I thought I married up, but I didn't. His family of origin is a huge liability. Plus, my own career eventually took off. And where his being older once made him attractive, he's now just starting to seem old. His friends and their wives are old to me. He wants to travel like an old person, instead of doing fun, adventurous things that appeal to the kids and me.

We're at the same level but we both think we married up.

Creepy

My parents have a pretty fancy lifestyle but don't have a whole lot saved. His parents live like they are still in grad school but are worth millions. So...I don't know?

I grew up UMC and dh grew up solidly middle class (had never flown on a plane). My parents paid for our wedding and gave us a downpayment. Surprisingly his parents are wealthier now. They increased their company significantly and sold it for millions. Strange how life works out like that. I doubt we’d inherit anything from either set though, they both seem eager to spend it all.

Anonymous wrote:Both of us, in different ways.

This.

Anonymous wrote:Don’t think this way.

This. There is no “up” if you don’t actually love your spouse.

Don’t think this way.

Anonymous wrote:We were very evenly matched on paper and education. The differences were income and looks (his former, mine latter) and so evened out. However, now that we are divorced, I am looking at how someone is instead of their paper selves.

Wait! So the income and security in your former relationship was balanced by your....looks?!
Wow! So glad he escaped your shallow vain world.

We were very evenly matched on paper and education. The differences were income and looks (his former, mine latter) and so evened out. However, now that we are divorced, I am looking at how someone is instead of their paper selves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both of us, in different ways.

Same

Same same

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not married yet but we’ve been discussing our long term plan lately.
I don’t know who’d be marrying up.

He is older (41), obviously mature, wealthy but he’s divorced and has kids while Im still in my late 20’s, never been marred and don’t any kids yet.

Not mature enough to stay married, apparently.

It was a mutual decision.
They didn’t get along emotionally or money wise.

Anonymous wrote:Not married yet but we’ve been discussing our long term plan lately.
I don’t know who’d be marrying up.

He is older (41), obviously mature, wealthy but he’s divorced and has kids while Im still in my late 20’s, never been marred and don’t any kids yet.

Not mature enough to stay married, apparently.

Not married yet but we’ve been discussing our long term plan lately.
I don’t know who’d be marrying up.

He is older (41), obviously mature, wealthy but he’s divorced and has kids while Im still in my late 20’s, never been marred and don’t any kids yet.

Some of our friends married up or down but looks faded or improved, careers blossomed or didn't reach potential so balance changed but most stayed together, some self centered ones didn't.