Anonymous
Post 12/23/2025 19:22     Subject: DC dating someone who has been in mental institution
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DC came home from first year at a northeastern college and they have a significant other (been dating since October). through casual conversation reveals that the significant other was committed to a mental institution for an attempt to take their life. This was when the individual was in middle school. DC told me the SO is on medication and it is all under control. Never encountered this type of situation before. Is this a major red flag? Or can people overcome these types of demons from a young age?


Plenty of people are living completely normal lives with mental illness. They don't tell people like you because clearly you're prejudiced. It is not a "major red flag." But you are! I hope she doesn't marry in to your family.


DP
Mental illnesses are genetic - why introduce those genes when there are plenty of other healthier options for my kid.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2025 19:19     Subject: DC dating someone who has been in mental institution
Anonymous wrote:DC came home from first year at a northeastern college and they have a significant other (been dating since October). through casual conversation reveals that the significant other was committed to a mental institution for an attempt to take their life. This was when the individual was in middle school. DC told me the SO is on medication and it is all under control. Never encountered this type of situation before. Is this a major red flag? Or can people overcome these types of demons from a young age?


Major red flag!

It’s like addiction - it never really goes away; it’s just “under control”
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2025 19:18     Subject: DC dating someone who has been in mental institution
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We don't use the term Mental Institution anymore. It's called a psychiatric hospital.


Please don't police other people's speech. OP can use whatever terminology she wants. You knew what she meant.


They aren’t the same thing though. An institution is generally for long term stays, whereas a hospital is for an acute issue and is short term - most insurance will only cover 2 weeks in a psychiatric hospital. An institution is more likely to be for a very long term treatment plan, usually more than a month, sometimes a year or more.

Most kids are admitted on the recommendation of their doctors, and after being evaluated by the emergency admissions staff. An institution has a much more arduous admissions process because of how expensive they are and because of how few beds there are available. If you want to watch a documentary that is informative “A Dangerous Son” is good.


Every now and then, a calm, rational individual pops up here on DCUM. Wish we had more like this in these threads.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2025 18:57     Subject: Re:DC dating someone who has been in mental institution
Pretty normal.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2025 18:55     Subject: DC dating someone who has been in mental institution
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:We don't use the term Mental Institution anymore. It's called a psychiatric hospital.


Please don't police other people's speech. OP can use whatever terminology she wants. You knew what she meant.


They aren’t the same thing though. An institution is generally for long term stays, whereas a hospital is for an acute issue and is short term - most insurance will only cover 2 weeks in a psychiatric hospital. An institution is more likely to be for a very long term treatment plan, usually more than a month, sometimes a year or more.

Most kids are admitted on the recommendation of their doctors, and after being evaluated by the emergency admissions staff. An institution has a much more arduous admissions process because of how expensive they are and because of how few beds there are available. If you want to watch a documentary that is informative “A Dangerous Son” is good.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2025 18:46     Subject: DC dating someone who has been in mental institution
I would view it as a red flag, because if they ended up as life partners, it would probably be a difficult and painful road for my child and their potential offspring. And, you cannot stop them from dating, so I don't think there's much you can do about it.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2025 18:37     Subject: DC dating someone who has been in mental institution
Anonymous wrote:We don't use the term Mental Institution anymore. It's called a psychiatric hospital.


And likely the child (because that’s what a MSer is) was not committed. Likely her parents agreed with a recommendation from her doctor to have her admitted on a voluntary basis.

As to whether she will have long term problems, who knows. But seriously there is no perfect partner. I mean I bet even OP’s son has issues that some would judge and find unacceptable.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2025 18:27     Subject: DC dating someone who has been in mental institution
Yikes. Hopefully they fizzle out.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2025 17:00     Subject: Re:DC dating someone who has been in mental institution
Some of my closest friends have tried to kill themselves, or have been in a mental hospital for a stint or two. Lawyers, doctors, teachers, parents - all contributing members of society. You should be happy they got the help they needed and are healthy now.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2025 16:58     Subject: DC dating someone who has been in mental institution
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's a lifelong journey. If she's willing to stay on top of the root causes it can be worth it.
More concerned that DC doesn't know not to share personal information about their partner with mom.


That’s just stigma on your end. It is pretty normal for young adults to talk to their parents about dating and figuring out life challenges and if the partner had some physical illness or injury related hospitalization in their history - you would be horrified that they told you about the car accident or the CF or the diabetes.


Would you be okay with your DH discussing your health information with your MIL?
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2025 16:57     Subject: DC dating someone who has been in mental institution
Anonymous wrote:We don't use the term Mental Institution anymore. It's called a psychiatric hospital.


Please don't police other people's speech. OP can use whatever terminology she wants. You knew what she meant.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2025 16:55     Subject: DC dating someone who has been in mental institution
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:It's a lifelong journey. If she's willing to stay on top of the root causes it can be worth it.
More concerned that DC doesn't know not to share personal information about their partner with mom.


That’s just stigma on your end. It is pretty normal for young adults to talk to their parents about dating and figuring out life challenges and if the partner had some physical illness or injury related hospitalization in their history - you would be horrified that they told you about the car accident or the CF or the diabetes.


Would you be okay with your DH discussing your health information with your MIL?
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2025 16:43     Subject: DC dating someone who has been in mental institution
Typo, i mean Forbid*
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2025 16:41     Subject: DC dating someone who has been in mental institution
It may not be easy for their future, but most time if you for it your kids to not do something just result in the opposite. On the other hand, I think those try to take their own lives, are much better people compared to those want to kill others instead.
Anonymous
Post 12/23/2025 16:19     Subject: DC dating someone who has been in mental institution
Adding to my post above, to the other poster talking about stigma, I think it’s the same if it was any health issue. It’s not really appropriate to be discussing any issue with a parent of someone you are just dating right away. It doesn’t sound serious yet. Maybe except if they have an allergy and you were saying don’t make food for dinner with that in it but that’s about it.