In answer to your question - - no you are definitely not a jerk OP.
And you really shouldn’t feel that you must “re-frame” your thinking so that you will feel more comfortable discussing your infertility issues w/your coworker’s wife.
If you do not feel comfortable discussing such a personal issue w/her then that is a-okay……you really do not have to.
Infertility issues are so personal that there are A LOT of people who would not want to openly discuss this topic > even w/their own families.
Btw, I wish you ➕ your husband all the best.
