Anonymous wrote:3rd grader likely getting a C on report card in math. What should be consequence (if any?) Teacher said mostly due to rushing, not trying, and making careless mistakes. He’s in the gifted classes and hasn’t had to study much before.

Should we take away a privilege? put him in math tutoring? Was previously in mathnasium but hated it. Likes robotics and programming.

How do you handle disappointing grades when student is capable of better?

If you want some insight into how your relationship with your son will unfold over the years as you punish him for being human, look at this subreddit.
https://www.reddit.com/r/AsianParentStories/

Anonymous wrote:Ask the Teacher to send the improperly completed work home and re do it with him at home. Explain that you understand earning a C but that you think they can do better and so they will be correcting school work at home. You are doing this so that they learn the material properly because it is important that build a strong foundation. Make them correct the mistakes and sloppy work. Explain that if their work at school meets the teachers standards that they won't have to do it at home. This is the top priority so there is no playing or relxing at home until they have reviewed their math with you.

I bet that they will change their behavior in math quickly.

Great approach.

It's interesting to me, the people who are calling you names and saying you're a bad parent. They're effectively "punishing" you for not knowing better. I'm sure it feels awful to read these people's remarks.

It's a good parallel though to how your kid will likely feel if you come in hot about his report card.

The mantra I try to live by in parenting (and in life more generally) is to approach problems with curiosity.

Ask him how it's going? Does he not understand the material? Is he bored? Once you understand the actual issue, then you can work on fixing it.

For my son (also 8) who got a 2 (out of 4) for ELA this term, the problem was that he wasn't applying a very specific framework in his written responses. So I'm reviewing his homework with him nightly, and I guess that's the "consequence."

Unless your kid is in high school skipping class and not doing work (probably a mental issue (so punishing might not be helpful here either), then you should not be punishing them for bad grades. Get them help.

Anonymous wrote:Hopefully this means we're seeing the end of grade inflation.

Shut up

Anonymous wrote:My sister killed herself over a bad report card. Put this grade in perspective for a child. C is average. It does not matter. If you know why he got the grade, work on a plan to fix the issues in a non-punitive way. He already knows he disappointed the people he loves the most. It’s a grade, not his self-worth.

I am very sorry.

Anonymous wrote:3rd grader likely getting a C on report card in math. What should be consequence (if any?) Teacher said mostly due to rushing, not trying, and making careless mistakes. He’s in the gifted classes and hasn’t had to study much before.

Should we take away a privilege? put him in math tutoring? Was previously in mathnasium but hated it. Likes robotics and programming.

How do you handle disappointing grades when student is capable of better?

OMG get parenting classes.

You do not punish for this idiot! This is third grade.

What is wrong with you? You want your kid to hate learning?

Yes you put him in private tutoring. And you also work with him nightly. After math homework you go over it together. Get math games as well and start playing.

Be a parent. How is this hard?

3rd graders shouldn't be receiving grades.

If the teacher has told you he is struggling in particular areas (be it content or attention skills), find ways to get help.

The C is the "punishment" if you want to view it that way. Your role as parent is to help them understand the consequences and improve.

My sister killed herself over a bad report card. Put this grade in perspective for a child. C is average. It does not matter. If you know why he got the grade, work on a plan to fix the issues in a non-punitive way. He already knows he disappointed the people he loves the most. It’s a grade, not his self-worth.

Ask the Teacher to send the improperly completed work home and re do it with him at home. Explain that you understand earning a C but that you think they can do better and so they will be correcting school work at home. You are doing this so that they learn the material properly because it is important that build a strong foundation. Make them correct the mistakes and sloppy work. Explain that if their work at school meets the teachers standards that they won't have to do it at home. This is the top priority so there is no playing or relxing at home until they have reviewed their math with you.

I bet that they will change their behavior in math quickly.

You don't punish, you ask questions and figure out what's going on and problem solve together with the kid and provide support.

By the way, this is what you do all the way through high school, as needed.

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like he needs help, not punishment

Exactly what I thought when I saw the title.

It sounds like you need to teach your son how to check his work. There are some specific strategies for how to do that which he may just not be aware of (eg use estimation to figure out whether he’s in the right ballpark, solve the problem using two different methods and compare the answers, etc.).

Hopefully this means we're seeing the end of grade inflation.

Your 3rd grader gets grades?

In elementary school, I would take any bad grades as a failing on the part of the parents. You need to work and tutor him more nightly.