It's a thankless task.

Now DH fixes what he wants when he wants it, and I do the same.

Empt nester here. I cook every other day and eat leftovers on day 2. I also make soup, eat it for 2 days and the rest goes in the freezer. My meals are fairly simple, a protein, vegetable and starch. If anyone spouse is ready to retire, insist that they cook 2X a week for the start of retirement.

My kids started being responsible for one meal for the family each every week when they were 8. They had been cooking with me for a couple of years, and had a few things they could make comfortably. Lemme tell you, we ate a lot of pasta for a while!

You don't say how old your kids are, but maybe set the expectation now that someday (soon?) they will carry their share of this chore.

I got so burnt out and overwhelmed by working 2 jobs and raising kids and cooking and cleaning that I stopped cooking 1.5 years ago.

My guy stepped up and started grocery shopping cooking.

Or we order out for the family.

Ordering out has been expensive and life is just now starting to balance out to where I feel strong enough to handle everything plus the cooking again. I'm probably gonna start cooking once a week to start out.

I promise if you just stop cooking no one will die and everyone will adjust.

You need to take care of your self and your mental health first before you can help others.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Amen sister

Its the meal plannnning that is the worst. Thinking about what four other people are going to eat 3 times a day over and over and over again.

You only have to do this once per season and then cook on a rotation. If you really hate it, use a system.

This, and it’s also a good reason to invest in a large freezer and a couple of sets of quality food storage containers that go from freezer to oven or microwave.

Spending a weekend day once a month batch cooking while consuming rom coms or something makes it much less painful. You can build multiple casseroles, lasagnas, etc. and fill the freezer which gives you at least a couple of days per week for a month or more where all you have to do is take something out to the fridge to thaw while you’re working, then warm or cook it when you get home. Nothing to do really but set the table and fill the dishwasher afterward.

Anonymous wrote:Amen sister

Its the meal plannnning that is the worst. Thinking about what four other people are going to eat 3 times a day over and over and over again.

You only have to do this once per season and then cook on a rotation. If you really hate it, use a system.

My husband and I have a cooking schedule whereby he cooks, for instance, Mon. and Friday and I cook Tues., Wed., and Thurs. Then weekends are more flexible. It helps to know that certain days I am will not be the one in the kitchen.

We have always hired cooking out. A personal chef is surprisingly affordable in most countries.

I remember watching my mother do this grind and it was clear how much she hated it. She refused to share the load even as I got to be a teenager and I found that very frustrating. A few times I made sides for meals - I made Yorkshire pudding and a gravy to go with a Sunday roast mom made because I was always reading about them in my Victorian novels and I wanted to know what it was like. My father adored it and my mother was furious because otherwise he generally complained about my mother’s lackluster cooking so I think she resented my skill and pleasure in cooking.

I never married or had kids, but I did cohabitate a couple of times including with kids involved. I do recall being annoyed after busting butt to make a great dish and have a picky child refuse to eat it or an inconsiderate man refuse to express appreciation. Funny how when they cook they always expect a parade and a medal.

I really love to cook and I often think when I’m crafting a dish how lucky I am to be able to make what I like when I want and to not have anyone complain in any way, or limit my ability to explore flavors and spices etc. I fully recognize this is an area where singledom has been a blessing - because I can also choose to have popcorn for dinner if I like and nobody complains about that, either.

I know I’m missing out on some benefits but whenever I feel lonely I remind myself how many of my married/partnered friends feel negative about household chores and especially cooking and I’m grateful for small blessings.

My mom could have written this. She always hated cooking and stopped when I was a teenager. We started doing "pot luck" which basically for me meant scrambled eggs and Ramen every night. When they became empty nester they started eating at restaurants all the time.
Fast forward 20 years, my father ballooned and is now on dialysis. But my mom is perfectly healthy.

Right there with you. I remember when I was younger my mother saying “Do we have to eat again?”. I didn’t really get it then, but I do now!

Cooking for two is the worst, though.

Anonymous wrote:Same! I don't even like to eat. Where is my food pill like they had in the Jetsons? DH does most of the cooking in our house. He's terrible at it and the kids complain bitterly which gets old. I'm at the point where is someone puts something on my plate, i eat it gratefully because I didn't have to cook it.

This is my holy grail.

Teach your kids to cook. By the time they are 7 they should be cooking dinner once a week with just supervision and an adult carrying heavy pots/pans. Why isn't your husband doing any cooking?

I feel you! I have been in charge of meals, grocery, shopping, and cooking for 18+ years. I used to enjoy cooking. I now hate it. The one thing I am looking forward to when the kids are grown is not being in charge of food. I will eat cheese and crackers for dinner and be happy.