Anonymous
02/23/2026 08:31
Subject: Re:If you are a female doctor with kids, when did you have them, and how do you feel about it in retrospect?
I had my 1st at 35 as an attending. The other two were at 39 and 41. If I had met my husband earlier, I likely would have planned my 1st kid for 3rd year of residency.
Anonymous
02/23/2026 08:15
Subject: If you are a female doctor with kids, when did you have them, and how do you feel about it in retrospect?
Anonymous wrote:Not a doctor, but have a demanding career.
If you are female and a doctor, I don’t understand the need to have kids. The job is very demanding. If you want to dedicate yourself to your job like this, then don’t have kids.
My wife (transplant surgeon) had our first daughter at 29 as a resident. We had our second during her 2 year research stint at 31. She ended up completing a 7 year (5+2 research) general surgery residency and 2 year transplant surgery fellowship.
I was the primary caregiver all of these years and had to become a stay at home dad for it to work (we had no family nearby during residency). Sacrifices were made and she's still an excellent surgeon. Luckily, I was able to work and save during her gap year and medical school years. The kids are now 14 & 12 and we're in our low 40s and happy with how it all worked out even though it was very rough with them as toddlers 1000 miles away from family.
Anonymous
02/23/2026 07:59
Subject: If you are a female doctor with kids, when did you have them, and how do you feel about it in retrospect?
After residency. I was 32 and 35. Perfect time, no regrets.
One reason I hate that now the path is unnecessarily longer with gap year(s). The whole path can easily be made shorter.
One reason I hate that now the path is unnecessarily longer with gap year(s). The whole path can easily be made shorter.
Anonymous
02/18/2026 21:23
Subject: If you are a female doctor with kids, when did you have them, and how do you feel about it in retrospect?
Anonymous wrote:Not a doctor, but have a demanding career.
If you are female and a doctor, I don’t understand the need to have kids. The job is very demanding. If you want to dedicate yourself to your job like this, then don’t have kids.
You’re saying women can’t be doctors and mothers. You know that, right?
Anonymous
02/18/2026 21:18
Subject: If you are a female doctor with kids, when did you have them, and how do you feel about it in retrospect?
Not a doctor, but have a demanding career.
If you are female and a doctor, I don’t understand the need to have kids. The job is very demanding. If you want to dedicate yourself to your job like this, then don’t have kids.
If you are female and a doctor, I don’t understand the need to have kids. The job is very demanding. If you want to dedicate yourself to your job like this, then don’t have kids.
Anonymous
02/18/2026 21:01
Subject: If you are a female doctor with kids, when did you have them, and how do you feel about it in retrospect?
Anonymous wrote:I had kid during residency . Pregnant first year and gave birth second year. I worked until day of delivery. I took four weeks off.
DH was in neurosurgery residency third year.
It was very rough. We had no family help because we are from another country. Fortunately, we worked as an attending before coming to the USA. We Dave / investor well and we use those money to fund day care and Aupair. We hire a live in nanny during baby’s first year. She took care of DS during the day. I still had to tend to DS nightly . I barely sleep more than 4 hours on average for his first 3 years. It was very rough so we decided to only have one and done.
Look back it was perfect timing.we were 31 and 35. I saw my classmates and siblings having a hard time conceiving at age 38 to 39 years old. Some went though multiple round of ivf ( 5+ ) without success. One of my friend confessed to me that she saw how exhaust I was during residency so she waited until she and her DH finished everything and tried. But now she still not successful even with more than five rounds of ivf. So she thought my timing was perfect too.
Not a MD but a PHD and had my kid before I finished. Had 2 friends who waiting bc they wanted to finish school and same issues, lots of losses, money for IVF, still no baby. Even one who banked eggs that didnt work out. It's so hard, there is no perfect answer.
Anonymous
02/17/2026 20:57
Subject: If you are a female doctor with kids, when did you have them, and how do you feel about it in retrospect?
It seems hard to control whether you live near family early on as a doctor in training since you don't necessarily control where you will get into med school and match for residency. This is just an observation - not a question! (also you can't control whether your family will be helpful - as me how I know!)
Anonymous
02/17/2026 00:38
Subject: If you are a female doctor with kids, when did you have them, and how do you feel about it in retrospect?
33 and 35 during clinical and research fellowship. No regrets. There is never a perfect time. You will love them more than your career. (I’m very happy with my career.)
If you wait too long fertility may be an issue and increased health risks. Live near family if they will be helpful.
If you wait too long fertility may be an issue and increased health risks. Live near family if they will be helpful.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 15:46
Subject: Re:If you are a female doctor with kids, when did you have them, and how do you feel about it in retrospect?
