Anonymous
Post 01/13/2026 13:17     Subject: No libido or desire for sex
Anonymous wrote:women’s desire is responsive so unless your DH is treating you really well in all realms, that’s where you should look to improve before you medicate yourself to please him.


Ah, yes, the traditional DCUM "it is never the woman's fault" post.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2026 11:58     Subject: No libido or desire for sex
women’s desire is responsive so unless your DH is treating you really well in all realms, that’s where you should look to improve before you medicate yourself to please him.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2026 11:58     Subject: No libido or desire for sex
In your 50s and you “think” you’re in peri? Girl, you’ve been in it for ages whether you’ve had noticeable symptoms or not. HRT is up to you but you seem to be doing fine without.

If low libido is your only “symptom”, I would chalk that up to being with the same man for too long, unfortunately.
Anonymous
Post 01/13/2026 10:58     Subject: No libido or desire for sex
OP here. I don’t think my husband would stray (who ever does) but I see his frustrations. He doesn’t have an outlet outside of working out. I’ll talk to my doc and hopefully find a solution.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2026 22:53     Subject: No libido or desire for sex
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have the opposite problem. I can’t stop thinking about sex I take care of myself but it’s not the same. My DH has zero interest and we haven’t been intimate in years. I’m 42


Oh dang! How old is your DH and how long it has been? Is he getting it somewhere else?


PP here. He’s 42. It’s been very limited for the last 5 years. Maybe less than 5 times in as many years. I don’t think he’s getting it elsewhere as he’s got ASD and almost never leaves the house.

I’m
Actively looking for someone but can’t divorce now.


I am sorry for your situation, PP. has he always been like this or it has gone worse recently? Any issues with ED?

You need to take care of yourself and if finding someone helps then be it.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2026 20:49     Subject: No libido or desire for sex
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:56 years? So, he has suffered enough.
I had crazy libido few years before the desire completely disappeared at 47.
I'm single, so it's fine I guess. I have male friends who want to show me good times, but they don't realize that my clit retired/shrank.
Happened within two months. Just about the same time joints started making noises.
I feel for your DH. Do something.


what happens when a clit shrinks? did you take any help at the age of 47 or before that?


This is real a quite common in menopause. There is a separate thread here on clitoral atrophy and how some of us cope.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2026 20:34     Subject: No libido or desire for sex
Go watch that HBO show everyone is talking about — Heated Rivalry. If that doesn’t do anything for you, you need medical intervention.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2026 19:01     Subject: No libido or desire for sex
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I have the opposite problem. I can’t stop thinking about sex I take care of myself but it’s not the same. My DH has zero interest and we haven’t been intimate in years. I’m 42


Oh dang! How old is your DH and how long it has been? Is he getting it somewhere else?


PP here. He’s 42. It’s been very limited for the last 5 years. Maybe less than 5 times in as many years. I don’t think he’s getting it elsewhere as he’s got ASD and almost never leaves the house.

I’m
Actively looking for someone but can’t divorce now.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2026 18:35     Subject: No libido or desire for sex
Anonymous wrote:I have the opposite problem. I can’t stop thinking about sex I take care of myself but it’s not the same. My DH has zero interest and we haven’t been intimate in years. I’m 42


Oh dang! How old is your DH and how long it has been? Is he getting it somewhere else?
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2026 15:01     Subject: No libido or desire for sex
I have the opposite problem. I can’t stop thinking about sex I take care of myself but it’s not the same. My DH has zero interest and we haven’t been intimate in years. I’m 42
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2026 14:55     Subject: No libido or desire for sex
I would talk to doc about HRT and other medications.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2026 11:18     Subject: No libido or desire for sex
Sounds like: you don’t use it, you lose it. At minimum if you aren’t have sex you should play with yourself. This way you maintain your clit.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2026 09:43     Subject: No libido or desire for sex
Anonymous wrote:56 years? So, he has suffered enough.
I had crazy libido few years before the desire completely disappeared at 47.
I'm single, so it's fine I guess. I have male friends who want to show me good times, but they don't realize that my clit retired/shrank.
Happened within two months. Just about the same time joints started making noises.
I feel for your DH. Do something.


what happens when a clit shrinks? did you take any help at the age of 47 or before that?
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2026 08:42     Subject: No libido or desire for sex
Peri or not: You better take care of your man before someone else does.
Anonymous
Post 01/12/2026 07:07     Subject: No libido or desire for sex
56 years? So, he has suffered enough.
I had crazy libido few years before the desire completely disappeared at 47.
I'm single, so it's fine I guess. I have male friends who want to show me good times, but they don't realize that my clit retired/shrank.
Happened within two months. Just about the same time joints started making noises.
I feel for your DH. Do something.