Anonymous
Post 01/15/2026 12:03     Subject: Re:What do you say?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So I would figure out a way to let him know that getting married because of a surprise pregnancy is very, very likely to end in divorce and be extremely painful and disruptive to him, her and the baby. He should be clear with his GF that he will be supportive of either decision as he will be responsible for partial custody and child support no matter what happens to their relationship in the future but their relationship isn’t going to fast forward to marriage or living together because they are pregnant.

I also would not mention adoption at all. No mid twenties woman is going to go through pregnancy unless she wants to keep the baby or is too poor to travel out of a repressive state if they live in a ban/forced birth state.


Kids who are put up for adoption are very upset about that choice. I wouldn't say that's a choice anymore. There aren't closed adoptions anymore with DNA testing.


Please don't ever comment on adoption again.


Go look up how adults who were adopted as babies feel about it. There's a lot of trauma surrounding it and Gen Z in particular feels strongly against it.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2026 11:59     Subject: What do you say?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We love you and support you in all your choices.


This, plus I'm available to listen to anything you'd like to talk out.


All of this. Let me know how I can support you.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2026 11:54     Subject: What do you say?
Anonymous wrote:We love you and support you in all your choices.


This.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2026 11:49     Subject: What do you say?
Anonymous wrote:Your mid 20s son tells you his girlfriend of a year is pregnant and wants your advice.

They don’t know how far along she is and they have a joint appointment at planned parenthood in the next 48 hours.

What would you actually say?


If they are going to planned parenthood I would assume she is going to have an abortion. Totally their choice. And I would say let me know how I can help either before or after your appointment.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2026 11:45     Subject: Re:What do you say?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So I would figure out a way to let him know that getting married because of a surprise pregnancy is very, very likely to end in divorce and be extremely painful and disruptive to him, her and the baby. He should be clear with his GF that he will be supportive of either decision as he will be responsible for partial custody and child support no matter what happens to their relationship in the future but their relationship isn’t going to fast forward to marriage or living together because they are pregnant.

I also would not mention adoption at all. No mid twenties woman is going to go through pregnancy unless she wants to keep the baby or is too poor to travel out of a repressive state if they live in a ban/forced birth state.


Kids who are put up for adoption are very upset about that choice. I wouldn't say that's a choice anymore. There aren't closed adoptions anymore with DNA testing.


Please don't ever comment on adoption again.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2026 11:45     Subject: What do you say?
Anonymous wrote:We love you and support you in all your choices.


This, plus I'm available to listen to anything you'd like to talk out.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2026 11:45     Subject: Re:What do you say?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Let me know if you need help with anything.

You have 2 choices: have the baby/don't have the baby.
If you have the baby: You have 2 choices: Keep it/don't keep it

Have you thought about those choices?

Whatever happens we will support you in your decision and still plan to help you get through college. If your girlfriend needs support let us know.

I know this feels really big, but in the end everything will work out. Let me know how we can support you.


No. Are you serious? They are mid 20s not 16. Many of us were married in our mid twenties. How rude to ask if they have thought about it. Do you seriously think they just flipped a coin? Good lord.


He asked his mom for advice. Did you even read the first post?


Yes, did you? Clearly he is THINKING about it since they made the appointment and asked mom for advice. You don't say to anyone "have you thought about those choices". So condescending.

NP.
So out of everything that was written for what to say, you decided to pick part one tiny piece? Instead of presenting it as if it was horrible advice, you could have responded instead of asking ‘have you thought about these choices’ say, ‘what do you think about these choices?’
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2026 11:43     Subject: Re:What do you say?
Anonymous wrote:So I would figure out a way to let him know that getting married because of a surprise pregnancy is very, very likely to end in divorce and be extremely painful and disruptive to him, her and the baby. He should be clear with his GF that he will be supportive of either decision as he will be responsible for partial custody and child support no matter what happens to their relationship in the future but their relationship isn’t going to fast forward to marriage or living together because they are pregnant.

I also would not mention adoption at all. No mid twenties woman is going to go through pregnancy unless she wants to keep the baby or is too poor to travel out of a repressive state if they live in a ban/forced birth state.


Kids who are put up for adoption are very upset about that choice. I wouldn't say that's a choice anymore. There aren't closed adoptions anymore with DNA testing.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2026 11:40     Subject: What do you say?
We love you and support you in all your choices.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2026 11:39     Subject: What do you say?
Anonymous wrote:They sound like fools and careless if they both don't know how far along she is. She knows. She's not being truthful.


What a very odd take. Many women have inconsistent periods and its hard to track.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2026 11:37     Subject: Re:What do you say?
So I would figure out a way to let him know that getting married because of a surprise pregnancy is very, very likely to end in divorce and be extremely painful and disruptive to him, her and the baby. He should be clear with his GF that he will be supportive of either decision as he will be responsible for partial custody and child support no matter what happens to their relationship in the future but their relationship isn’t going to fast forward to marriage or living together because they are pregnant.

I also would not mention adoption at all. No mid twenties woman is going to go through pregnancy unless she wants to keep the baby or is too poor to travel out of a repressive state if they live in a ban/forced birth state.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2026 11:37     Subject: What do you say?
Anonymous wrote:I'd say, thinking about you both, let me know if you need anything.


This is what I'd say, even though what I'd want to say is, "Congratulations, when is the wedding?" They are old enough to make their own decisions, and this is a heavy one; they will need some nonjudgmental support.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2026 11:37     Subject: Re:What do you say?
Anonymous wrote:Let me know if you need help with anything.

You have 2 choices: have the baby/don't have the baby.
If you have the baby: You have 2 choices: Keep it/don't keep it

Have you thought about those choices?

Whatever happens we will support you in your decision and still plan to help you get through college. If your girlfriend needs support let us know.

I know this feels really big, but in the end everything will work out. Let me know how we can support you.

This.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2026 11:36     Subject: What do you say?
They sound like fools and careless if they both don't know how far along she is. She knows. She's not being truthful.
Anonymous
Post 01/15/2026 11:34     Subject: Re:What do you say?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Let me know if you need help with anything.

You have 2 choices: have the baby/don't have the baby.
If you have the baby: You have 2 choices: Keep it/don't keep it

Have you thought about those choices?

Whatever happens we will support you in your decision and still plan to help you get through college. If your girlfriend needs support let us know.

I know this feels really big, but in the end everything will work out. Let me know how we can support you.


No. Are you serious? They are mid 20s not 16. Many of us were married in our mid twenties. How rude to ask if they have thought about it. Do you seriously think they just flipped a coin? Good lord.


He asked his mom for advice. Did you even read the first post?


Yes, did you? Clearly he is THINKING about it since they made the appointment and asked mom for advice. You don't say to anyone "have you thought about those choices". So condescending.
.

Do you have any advice or are you just here to bash people?


The advice is, don't use that wording.