To add it’s hard to feel happy with two small kids, esp if you have them a bit later in life when you tire more easily. Give it a few years and make sure the peri is under control!

I think happiness is an elusive concept and is not the end goal. People who live their life right (are growing and nurturing a family, work at jobs that are for the greater good, have a peaceful existence and don’t hurt others) are living the right way. It’s more about being satisfied with what you have and what you’ve become.

OP you sound depressed, have you considered that and sought help? Of course there are women in their fifties and sixties who are happy. I am one of them.

Anonymous wrote:The wealthy #DINKWADS# seem to be living it up and loving life in their 60s and beyond but, like you, that ship has sailed for me so not sure what the best answer is.

Well they won’t be so happy when they live to their 90s with the current state of longevity and there’s no one to look out for them

I’m 51 and am largely satisfied with my life and have quite a bit of happiness and joy. I find the pressure to have a “happy life” to be too much and I am content with the above.

I’m in good physical and mental shape.

I'm 70 and definitely living my best life. Married 40 plus years and still really enjoy each other. Husband and I are reasonably healthy, with healthy, happy, and successful children and grandchildren. All of that is more luck than anything else.

Living in my dream house. Enjoying regular travel with friends or just with husband. Relaxed and elegant everyday life. Unlimited time to read. Very little stress. We have enough resources not to worry, but not extremely wealthy. We have our lifestyle to our means. Again.... lots of luck.

My bucket list is complete. Early on I made a conscious decision to enjoy every life stage as much as possible. My children were challenging, with chronic health issues, so there were definitely some difficult and stressful years. We made it through.

I don't personally know any older women living a life I would be happy with.

This is probably about you, not them. Not whether they are happy-enough. They have some wisdom that you do not, because you haven't lived what they have lived. From the outside looking-in, you can't know much

I’m 39 and felt that way. What helped me:

1. Divorce. Kids are great, but a man who needs to be mothered will suck the life right out of you.

2. Cut back on work. I spent about 3 years strategically setting myself up for higher pay with fewer work hours. At my current job, I negotiated part time work for full time pay. I also cut expenses to go along with this.

3. I do WAY more of the things I want to do. One of the best things I heard from an older mom was that she wished she spent her kids’ childhood doing less kid stuff (birthday parties, sports, kid activities, children’s museums, etc) and more time doing the things she wanted with her kids tagging along. So I do very few kid activities and more activities I want to do.

4. Take mini breaks throughout the day. I’ll put on my AirPods and listen to music I like for 10-15 minutes while I clean up around the house. Or I’ll do 15 minutes of yoga. Or whatever. Get back into the stuff you used to love in your 20s.

In my opinion, “Happy” is not a constant state. Rather, happy moments are ones that punctuate life.

I believe you are a fortunate person if you are content with your life, together with all its ups and downs.

Life is a series of peaks and valleys. Don’t let your peaks get too high, or your valleys get too low. If you can manage that, you’re doing OK.

I'm 57 and quite happy. The most exhausting parts of parenthood are in the rearview mirror, and it's a joy to see my young adult children start to forge their own paths. We're financially secure, so I have the time and funds to enjoy my life on my own terms. DH and I are back to regular dinners out, going to shows, and entertaining.

The hard part of aging has been losing one parent and needing to be there for the other in decline, but I can keep that in perspective. I do have moments where the loss is crushing, but such is the cycle of life.

I'm 56 and happy. I divorced my husband 5 years ago. I have a great relationship with my adult sons. I'm in great shape. I have a friend I see once a week for dinner and fun. I love to travel. I will never remarry.

I am 45 and I feel like I'm near the bottom of the happiness curve (maybe a little past the bottom) but I know lots of women in their 50s who are happy. They definitely aren't in physical or mental decline! Most 50-somethings I know seem pretty darn healthy.

Also, it seems like parenting gets less laborious and more rewarding with teens and college kids, at least in my observation. Don't get me wrong, I find my elementary kid rewarding, but it's still a LOT of work. Between that and my actual job, and the effort I put into maintaining relationships, taking care of my health, etc., I can see how having older, more independent kids would lower stress overall.

54 and very happy. Single mom to a 16 year old. I have a very good relationship with my son. I have a small group of close friends who I see regularly. Family is close by and see them at least monthly. I volunteer and do hobby-type stuff when I get bored. Job is meh, but I make enough money for us. Life is good.

I’m 48 and happy. We aren’t wealthy (at all) but DH and I both have interesting jobs, our kids aren’t perfect but they are loving, fun, and funny, we aren’t in perfect shape but we exercise daily and eat good food. We own a small house in the middle of DC, and we have good friends (all of whom could mostly be described by all the above, too). I prize peace, connection, and contentment above many other things, so I do what I can to make sure those are achievable.

I will say that I really love having teens. I was more tired and also poorer when our kids were younger; even though we’re now paying for college, we also earn more because we’re farther along in our careers (again, not wealthy for DC). It really helps to not be always aiming for more (money, stuff, power).

I'm 59 and happy, but that doesn't mean I have no life challenges. My son asked me last night how I do it. My answer is: faith in God and His plan for me (helps with perspective during trying times); taking care of myself mentally (seeing friends) and physically (being outside, some exercise); trying to help the loved ones in my life where I can (a lot of circumstances where I can't); avoiding doom scrolling (I try to stay off the Internet and my phone except to check news/social media in the morning and then at night). I'm sure there's more but I don't usually think about it much.