We only toured schools we could afford for our current senior and when it was time to apply, he only applied to ones that we could afford with the net price calculator. He is going to a small OOS school that is less than any in state college.

Now, our 9th grader had stars in her eyes over a 90k private. We aren’t talking about this because she’s too young to take any of this seriously. When she’s older, we will do the same, only tour colleges we can afford, and only let her apply to colleges we can afford. In or OOS.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Many parents will say, "instate only". For some parents they don't want to risk that OOS *might* cost more, it's just easier they think to say no. Some of us said "yes" or "maybe, depending on final cost of acceptance."

"Heart set on it" is unimportant. You have said, "no". That's it, that's all. Not unusual.

The risk is that your kid will get themselves a merit-based full ride at some OOS school somewhere and just take off. And yes, I have met someone who did this. If the kid is 18 and doesn’t need your money, you can’t actually bind them to stay in state.

So, you would prefer to use money to keep your child geographically close to you?

… that is not what I said at all. I said I would not require my child to stay in-state if they were admitted to an OOS school they preferred at a similar or lower price point. (And if I wanted them to stay physically close to me, I would simply ask them to stay close to home, not make it about state lines.)