Anonymous wrote:Come on OP. You have to know this can't be generalized.

I know. People stereotype here all the time.

Better behaved does not equal nice. Plenty of kids who fake nice for adults are mean to other kids.

My kid was dcps k - 2, private 2 -5 (COVID plus a few years) and then dcps 6-7

Most kids were well behaved at both, but the private had more needy / delicate type kids. The parents paid a lot for more support, higher teacher / student ratio. The private was great at supporting them, but at the same time the cohort had a higher percentage of needy kids.

Now in middle school, large dcps, it’s sink or swim - my child is doing well and is happy enough. They complain less about “problem” kids that distract in class than before in the private.

My kids go to big public schools. They have terrific friends whose parents I get along with well.

That said, I'm sure there are jerk kids at both their schools. But we avoid them as much as I get a say. That's much much easier to do in a big school than a small private school. The social options alone are just so much more plentiful.

My kid was in public thru 2nd. Then homeschooled 3rd because covid. Private 4th thru 8th which is current year. Back to public for HS.
I think kids are better behaved in private. That doesnt always equate to being nicer though. We’ve had nice kids and jerk kids in both.
Model good behavior and set expectations for kind and good behavior and your kid will follow your lead..

Grade dependent, school dependent, and depends on so many factors. My kids have been in DCPS for a while and never had bullying issues, then recently, just found out there is a group of kids at the middle school who are targeting neurodivergent kids. I do not understand what kind of human beings raise their kids to target the disabled and marginalized, but neither here nor there, I suppose. The bullies are all mostly white and on the wealthier side of the demographics of the school. I do think a lot of bullying behaviors stem from entitlement and superiority complexes (as well as insecurity) and you will find this at private and public. The issue is our culture accepts it and just tells everyone to not say anything or do anything because allegedly it makes it worse. There really isn’t much true accountability (as far as I’ve seen) in our society in general.

Anonymous wrote:I would say private school kids generally are nicer because:

1. There is an admissions filter for incoming students that rejects extremely bad behavior,
2. Their parents can devote significant resources to their children's educations, and
3. Social skills can be placed on the back burner when parents struggle to meet basic needs like food, shelter, and adequate childcare.

Every group has hierarchies and subgroups... Of course bullying can be ruthless in any group...

But in general, it's easier to be a decent human being when the most violent kids can't sit next to you in class, your family is investing money into your upbringing, and you're not hungry all the time.

You're not understanding OP's question. She said there are a bunch of bad behaved kids at her DD's public. So, she is considering going private to get away from that kind of behavior. But with private, she is worried that the kids will exhibit a DIFFERENT kind of behavior INSTEAD: meanness and entitlement. In other words, she is assuming better classroom behavior at the private, but she wants to know if her concerns about meaness are valid. Will she just trade one for the other? Obviously we can't answer that because it depends on the two schools she is comparing. So, ridiculous thread.

By nicer do you mean kinder? More polite? something else? Nice is a trash can word, as my English teacher used to say.

The private I attended had a culture of meanness. No one was spared. It was brutal and if I lived in the same city where I grew up, there is no way I would ever send my kid there.

Definitely private. Private can kick out the bad kids whereas public allows the bad kids to rule the entire classroom with no downside.

Anonymous wrote:Come on OP. You have to know this can't be generalized.

+1 What do people gain by posting clickbait-y stuff like this? Does OP lack employment or some other productive purpose in life?

I would say private school kids generally are nicer because:

1. There is an admissions filter for incoming students that rejects extremely bad behavior,
2. Their parents can devote significant resources to their children's educations, and
3. Social skills can be placed on the back burner when parents struggle to meet basic needs like food, shelter, and adequate childcare.

Every group has hierarchies and subgroups... Of course bullying can be ruthless in any group...

But in general, it's easier to be a decent human being when the most violent kids can't sit next to you in class, your family is investing money into your upbringing, and you're not hungry all the time.

It will depend on the particular school and often the particular grade.

The benefit of most public schools is that they are large enough to support multiple communities and friend groups.

Whereas private schools tend to be very small. If a kid is on the receiving end of mean girl or bullying behavior, there's no alternative or safe space for the kid. So the consequences of mean girls and bullies is much more severe for private school students.

I don’t know about nicer kids or not, but the public school parents were weirder. Not a lot of quirky parents in private. And tbh, I like it better that more of the adults have their acts together.

It’s a bs question.