Anonymous wrote:Why did you write sexual this way? It still says sexual

Agree so dumb

My kid knows about sex and has since age 8 but obviously we haven’t taught her everything. Just the other day she asked me what condoms were after hearing it in a tv show she was watching (she’s 10 now, and yes I went back to look at what she was watching on Netflix!). My policy has always been honesty about these things so I just told her it’s something people use to prevent getting pregnant. She accepted that and moved on. I think the more we try to cover things up the more sensationalized they become…

Just say it’s a sexual reference or part of sex. I also mention that it’s usually inappropriate to talk about at school so my kids don’t walk around telling their friends about it in class. They know they can ask me anything and get a straight answer, which is very important to me.

I’d say… when a boy rubs his penis it’s called masturbation, when someone else rubs his penis it’s called a hand job.

Anonymous wrote:She’s in 1st grade or 2nd grade Op? I made it out of elementary school without worrying about sex. It’s ok for children not to be exposed to sex at 9 years old. Let her play with Barbie and Ken without enacting hand jobs.

What??? My 11 year old was an 4th when she was 9.

Be people they can trust now and they may confide in you later. A hand job is when a man’s penis is touched for sexual enjoyment.

They say ewwww gross
The end

Anonymous wrote:I would really down play it and move on (a “you’ll learn when you’re older, Mom made a mistake with this movie” kind of response). Let the 9 year old be innocent.

I do think that’s different from explaining the birds and the bees… no need to go into various sexual acts at that age.

And teach your kid that they cannot ask you about something that might be related to sex because you will deflect and not answer their question. Good call.

Telling the kid that the term relates to a sex act and giving more information if the kids asks is fine. Nine times out of ten the only reason why my kid even realized something objectionable was said was because of how my husband or I reacted, normally a "I forgot this movie had that in it" type comment. We learned to not say that and our kid seemed unphased. If he did ask, we explained. It was basic fact. Nothing really to hide or make seem to be scandalous, just age appropriate.

I would really down play it and move on (a “you’ll learn when you’re older, Mom made a mistake with this movie” kind of response). Let the 9 year old be innocent.

I do think that’s different from explaining the birds and the bees… no need to go into various sexual acts at that age.

Anonymous wrote:She’s in 1st grade or 2nd grade Op? I made it out of elementary school without worrying about sex. It’s ok for children not to be exposed to sex at 9 years old. Let her play with Barbie and Ken without enacting hand jobs.

m

I regret to inform you that all the elementary school girls I knew were basically enacting lesbian orgies with their dolls. Barbie and Skipper were scissoring before I knew there was a term for it.

When something like this comes up in a movie (e.g. all the references to being a virgin in Hocus Pocus) I just explain generally that it’s a term that has to do with sex. We had very high level, introductory discussions about sex and cells and consent etc. when our kids were about 8-9 y/o so they understand it exists. Our oldest is now 11 and we have yet to have any in depth follow up questions arising from movie lines, but if my kids really pressed then I’d give them the simplest, honest answer I could. I still remember being in elementary school and learning some phrases from Green Day, TLC, etc. which were on top 40 radio.

It can be a hard line to walk sometimes, but I try really hard to answer questions in the most simple way I can without getting into things they didn’t ask about, while also making sure they know they can come ask me about absolutely anything and I will give them an honest answer.

At that age Id my daughter had questions about things and the answer was that it was sexual, I generally would say “it’s something not appropriate for your age “ and if she asked for more details i would say “it is related to sex “ and then (being 9) she’d be embarrassed and grossed out enough to ask me not to say anything else. This is probably personality dependent and only works if your 9 year old knows what sec is. But by that age she had asked how people get pregnant so had a rudimentary /loose understanding of the birds and bees.

Anonymous wrote:"It's related to sex." That would be enough to make my kids not want to know anything more.

Does she know about sex?

I’m the bland factual consent based answer below and I also think this is a good response.

My kid would get a bland factual answer, that emphasized consent.

“Well, grown ups who love each other often like to make each other feel good, and one way they do that, when they both really want to, is to touch each other’s private parts. That can be called a hand job.

That’s only for grown ups who both really want to. If someone ever tried to do that to you, or asked you to do that to them, you should tell mom or dad right away.”

"It's related to sex." That would be enough to make my kids not want to know anything more.

Does she know about sex?

Why did you write sexual this way? It still says sexual

"It's a very rude thing to say, ill explain after the movie."