Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did you RSVP for the reception? If you did, then you need to go. But if you didn't, the important part is the actually wedding ceremony. Brides want people in seats.

They want people they know and care about

Sounds like OP's connection to the bride is through her husband. He is probably who the bride would care if he did or didn't attend the ceremony

No, brides don't want a half-empty venue. She sent out invitations. She wants as many people there as possible.

Anonymous wrote:Your tween will be fine. Go to the wedding and the reception. Order your kid a pizza and a movie. Check in via phone regularly and leave the reception on the early side. It's very rude to RSVP yes and then not show up to both events. People base their food and drink orders for the reception on head count and it's usually very expensive. I would be pretty pissed if someone RSVPed yes and then didn't show because they didn't want to leave their tween at home alone.

Agree with all of this. DD is fine alone it is just not her preference? Too bad I guess, you have a commitment. I'd do whatever possible to make it more enjoyable (favorite takeout, trying to find another friend, Netflix etc) but I would not be no showing at an important event because DD would rather I also sit on the couch and watch a movie.

If your child is anxious, this seems like a perfect step for them to face their anxiety. If you give in and stay with them, you are reinforcing that they are not capable. You aren’t serving them well by not forcing them to spread their wings a bit.

Anonymous wrote:Did you RSVP for the reception? If you did, then you need to go. But if you didn't, the important part is the actually wedding ceremony. Brides want people in seats.

They want people they know and care about

Sounds like OP's connection to the bride is through her husband. He is probably who the bride would care if he did or didn't attend the ceremony

Go to the wedding, go to the reception. You don't have to stay until 10. Your kid can handle 4-5 hours, surely?

Your tween will be fine. Go to the wedding and the reception. Order your kid a pizza and a movie. Check in via phone regularly and leave the reception on the early side. It's very rude to RSVP yes and then not show up to both events. People base their food and drink orders for the reception on head count and it's usually very expensive. I would be pretty pissed if someone RSVPed yes and then didn't show because they didn't want to leave their tween at home alone.

Skipping the wedding but attending the reception is rude.

This is ridiculous. Order your kid a pizza and go to the wedding and reception.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Attend the wedding, skip the reception

+1. The wedding ceremony is the important part.

For the couple getting married.

By the way, the reason to still go to the reception is because you RSVP'd and they ordered food for you. If you knew your plans would fall apart if your tween got fussy, you should have RSVP'd wedding for 2, dinner for DH.

If you didn't RSVP for a plated meal, I think it's less of a concern. You can say hello and congrats at the receiving line and even skip the reception.

When you don't go to the reception, you are privileging your child's fun over your fun and the fun of those who want to see you there (DH, newlyweds, family). If your kid is okay with being alone but just doesn't want to, that doesn't sound like a great reason.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Skip the wedding and spend as little time as possible at reception. Put your child first.

This is lunacy. A tween can be away from her mom for 2-3 hours.

Agree

Did you RSVP for the reception? If you did, then you need to go. But if you didn't, the important part is the actually wedding ceremony. Brides want people in seats.

Anonymous wrote:I mean, it doesn't sound like you want to go to the wedding and you're using your tween as an excuse to not go.

Or at least I hope that's it and you're not really this crazy about being away from her for a couple of hours.

+1

I mean, it doesn't sound like you want to go to the wedding and you're using your tween as an excuse to not go.

Or at least I hope that's it and you're not really this crazy about being away from her for a couple of hours.

Anonymous wrote:Are you sure the tween is not allowed at the ceremony? If that is just at a church, presumably anybody can just attend. Then you can just drop her off and go back to the reception for an hour and a half.

+1. I'm sure it is fine for your tween to go to the wedding itself. Just not the reception. How old is this child exactly. Tween can mean different things to different people. If your kid is uncomfortable being alone, just send DH. You are overthinking all of this.