I often have a little bit of conflicted feelings around the holidays because they make me think about my childhood (not good) and my parents/siblings (very dysfunctional, major source of stress and sadness). But my immediate family (DH/DD) is wonderful and we spend Christmas at home just us and really put effort into enjoying it and making it wonderful, so usually all that outweighs those difficult feelings about my family of origin.

I am not sure why, but this year it has been much harder. I think because we saw my family in August (we had not visited in a few years) and I am still dealing with the hangover of that experience. And then we did Thanksgiving with my ILs, who have their own issues, and that wound up also being a very stressful holiday for DH and, by extension, me, and just really brought home the degree to which we have no extended family who are a source of love or comfort.

So I'm really struggling. This afternoon I got a package from my mom, a gift for my DD that is honestly rude and hurtful. I know my mom doesn't mean it to be that, but she cannot help it. I opened it and wound up spending the next hour tearfully talking through my feelings with my DH because it raised all these awful memories from childhood and just made me feel so lonely and abandoned. And I still need to call my mom to let her know the gift arrived and to thank her for sending it, and also figure out how or if I will give it to DD and if there is a way to give to her without it feeling like a bummer.

I am still hopeful that the joy of the holiday and my wonderful spouse and kid will win out, but yes, I'm having a hard time.

Anonymous wrote:So sorry you are feeling this way OP 😢…..it could possibly be the state of affairs in our country.

Yup I think this is the reason for my funk. The current climate in our country is downright depressing. The fake MAGA christians spewing so much hate is gross and it feels like we are always teetering on something horrific happening.

Funk this holiday

OP the world is in a crappy place right now.

You are not alone

I wouldn't say funk but house feeling very behind like PPs after saying, and low energy and everything feels like a chore. Throw is work stuff, mundane illnesses, its just being super cold, etc. We have done eat less than usual in returns of decorating events even crafts or books or movies.

We are going on a trip so in viewing that as our holiday thing. But prep for that is taking up time too!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I just don't care. I'm sick of my family and being around all the grumps. Sick of work. Sick of my coworkers. Sick of politics. I just want to go lay on a beach.

This is why people plan trips or cruises for Christmas. For a long time I didn't understand why but now I do.

+100

Me. I'm overwhelmed with medical issues and menopause at the same time
Im drowning.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I normally love all things Christmas. For some reason I'm in a real funk this year. There's nothing bad happening in my life or with my family. I'm simply struggling to feel happy. I'm just going through the motions. Anyone want to commiserate?

There is stuff happening wrong in my life. I will try to get into Christmas soon.

Take the pressure off.

In the past, they decorated the tree Christmas Eve. December is not Christmas. You don’t have to dedicate 30-45 days to Christmas. You can worship Christ any day. You can shop any day. You can be cozy with family, hopefully, or with friends or loved ones.

The only thing I dislike is the calendar training that I couldn’t enjoy shopping on certain days if I wanted. Such as two days before. Or like traffic on Black Friday near my house. Nothing is on sale that wasn’t on sale the whole week. I know employees at the mall next to me and they say all the deals were around for the entire week

Anonymous wrote:I normally love all things Christmas. For some reason I'm in a real funk this year. There's nothing bad happening in my life or with my family. I'm simply struggling to feel happy. I'm just going through the motions. Anyone want to commiserate?

There is stuff happening wrong in my life. I will try to get into Christmas soon.

Take the pressure off.

In the past, they decorated the tree Christmas Eve. December is not Christmas. You don’t have to dedicate 30-45 days to Christmas. You can worship Christ any day. You can shop any day. You can be cozy with family, hopefully, or with friends or loved ones.

I have only sent 8 cards and some cardlike emails. Usually I am long done. Haven't read my favorite holiday stories. Not excited over dinner plans.

Anonymous wrote:Last year we went all out and it was exhausting.

This year we’ve done nothing. Didn’t even get a tree. I told the kids if they wanted one, they would need to get ready and we’d go pick it up. They didn’t feel like getting ready and didn’t really want a tree, so we didn’t get one.

Honestly it’s fine. So much less stress. We plan on just doing a couple nights of hot chocolate and Christmas movies.

I haven't done a tree in a few years and more years since I put out all of my decorations. I like it, it just so much work on top of everything else.

Keep it simple and enjoy it more!

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I just don't care. I'm sick of my family and being around all the grumps. Sick of work. Sick of my coworkers. Sick of politics. I just want to go lay on a beach.

This is why people plan trips or cruises for Christmas. For a long time I didn't understand why but now I do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I always feel like this. Part of it is being Jewish - this season is really all about Christmas and Hanukah is often an afterthought.

But since 2023, nobody wants to acknowledge any jewish holidays because they worry people will think it means they're pro killing Palestinians.

Yesterday I was going to drop off Hanukah gifts across the city, and had to take an Uber because I didn't feel safe being on mass transit with two bags full of Hanukah wrapping paper. Last night I was going to a Vodka and Latke party and wanted to wear my jewish star, and had to try on a bunch of sweaters to find one that covered the star while I was on the train. It sucks. It sucks I have to think this way, and that I'm the fourth generation in my family dealing with discrimination because of our religion.

OP here. I'm truly sorry for all of this. I've tried typing a response and it all sounds so trite. I'm just sorry. I wish no one had to be afraid because of their religion (or any other reason). I hope you and your family have a wonderful holiday.

I agree with OP. I’m sorry as well. My brother in law is Jewish and I’m so glad we have one of God’s Chosen People in my family🕍🕎✡️