Anonymous wrote:If you have a baby, my guess is that the baby isn’t mobile, because once the baby is mobile that will be a top priority in why you will want to stay in a hotel, and will want clean floors.

My crawling child developed an eye infection after crawling on my MIL's filthy floors. You do need to figure this out. I'd be honest and make it clear the cleaning is for you not a gift for them. If it were a gift for them, it would be after they hosted not before.

Anonymous wrote:Hotel. That's it. No way to make this happen without offending.

This.

Stay in a hotel and limit your visits.
Have your husband gift them cleaners.

I wouldn’t use the word “deep”. Just tell them professional cleaning.

You could secretly bring that collapsible swiffer thingy with you and at least clean your room and maybe the common areas when they aren’t looking… the smell is the wet pads is overwhelming though. But even the dry pads can help with dog hair somewhat.
Once the baby starts crawling you can do it in the open citing concerns over baby, but yes you’ll have to do it yourself I think.

Hotel. That's it. No way to make this happen without offending.

I don't think one deep clean at a house that filthy is going to help. And people who are messy and hoard often don't want help cleaning up. I would stay at the hotel and blame your allergies. I also wouldn't do Christmas there every year. You can visit at other times.

Anonymous wrote:Your husband should be handling this, if this happened to my mother in law my husband would already have told her to clean the house but it doesn't. Is your husband a door mat

This. Your husband should say, “your place is filthy and we’re not coming unless it’s cleaned. We have a baby ffs.”

Your husband should be handling this, if this happened to my mother in law my husband would already have told her to clean the house but it doesn't. Is your husband a door mat

I paid for monthly cleaning service at my parents' house after they turned about 75. It was necessary.

If you have a baby, my guess is that the baby isn’t mobile, because once the baby is mobile that will be a top priority in why you will want to stay in a hotel, and will want clean floors.

My parents home has been dirty, doesn’t sound as bad as your in laws. I insisted they get cleaning service and I would pay for it.

This is entirely for your husband to handle. Let him decide if he wants to offer this.

If I were you, I would just plan to stay at the hotel.

IMO the best policy is honesty.

You can tell them that your allergies go through the roof and you’d love to stay with them so you will pay for a deep cleaning to be done before you arrive.

And or, you stay at the hotel. It’s only a 30 minute drive. It’s not terrible. And you tell him that it’s due to your crazy dog allergies.

Is there a way to gift a deep clean for next Christmas without being offensive? No.

If asked again to stay over - "Oh, thank you so much. We had such fun last time. My allergies to the dog are just too much, though - we'll need to stay at a hotel."