Anonymous
Post 01/25/2026 19:48     Subject: DS doesn't like wearing hats or sweatpants because they make him look poor
Anonymous wrote:Even if you were not the person to teach him this, I get the feeling that you are reinforcing the idea that appearances and clothes are very important. They are to a certain extent, but not at school, only in specific formal setting, like job interviews, funerals, etc.

I'm Old Money with 20M to my name and I wear sweatpants while out and about sometimes. My kids do as well. My husband dresses like a homeless guy - he truly does not care what other people think. We all know how to dress for solemn occasions when respect is communicated through dress.


+1
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2026 19:45     Subject: DS doesn't like wearing hats or sweatpants because they make him look poor
It's unfortunate to spend hundreds to let your kid look like they DGAF and just woke up.

I am familiar with the look and that it's trendy. It's all over my son's college campus.

There was a long thread on here a year ago about buying clothes for a kid to take to college in MA. Many moms were saying their boys don't even wear jeans...the lowest common denominator structured
pant that ever was.

Sorry, but I'm kind of horrified that looking like a gym rat is gaining in popularity.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2026 19:36     Subject: DS doesn't like wearing hats or sweatpants because they make him look poor
19:28 again and now I am quoting prices, these “sloppy sweats” you see the teens in are easily hundreds each for some brands. I agree, they can look sloppy but it’s the style.

Im thinking back to when my DD was 8 and she didn’t dress like this and had her favorite dresses and shirt she wore to school constantly. My son even wore jeans and real pants in elementary school. And shoes besides sneakers! So yes, let your kid pick out and wear whatever he wants and don’t give the poor comment any attention.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2026 19:28     Subject: DS doesn't like wearing hats or sweatpants because they make him look poor
Anonymous wrote:I bet it’s from online manosphere stuff, not in person people, but either way the easiest thing is just to let him pick his clothed.


It’s not. I have two teens, a girl and boy. They are 15 and 18 and wear primarily sweats, really expensive ones. I won’t even tell you the brands or costs.

But it doesn’t matter. Let your kid pick out his own clothes. He should be by now and if he doesn’t want to wear any sweats for any reason he doesn’t need to. It’s all a phase and they will switch styles so many times.

I’m only on the elementary forum out of boredom since we are snowed in.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2026 19:11     Subject: Re:DS doesn't like wearing hats or sweatpants because they make him look poor
I think it's ok (and even good) when kids care to present themselves neatly and respectfully. I would let him pick his clothing, but reinforce that wearing certain items doesn't mean someone is or isn't poor (and further reinforce that it's unkind to make those kinds of observations to begin with).

I wouldn't make a huge deal of it, just start paying attention to what he might be hearing in his social group or at home.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2026 19:07     Subject: DS doesn't like wearing hats or sweatpants because they make him look poor
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Sweatpants are sloppy. Especially on boys.

Not a poverty marker but very low effort.

No idea where hats fit in. What kind of hats. Knit caps? A coat with a hood is easier for a kid to keep track of.


The beauty of being rich is you can dress how you like. What is the harm in being judged as poor when you actually aren’t?


It's not being judged as poor. It's looking sloppy. There's a reason for school uniforms even though I didn't send my kids to a school that requires them.

Ideally, children's schoolclothes should differ noticeably from what they can or do wear to bed.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2026 19:05     Subject: DS doesn't like wearing hats or sweatpants because they make him look poor
Anonymous wrote:Sweatpants are sloppy. Especially on boys.

Not a poverty marker but very low effort.

No idea where hats fit in. What kind of hats. Knit caps? A coat with a hood is easier for a kid to keep track of.


The beauty of being rich is you can dress how you like. What is the harm in being judged as poor when you actually aren’t?
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2026 18:29     Subject: DS doesn't like wearing hats or sweatpants because they make him look poor
Everyone is being really hard on this boy and op. You all are overthinking a child's limited vocabulary and point of view about clothing style. Its kind of cute that he sees the differences in formality and chooses the slightly higher rung. Its his prerogative to have that opinion. He will learn it was a silly way of thinking really soon but nothing to worry about him having classist views. Whether its actually statistically true or just an anecdotal trope but some say its often the richer who care less about appearing well off and vice versa
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2026 18:18     Subject: DS doesn't like wearing hats or sweatpants because they make him look poor
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My 8-year old son told me this. I am quite shocked. He's more of a nerdy gamer kid, not really athletic (though he is starting to show a slight interest in sports). Obviously, with it being unreasonably cold, wearing a hat is an issue. Sweatpants aren't too big of a deal, but I picked out a Nike hoodie and sweatpants for him on Friday when he had gym and he refused to wear them. I didn't want to argue, nor did I have the time, so he just wore the hoodie and a pair of jeans. I know he's somewhat getting at the age when kids are being a bit self conscious, but I didn't think it would happen this young in boys. I have 2 girls, the oldest, which wasn't this way until middle school. I think he is being a bit hard on himself. I want to nip this in the bud before it gets too late.


"poor"

Lady you are a terrible parent.

He only got that utterly stupid statement from you.

Our 1% HHI family wears sweats all day everyday or leggings or joggers and hoodies.

More importantly if my kid said what yours did they would be poor. I'd make sure of it.


Is this some attempt at parody of DCUM posters lol?
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2026 18:07     Subject: DS doesn't like wearing hats or sweatpants because they make him look poor
Anonymous wrote:Even if you were not the person to teach him this, I get the feeling that you are reinforcing the idea that appearances and clothes are very important. They are to a certain extent, but not at school, only in specific formal setting, like job interviews, funerals, etc.

I'm Old Money with 20M to my name and I wear sweatpants while out and about sometimes. My kids do as well. My husband dresses like a homeless guy - he truly does not care what other people think. We all know how to dress for solemn occasions when respect is communicated through dress.


How did you get raised Old Money without learning that school is an occasion where respect should be communicated through dress?
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2026 17:41     Subject: DS doesn't like wearing hats or sweatpants because they make him look poor
Even if you were not the person to teach him this, I get the feeling that you are reinforcing the idea that appearances and clothes are very important. They are to a certain extent, but not at school, only in specific formal setting, like job interviews, funerals, etc.

I'm Old Money with 20M to my name and I wear sweatpants while out and about sometimes. My kids do as well. My husband dresses like a homeless guy - he truly does not care what other people think. We all know how to dress for solemn occasions when respect is communicated through dress.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2026 17:36     Subject: Re:DS doesn't like wearing hats or sweatpants because they make him look poor
Anonymous wrote:He’s 8. He should be picking out his own clothes. Stop doing it for him. Do you cut his food for him too!


Oh please. That’s not true, most boys that age don’t pick out their own clothes.

But since he is complaining then you both should go shopping together. Go to a Nike store. Don’t get clothes at Walmart or Target, they are awful for any clothing other than socks and underwear. Go to a mall and let him point out what he likes.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2026 13:57     Subject: DS doesn't like wearing hats or sweatpants because they make him look poor
That's pretty effed up
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2026 13:53     Subject: DS doesn't like wearing hats or sweatpants because they make him look poor
Sweatpants are sloppy. Especially on boys.

Not a poverty marker but very low effort.

No idea where hats fit in. What kind of hats. Knit caps? A coat with a hood is easier for a kid to keep track of.
Anonymous
Post 01/25/2026 12:34     Subject: DS doesn't like wearing hats or sweatpants because they make him look poor
Anonymous wrote:I bet it’s from online manosphere stuff, not in person people, but either way the easiest thing is just to let him pick his clothed.


I would hope a second/third grader is not exposed to the Internet like that. If he is, I would consider that a much more serious problem than his wardrobe choices.