is that the non working spouse "should" get to keep living at the same level to which they're accustomed.

Personally, as a woman who earns a lot, I find it pretty appalling that this is the rule. It's one thing to not leave someone destitute, but just because my income allowed you to live the high life while we were together even though you could never have afforded that lifestyle before you met me, I shouldn't be responsible for keeping you in a posh lifestyle after we go our separate ways. You're not a child. Use your half of the assets to prop up your lifestyle if that's so important to you. Or better yet, get a job and support yourself like the healthy adult that you are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alimony if any and CS will be based on his gross income not net income after deductions so don’t even worry about it.

What I do t know is if he is routing some of his bonuses to a separate account..

Watch out for deferred comp BS if he’s in a partnership.

Basically you and an accountant are going to have to request and obtain his comp going forward. Especially since you supported him financially, emotionally, logistically, and held down the home and kid front while he was in his Sweat equity stage.

If his employer doesn’t have an HR policy that allows such disclosure, Op would need a court order

Absolutely. Forensics accountants for divorce cases get those all the time when dealing with a bad agent, high conflict counterparty.

I needed a forensic accountant in my divorce. It was expensive, over $30k, but over a decade ago. But my settlement increased by 7 figures. He made no voluntary disclosures, maintained an S Corp, and paid himself a minimal salary, so we had no choice. I went to my lawyers with a lot of good facts to get things started, like 5+ years of bank statements, tax returns (including S Corp returns), and any other bank statements I could find. I made the forensic accountant's job easy. I also had a dissipation of funds argument because he "gifted" his parents 6 figures the year prior to our divorce (basically to shelter from the divorce) .

THIS is the scenario to fight. Not just because he was taking his AP out to dinner.

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Just try to sign settlement asap the size of transactions and costs of discovery may be not worth it pursuing legally. My exH bought jewelry for AP and discovery would be over $20k well above that

I’m the PP and discovery can be worthwhile if you have a house to divide, a huge income difference, or big differences in 401ks or individual named accounts. Disclosure is usually done voluntarily first, and if he won’t cooperate this is something that can be leveraged in mediation or a trial if you have to go to trial.

Don’t just settle in a panic or because you’re afraid.

NP and I have so many questions about this. STBX has been living large since separation, but not extraordinarily large compared to our incomes. We have a house to divide and fairly big differences in 401Ks so it probably matters, but at what point do I look like a petty brat pointing out his behavior? My divorce is on different grounds than adultery, but it is fault in a state where fault matters.

Plus the legal bills, oh the bills. But I think it's for a good reason. I hope.

Do you have access to 401k? Is he emptying it ? Usually not, and if he’s just spending his own salary - he is in full right.
House and pension split is very straightforward no point to initiate discovery. You’ll spend more in legal fees paying lawyers $700/hr.
It only makes sense if the spouse has trusts, hidden accounts, very high net worth

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Alimony if any and CS will be based on his gross income not net income after deductions so don’t even worry about it.

What I do t know is if he is routing some of his bonuses to a separate account..

Watch out for deferred comp BS if he’s in a partnership.

Basically you and an accountant are going to have to request and obtain his comp going forward. Especially since you supported him financially, emotionally, logistically, and held down the home and kid front while he was in his Sweat equity stage.

If his employer doesn’t have an HR policy that allows such disclosure, Op would need a court order

Absolutely. Forensics accountants for divorce cases get those all the time when dealing with a bad agent, high conflict counterparty.

I needed a forensic accountant in my divorce. It was expensive, over $30k, but over a decade ago. But my settlement increased by 7 figures. He made no voluntary disclosures, maintained an S Corp, and paid himself a minimal salary, so we had no choice. I went to my lawyers with a lot of good facts to get things started, like 5+ years of bank statements, tax returns (including S Corp returns), and any other bank statements I could find. I made the forensic accountant's job easy. I also had a dissipation of funds argument because he "gifted" his parents 6 figures the year prior to our divorce (basically to shelter from the divorce) .

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Just try to sign settlement asap the size of transactions and costs of discovery may be not worth it pursuing legally. My exH bought jewelry for AP and discovery would be over $20k well above that

I’m the PP and discovery can be worthwhile if you have a house to divide, a huge income difference, or big differences in 401ks or individual named accounts. Disclosure is usually done voluntarily first, and if he won’t cooperate this is something that can be leveraged in mediation or a trial if you have to go to trial.

Don’t just settle in a panic or because you’re afraid.

NP and I have so many questions about this. STBX has been living large since separation, but not extraordinarily large compared to our incomes. We have a house to divide and fairly big differences in 401Ks so it probably matters, but at what point do I look like a petty brat pointing out his behavior? My divorce is on different grounds than adultery, but it is fault in a state where fault matters.

Plus the legal bills, oh the bills. But I think it's for a good reason. I hope.