Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish people would stop this nonsense of holding kids who are old enough for school unless there is a significant academic reason to do it. My kid graduated from HS with kids who were 16 months older than he was. These kids really should have been in the grade ahead. It wasn't a problem in HS but it was an issue in elementary school.

Seriously? You do you. Let others do what they think is best for them.

dp: We've been through this before on dcum, but...

This issue is everyone else's business because people holding kids back affects the peer group average age for all the other kids. It's a vicious cycle.

Without a particular reason, everyone should send their kids on time. Stop trying to game the system.

If your kid is smart, absolutely send them on time even if youngish. Otherwise, you are doing a disservice to their brain.

It really isn't a big impact. No one is talking about the absurd redshirting that boy parents do in hopes of earning that lax scholarship. We're talking about whether to send an August or September kid to PreK or K one year or the next. Our early September kid needed a bit more time for social development, so she did pre K twice. Maybe she raised the average age of her cohort by a couple of months. She wasn't the oldest nor would she have been the youngest had she not stayed back. It was the right decision for her. In contrast, I was a winter birthday and went "on time" (which meant K as a 4 year old in 1978). That worked fine for me but when they suggested to my parents that I also skip a grade, that was a hard no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wish people would stop this nonsense of holding kids who are old enough for school unless there is a significant academic reason to do it. My kid graduated from HS with kids who were 16 months older than he was. These kids really should have been in the grade ahead. It wasn't a problem in HS but it was an issue in elementary school.

Seriously? You do you. Let others do what they think is best for them.

dp: We've been through this before on dcum, but...

This issue is everyone else's business because people holding kids back affects the peer group average age for all the other kids. It's a vicious cycle.

Without a particular reason, everyone should send their kids on time. Stop trying to game the system.

If your kid is smart, absolutely send them on time even if youngish. Otherwise, you are doing a disservice to their brain.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:June daughter. She went on time. My friends with girls who held back have all regretted it.

Not op, but what about holding did they regret for their daughters?

OP here -- also would love to know why you regret ?

Most girls mature faster. A lot of them felt that they were too mature/advanced relative to their classmates.

Of course this is kid dependent.

This is why we sent our August birthday girl on time. She was mature even as a preschooler -- followed directions, emotionally self aware, patient. We worried holding her back would only ensure she was always in a classroom where most of her peers were behind her in those metrics. No regrets. She's late elementary now and is one of the smallest kids in the grade but that isn't a problem for girls the way it can be for boys, and she'd actually be on the small side even if a year behind because she's just a small human (I am pretty petite).

She's also academically really strong and it is hard to imagine her having been a year behind on academics. Maybe it would have been fine but she's always that kid who is anxious to move in to the next academic challenge, so delaying those challenges seems like it might have led to frustration or boredom.

OP you should consider also whether you plan for single sex or coed. Boy mature (for the most part) later than girls. Being the older girl (and most likely most mature) around boys that are younger in age and even more in maturity would not be fun for her.

Either way, at the privates we have seen, June birthday girls go on time as do July… August is 50-50.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would send a June/July girl on time. Not an August/September girl.

+1. I know it's hard to see it this far out, OP, but... beyond the puberty issue already discussed is having the 18 YO at home for senior year of high school. That is not a good thing. Ask me how I know.

Why not? My September birthday kid (not held back, Sept 1 cut off) was 18 for most of her senior year, and it was fine. She had several opportunities she was only able to take because she was 18.

Late August birthday on time. No issues. I was a late October birthday who started at 4, so didn’t seem like a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:June daughter. She went on time. My friends with girls who held back have all regretted it.

Not op, but what about holding did they regret for their daughters?

OP here -- also would love to know why you regret ?

Most girls mature faster. A lot of them felt that they were too mature/advanced relative to their classmates.

Of course this is kid dependent.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:June daughter. She went on time. My friends with girls who held back have all regretted it.

Not op, but what about holding did they regret for their daughters?

OP here -- also would love to know why you regret ?

I sent my September girl on time. She is an entirely successful HS senior accepted into college for the fall. Holds leadership positions and has been active in high school sports. Every kid is different.

It is really hard to decide. My daughter’s birthday is at the end of June, and she is now in 4th grade. Mentally, I can see that it might be better to hold her back, but physically she has already started early puberty and has very mature preteen thoughts and behavior. So it’s not only about academics, but also about how she will fit into her peer group.

In her class, most of the girls are August or September birthdays, but physically she is already at the same level as they are. I can’t imagine how she would feel if she were still in 3rd grade. She is already reading books like Harry Potter. Math is the only area where I see her thinking is still more at a typical 3rd-grade level.

However, I know that around ages 14–15 she will likely develop at the same pace as her classmates, and we can always hire tutors to help her catch up academically if needed. Right now, I don’t push her. I let her enjoy learning and not worry if she completes some tasks more slowly than her classmates. Our private school is okay with this, and thankfully they are not overly math-oriented.
And honestly, she was ready for kindergarten because of her curiosity and desire to learn. Look at your daughter as a whole, and you will understand. Mine was taller than most of the other kids even in kindergarten, so it made sense for us.

Anonymous wrote:June daughter. She went on time. My friends with girls who held back have all regretted it.

Not op, but what about holding did they regret for their daughters?

Not sure how you know everyone’s birthdays but anyway, my June birthday DD went on time and is doing just fine. She’s in 8th now and has adhd and is still doing well. She’s in 8th has a bestie with an Aug birthday held back so almost a year older, and another close friend with a Sept birthday who started early so is the youngest for her grade.
Assumimg your private lets kids in early as well with Sept birthdays your kid will not be the youngest. Unless you have specific concerns send on time.

June daughter. She went on time. My friends with girls who held back have all regretted it.

I sent my late August girl. I wish I had waited. I realized this was an issue in grade 9. Too late to solve.

I held my late August girl. Would not have held a June kid. July - dunno