Anonymous wrote:Keep the bible listening and prayer.

No.

Anonymous wrote:How many of these would you feel can be done as non-negotiables. 5??

These are family rituals we love, but while I love all of them, all of them is not doable. My kids love the idea of these things too. (Add in school, groceries, random sports meetings/games/events)

Bible app listening / spiritual discussion
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner (no screens, connection)
3 of us want to strength train
Chores (15m or less)
Chore check (parent/kid accountability)
Homework
Reading
Consistent bedtime wind-down
Sleep / bedtime routine
Hug good night
Sunday: lay out clothes for the week

Homework should be done before dinner.

What do you mean that they are not doable?

I think all of these things are doable, but not if you make them all a separate family ritual.

OMG—make time for the things that are important to YOUR FAMILY—this is not something to crowd source.

But, realize that when you have teens your rigid schedules are going out the window and you’ll be rolling with the punches.

Keep the bible listening and prayer.

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I posted it yesterday in Off topic but I guess it was moved to General Parenting -makes sense. But I didn’t know that and thought it must have not posted.

I typed it up again, so the list is a little different. I removed things like Hugs because that’s so automatic for our bedtime I didn’t need to include it.

He locked the other one. I’ll read these comments now!

To be clear I posted twice in off topic. Once that got moved, and I never responded or saw it.
Second post that didn’t get moved and I have been responding to it.

Op here. I posted it yesterday in Off topic but I guess it was moved to General Parenting -makes sense. But I didn’t know that and thought it must have not posted.

I typed it up again, so the list is a little different. I removed things like Hugs because that’s so automatic for our bedtime I didn’t need to include it.

He locked the other one. I’ll read these comments now!

It's hard to know, when you don't include ages. Things look really different at when kids are different ages.

In general, though, we managed these things by consolidating them, usually around food.

When my kids were in elementary school (which is what I assume based on this list), we would sit down together 4 times a day. Breakfast, after school snack, dinner, bedtime. At each of these check in times, there were things that needed to be done before (e.g. You show up at breakfast with clothes on. Before we sit down for afternoon snack you put your lunch containers in the dishwasher, and your backpack and jacket in their spot by the door.) and things that would happen there. In our house pray before all meals, I read aloud at bedtime, we talk about responsibilities for the next period of time (e.g. you have soccer after school tomorrow, right after dinner, please go get your cleats and shin guards and put them in your backpack). So, all of those things got consolidated into those 4 times.

Now they're teenagers, and we gather at breakfast every day, pray, and talk through the day, who needs to picked up when, who is making dinner, etc . . . And then whoever goes to bed first finds the others and says goodnight. Sometimes we eat lunch or dinner together, but sometimes people are absent.

My other thoughts are

1) I don't pay for chores.

2) If your kid's chore is something you won't notice if it's not done, then it's going to be hard for your kid to see that as meaningful. Maybe pick another chore?

3) I can't imagine how laying out a week of clothes would work, either logistically, or socially because kids change their mind about what they wear.

4) If you want to work out, and one of your kids wants to join you, that's great! It doesn't really belong on this list though.

Anonymous wrote:Strange list...you include hugs good night but not teeth brushing or showers

I know right? So weird.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of these would you feel can be done as non-negotiables. 5??

These are family rituals we love, but while I love all of them, all of them is not doable. My kids love the idea of these things too. (Add in school, groceries, random sports meetings/games/events)

Bible app listening / spiritual discussion
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner (no screens, connection)
3 of us want to strength train
Chores (15m or less)
Chore check (parent/kid accountability)
Homework
Reading
Consistent bedtime wind-down
Sleep / bedtime routine
Hug good night
Sunday: lay out clothes for the week

You are insane.
Terrible parenting from "Bible app to chore check" "consistent bedtime wind-down"

I would hate to be so controlled. Just horrifyingly bad parenting.

Be honest. If the bible app was swapped out for meditation app, would you still be so breathtakingly negative?

Yep sure would.

No kid needs a meditation or bible app daily that is absurdly bad parenting.

Disagree. I’m atheist, bit who cares about bible app? It’s better than your kid watching TikTok. If all parents were like this, schools wouldn’t be filled with a bunch of out of control kids with poor behavior that can’t meet grade level proficiencies. Have you been in a public school lately? We need more engaged parents, not fewer.

My wild man kindergartener oddly likes my meditation app at the end of the day. It's a good wind-down activity for him.

I also appreciate that OP seems very intentional about time and prioritizing connection. I think there are activities OP can double-up on, like an audiobook while cooking or driving or doing chores, but I get it if stand-alone reading is better focus-wise than listening - even if it's only for 20 minutes.

Organizing my kids clothes for the week on Sunday is a gift I occasionally give myself because we are all late risers and I do not relish high-stakes laundry basket roulette.

That’s great eating food is non negotiable jan

My kids range from 9-16. The older ones pretty much stay in their rooms doing homework, talking with friends, video games.

Our rituals would be when everyone gets home from school, they sit and have a snack and tell me a bit about school. I check in with what homework they have ongoing, any upcoming tests, what they have due tomorrow. Then the frenzy of afternoon sports, music, etc.starts. Dinner is staggered. I check in with the older kids after dinner at some point to see what they are up to or if they need any homework help. Each child gets some 1:1 parent time at bedtime. I read to each child, except the 16 yr old, that one likes to have long chats at bedtime.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How many of these would you feel can be done as non-negotiables. 5??

These are family rituals we love, but while I love all of them, all of them is not doable. My kids love the idea of these things too. (Add in school, groceries, random sports meetings/games/events)

Bible app listening / spiritual discussion
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner (no screens, connection)
3 of us want to strength train
Chores (15m or less)
Chore check (parent/kid accountability)
Homework
Reading
Consistent bedtime wind-down
Sleep / bedtime routine
Hug good night
Sunday: lay out clothes for the week

You are insane.
Terrible parenting from "Bible app to chore check" "consistent bedtime wind-down"

I would hate to be so controlled. Just horrifyingly bad parenting.

Be honest. If the bible app was swapped out for meditation app, would you still be so breathtakingly negative?

Yep sure would.

No kid needs a meditation or bible app daily that is absurdly bad parenting.

Disagree. I’m atheist, bit who cares about bible app? It’s better than your kid watching TikTok. If all parents were like this, schools wouldn’t be filled with a bunch of out of control kids with poor behavior that can’t meet grade level proficiencies. Have you been in a public school lately? We need more engaged parents, not fewer.

Anonymous wrote:How many of these would you feel can be done as non-negotiables. 5??

These are family rituals we love, but while I love all of them, all of them is not doable. My kids love the idea of these things too. (Add in school, groceries, random sports meetings/games/events)

Bible app listening / spiritual discussion
Breakfast
Lunch
Dinner (no screens, connection)
3 of us want to strength train
Chores (15m or less)
Chore check (parent/kid accountability)
Homework
Reading
Consistent bedtime wind-down
Sleep / bedtime routine
Hug good night
Sunday: lay out clothes for the week

Except for the Bible app, and lay out clothes for the week, my family did this when the kids were young. Spouse and I switched off early morning workouts. Did the kids do chores every day? No, but that's because some things (empty the dishwasher) didn't happen every day. With one kid, for whom mornings were a challenge, we did add picking out clothes for the next day to their regular bedtime routine (bath, books, bed). Hugs are a given, no need to put on a "to do" list.

Ages? Mine are teens so not all.