Op here, he brushed past me and I felt his hand graze over the top of my butt, from left to right. I would have thought it was a mistake or a very light touch to just say “excuse me, right behind you”, but there was no excuse or apology. I always say excuse me if I’m passing someone or I accidentally graze them.

I'm a man. I've never done this but I had it done to be by a female colleague. She and I flirted a little but we were both married, and we both knew each other's spouses. So we kept the flirting very sporadic and mild. There was no chance of an affair. But at a big office party, we were standing next to each other for a group photo and she grabbed my butt. Al Franken reportedly did something similar once or twice.

I just laughed it off. I didn't tell my wife or her husband. She did apologize though.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You must be sending him the vibes that made him feel okay to touch your butt

I would keep my distance from that man. I wouldn’t mention this to my friend unless you intend to lose her. She might have an even more ignorant view than the one posted above and try to blame you.

I would mention this to my own DH though to make sure someone has my back.

She should tell the friend. Obviously the aren't going to keep hanging out with handsy husband so friend deserves to know why. Also, I would want to know if my husband was going around grabbing my friends' butts. I would want Op to tell me.

Op I’m circling back to warn you strongly not to say anything about this to your friend. She will be embarrassed and blame you or she will outright blame you and she will distance herself from you to keep her husband. That won’t end well it never does. Remember women are always wrong and men are blameless or forgiven.

And if that is her friends choice of how to react, then it was never a very strong friendship to begin with. But I would still tell my friend (if I was 100% sure it was an intentional grab of a handful and not a possibly accidental graze.

And no, women are not seen as always wrong and men always blameless. Have you read the threads on here? Probably 90% are blaming the man.

Anonymous wrote:Gross. Nope done with that couple.

This. some men are pervs. He's one of them.

At least he didn’t brush by you with a hard0n

Anonymous wrote:You must be sending him the vibes that made him feel okay to touch your butt

Shut up OP ignore this troll

You did nothing wrong .

Best if at the time you say get your ring hand off my ass as loud as possible he won’t do it again

It’s gross. You probably know what you know. But if it’s a couple I like, and I don’t feel threatened (my threshold is high but other people have a lower one for lots of good reasons) I would be inclined to hope it was an accident and keep my guard up for a while with him but not do anything right now.

Anonymous wrote:Gross. Nope done with that couple.

+1

Anonymous wrote:Didn’t happen.

This is how I handled it with a friend's husband who drunkenly came onto me. Pushed him off and forgot about it. It's been 10 years with nothing else weird so I am glad I wrote it off as an alcohol thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You must be sending him the vibes that made him feel okay to touch your butt

I would keep my distance from that man. I wouldn’t mention this to my friend unless you intend to lose her. She might have an even more ignorant view than the one posted above and try to blame you.

I would mention this to my own DH though to make sure someone has my back.

She should tell the friend. Obviously the aren't going to keep hanging out with handsy husband so friend deserves to know why. Also, I would want to know if my husband was going around grabbing my friends' butts. I would want Op to tell me.

Op I’m circling back to warn you strongly not to say anything about this to your friend. She will be embarrassed and blame you or she will outright blame you and she will distance herself from you to keep her husband. That won’t end well it never does. Remember women are always wrong and men are blameless or forgiven.

Anonymous wrote:He was counting on your shock being your silence. Some men get off on making women uncomfortable, and groping one of his wife’s friends definitely qualifies.

I’m sorry op. I wouldn’t want to hang out with him anymore, and it’s unfortunately likely only the tip of the iceberg.

+1

So sorry, what a bad situation. Especially frustrating because as another poster noted, in theory there is still *some* very very small chance that it was an accident, but this seems less likely, and you're now in the awful position of being left to question the encounter and hold onto this uncomfortable information on your own. Whatever happened was absolutely not your fault.

It may be worth gently sussing out among other friends in the shared friend group if this has happened to them, too, or if they have noted any inappropriate behavior from him. Men who do this tend to feel entitled to women's bodies - when I was in a similar situation and silently stressing over a situation where I had been groped, I learned later that several other women had had similar encounters with the person in question.

Anonymous wrote:OP liked it

Again, take your misogyny elsewhere.

I bet you have no friends and are typing this from your ugly basement?

Creep, for real!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He was counting on your shock being your silence. Some men get off on making women uncomfortable, and groping one of his wife’s friends definitely qualifies.

I’m sorry op. I wouldn’t want to hang out with him anymore, and it’s unfortunately likely only the tip of the iceberg.

Groping??? Brushing by a woman in a tight dress is hardly groping!

Do you often excuse sexual assault based on what the victim was wearing?

Anonymous wrote:OP liked it

You're so edgy!