I had one in med school, one in residency, one as an attending. The one during residency was the easiest (supportive program and protected time off) and the one as an attending the most stressful (pressure from practice leadership about RVUs). Having a baby in med school made clinical rotations harder because I felt guilty about the long hours, but no regrets and it made me more mature and a better doctor.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 14:20
Subject: If you are a female doctor with kids, when did you have them, and how do you feel about it in retrospect?
36 and 38 as an attending.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 10:52
Subject: If you are a female doctor with kids, when did you have them, and how do you feel about it in retrospect?
Had one DC at 31 while at my fellowship -- this was a surprise, lol. We had not planned on it. DH did not get a job when we moved for my fellowship, knowing we would only be there a year, so he was a SAHD that year. He got a job when we moved to the DMV after my fellowship. Had my second DC a few years later. It all worked out well.
Anonymous
02/07/2026 10:02
Subject: If you are a female doctor with kids, when did you have them, and how do you feel about it in retrospect?
I had kid during residency . Pregnant first year and gave birth second year. I worked until day of delivery. I took four weeks off.
DH was in neurosurgery residency third year.
It was very rough. We had no family help because we are from another country. Fortunately, we worked as an attending before coming to the USA. We Dave / investor well and we use those money to fund day care and Aupair. We hire a live in nanny during baby’s first year. She took care of DS during the day. I still had to tend to DS nightly . I barely sleep more than 4 hours on average for his first 3 years. It was very rough so we decided to only have one and done.
Look back it was perfect timing.we were 31 and 35. I saw my classmates and siblings having a hard time conceiving at age 38 to 39 years old. Some went though multiple round of ivf ( 5+ ) without success. One of my friend confessed to me that she saw how exhaust I was during residency so she waited until she and her DH finished everything and tried. But now she still not successful even with more than five rounds of ivf. So she thought my timing was perfect too.
DH was in neurosurgery residency third year.
It was very rough. We had no family help because we are from another country. Fortunately, we worked as an attending before coming to the USA. We Dave / investor well and we use those money to fund day care and Aupair. We hire a live in nanny during baby’s first year. She took care of DS during the day. I still had to tend to DS nightly . I barely sleep more than 4 hours on average for his first 3 years. It was very rough so we decided to only have one and done.
Look back it was perfect timing.we were 31 and 35. I saw my classmates and siblings having a hard time conceiving at age 38 to 39 years old. Some went though multiple round of ivf ( 5+ ) without success. One of my friend confessed to me that she saw how exhaust I was during residency so she waited until she and her DH finished everything and tried. But now she still not successful even with more than five rounds of ivf. So she thought my timing was perfect too.
Anonymous
02/06/2026 13:41
Subject: If you are a female doctor with kids, when did you have them, and how do you feel about it in retrospect?
Anonymous wrote:My cousin gave birth about six months after she finished residency and six months before she started her fellowship. Before the baby was born and after residency was over, she worked part time at a clinic as an internal medicine doctor and quit when the baby was born. I think she had to have that in between year regardless because she was her spouse was finishing up a fellowship that year and her fellowship was in another city. So then they moved and she started her fellowship and the first three months of her fellowship, he was at home with the baby. Moving, buying a new house, starting new jobs, and having a new baby all seemed very stressful to me at the time. But in retrospect, they both got to spend a lot of time with the baby - my cousin spent about seven months with the baby and her husband three or so so the barely as nearly a year old before they needed day care. They seem the most bonded to the oldest child. The others they had in the rush of both of them working as post-fellowship doctors at a hospital - does that mean attendings? and the other kids did not seem to get as much attention.
Now, that I think about it, she had her second child a couple months after she finished fellowship. So she timed it really well, I think.
Anonymous
02/06/2026 13:38
Subject: If you are a female doctor with kids, when did you have them, and how do you feel about it in retrospect?
My cousin gave birth about six months after she finished residency and six months before she started her fellowship. Before the baby was born and after residency was over, she worked part time at a clinic as an internal medicine doctor and quit when the baby was born. I think she had to have that in between year regardless because she was her spouse was finishing up a fellowship that year and her fellowship was in another city. So then they moved and she started her fellowship and the first three months of her fellowship, he was at home with the baby. Moving, buying a new house, starting new jobs, and having a new baby all seemed very stressful to me at the time. But in retrospect, they both got to spend a lot of time with the baby - my cousin spent about seven months with the baby and her husband three or so so the barely as nearly a year old before they needed day care. They seem the most bonded to the oldest child. The others they had in the rush of both of them working as post-fellowship doctors at a hospital - does that mean attendings? and the other kids did not seem to get as much attention.
Anonymous
02/06/2026 13:31
Subject: If you are a female doctor with kids, when did you have them, and how do you feel about it in retrospect?
Banked eggs in 30s. Successfully delivery with those at 44. For a sibling looking at over 45. Not sure. I’d bank eggs and wait until you can afford help unless you have other sources of support.