Anonymous wrote:I was at a mixed ages party with a lot of young adults but the guys weren’t going to the women and mingling with them.
Is the culture changed so much young guys are afraid of talking to young women in real life.
I am asking as a middle aged guy.

You say mixed ages party. Does that mean the young people had older family or family friends there? For a guy at a party like that, talking with a woman carries too much commitment. Could they have been staying separate on purpose because they knew you were there watching? Call it Heisenberg's hookup.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean the young women weren't harassed like when you were young?

The horror! They can actually attend parties, eat, drink and chat like actual human beings, without being followed, surrounded, or need to watch their drink the entire time.

Instead, if they're interested in a young man their age, they can go up to him and start a conversation, peer-to-peer.

How sad for them, OP.

But the issue is they don't go up to guys. And guys don't go up to them out of fear, ever though woman naturally expect them the male to approach.

They want guys they're attracted to to come up and talk to them. I think the problem is men have a harder time determining whether they are attractive to women or not, whether due to covid or too much time online or whatever. It's also possible young men are less attractive compared to young men in the past, see studies on testosterone decline, etc.

I haven’t seen the studies, but I’m a 50YO woman, I was out with some girlfriends the other night at a bar that skews young and I actually said to them, thank god I’m not 24 and looking for a man. These guys all looked so unattractive to me - softbodied, pale, with scraggly facial hair (and I love a good beard or goatee)…the women were no prizes either. It’s sad.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean the young women weren't harassed like when you were young?

The horror! They can actually attend parties, eat, drink and chat like actual human beings, without being followed, surrounded, or need to watch their drink the entire time.

Instead, if they're interested in a young man their age, they can go up to him and start a conversation, peer-to-peer.

How sad for them, OP.

But the issue is they don't go up to guys. And guys don't go up to them out of fear, ever though woman naturally expect them the male to approach.

They want guys they're attracted to to come up and talk to them. I think the problem is men have a harder time determining whether they are attractive to women or not, whether due to covid or too much time online or whatever. It's also possible young men are less attractive compared to young men in the past, see studies on testosterone decline, etc.

Men are getting destroyed by women. It’s like a sport. That Lots of those TikTok videos of women making fun or embarrassing men who approach women. It’s a cultural thing now. If you are a young man and you approach a woman you are atypical and an outliner. Most likely have EQ deficiency or something worst,

Anonymous wrote:I was at a mixed ages party with a lot of young adults but the guys weren’t going to the women and mingling with them.
Is the culture changed so much young guys are afraid of talking to young women in real life.
I am asking as a middle aged guy.

It’s a cultural shift that took place because of metoo#, the internet got you videos, pay equity(see dating in Iceland) and women saying they do not want to be bothered by men.

OP, I have two stepsons and they are very socially awkward. I think a lot of it is screens. And that trend is NOT solely covid's fault. They actually had a pretty easy time adapting to covid shutdown because they were already socializing mostly online anyway even before covid. Either doing whatever the teen version of Zoom is or playing videos online together, etc. They barely socialized in person at all throughout their teens.

If I was the mom, I would have put limits on screen time, even if it meant having to take their devices at night or change the wifi password. It's so unhealthy.

Anonymous wrote:I was at a mixed ages party with a lot of young adults but the guys weren’t going to the women and mingling with them.
Is the culture changed so much young guys are afraid of talking to young women in real life.
I am asking as a middle aged guy.

A lot of arrested development and bad advice from toxic Andrew Tate type bros.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean the young women weren't harassed like when you were young?

The horror! They can actually attend parties, eat, drink and chat like actual human beings, without being followed, surrounded, or need to watch their drink the entire time.

Instead, if they're interested in a young man their age, they can go up to him and start a conversation, peer-to-peer.

How sad for them, OP.

But the issue is they don't go up to guys. And guys don't go up to them out of fear, ever though woman naturally expect them the male to approach.

We can worry about that later. For now, less harassment is a win.

Eh, they'll figure it out somehow. A lot of young socializing was awful, as I recall. Maybe they're better off with however they find each other. Older people never understand the younger generation. I remember I used to dread small talk at that age. It wasn't easier because we did it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You mean the young women weren't harassed like when you were young?

The horror! They can actually attend parties, eat, drink and chat like actual human beings, without being followed, surrounded, or need to watch their drink the entire time.

Instead, if they're interested in a young man their age, they can go up to him and start a conversation, peer-to-peer.

How sad for them, OP.

But the issue is they don't go up to guys. And guys don't go up to them out of fear, ever though woman naturally expect them the male to approach.

They want guys they're attracted to to come up and talk to them. I think the problem is men have a harder time determining whether they are attractive to women or not, whether due to covid or too much time online or whatever. It's also possible young men are less attractive compared to young men in the past, see studies on testosterone decline, etc.

Anonymous wrote:You mean the young women weren't harassed like when you were young?

The horror! They can actually attend parties, eat, drink and chat like actual human beings, without being followed, surrounded, or need to watch their drink the entire time.

Instead, if they're interested in a young man their age, they can go up to him and start a conversation, peer-to-peer.

How sad for them, OP.

But the issue is they don't go up to guys. And guys don't go up to them out of fear, ever though woman naturally expect them the male to approach.

Anonymous wrote:What were they doing just hanging out by themselves?

A lot of single people talking with their own circle of buddies.

Yes OP. My niece and nephew are early twenties. Their entire lives have been online, plus high school during covid. They are perfectly nice, successful, well mannered but just being able to make conversational small talk seems really challenging. It’s a face to face skill that has to be learned and practiced.

What were they doing just hanging out by themselves?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What age? I have an 18 year old in high school, and there is a high degree of socialization between genders. My child has many friends of the opposite sex and does things with them solo and in groups.

I do think (perhaps) the kids who were in high school/college during Covid are not at ease socially.

24-29 years old.

Ahh, that age. Yeah, Covid happened to them.

Anonymous wrote:You mean the young women weren't harassed like when you were young?

The horror! They can actually attend parties, eat, drink and chat like actual human beings, without being followed, surrounded, or need to watch their drink the entire time.

Instead, if they're interested in a young man their age, they can go up to him and start a conversation, peer-to-peer.

How sad for them, OP.

Found the lesbian.