My kids are older, but I ask them to make me a list for Christmas and birthdays . . . the understanding being that (1) they may not get everything on the list; and (2) I will throw in a couple of surprises. They get by now that the budget is fairly unlimited, but their lists are generally small and the asks are not extravagant. If your kids are old enough to try this experiment, try it and you may be surprised about what they really want versus what you think they want.

Anonymous wrote:I think holiday gift giving traditions are out of control. So many gifts to teachers, coaches, extended family members, and so on that are simply not necessary and make it harder to meet my financial goals. Its annoying watching from the sidelines while my spouse participates in this.

Right! It's like we're supplementing the salaries of teachers and daycare workers while their companies make $$$. Or in the case of teachers the administrators make so much more.

My dh has coached for 9 seasons and has only ever gotten one gift card, so I don't think it's the norm to gift coaches. I wouldn't worry about it.

I’m not worried about my particular kids. They aren’t into “stuff” and neither am I. They have a small Christmas list.

But our society writ large is crazy for consumption. People love buying crap for the sake of it. So yes, I think it’s a problem and it has nothing to do with Christmas.

Anonymous wrote:We’re doing stockings only this year. Problem is, lots of expensive things fit into stockings lol. It’s at least made us be more intentional and thoughtful in our shopping.

We’ve downsized to stockings only for the adults. But a “nice-ish” stocking gift and it’s just as difficult to come up w ideas.

Anonymous wrote:We don’t go overboard.
We do experience gifts/activities.
We buy gifts for people, or make cookies/fudge for people too who we do together.
We don’t buy new decor or Christmas only clothing that we never wear again

That’s what we try to do also.

Maybe I got lucky, but kids want nothing. Perhaps it helps that they are boys and I've joked since they were young that money didn't grow on trees.
Extended family does cash gifts as they have no time to figure out what someone needs or likes.
This year I put up a garland instead of the tree, but that's for me for the dark nights. Kids don't care. They are busy playing those video games.
I do buy gingerbread cookies, marzipan, and play A Christmas Carol is on loop.
Kids' friends are almost all from well to do families. They have everything they need or would want. Nobody waits for Christmas to buy things.
Taking friends to restaurant and catching up now that all started college, seems to be the thing to do for the older kid. He does work, so he knows how paying $200 stings. He said it's worth it every few months.
Kids are going to EU with aunt, but we are from EU. Not a big deal to go see family. Cheaper than seeing family in FL. They shop like crazy.
They are low on dopamine.

I have a lot of kids to buy for so we focus more on experiences and yeah I definitely hate the consumerism.

We all get to choose what we “train our kids to practice”. If you are concerned about unfettered consumerism, you can make the choice to opt out of it and do as little or as much as much as you want. Have a conversation with your children and establish traditions that are based on your values. Find a faith/belief community that matches your beliefs ( there are communities for most beliefs).

The US has on average 24 sf of retail per person compared to Europe at 4.5 sf per person.
Consumerism is what this country is about.
The Christmas spirit here is about gift buying.

After you actually religious and do your celebrate Christmas as an important holiday to you? We are not and we go on a vacation instead. We tell kids that's the gift. They have winter bdays so some gifts are coming soon enough. It's not cheaper but we really enjoy the experiences.

I think holiday gift giving traditions are out of control. So many gifts to teachers, coaches, extended family members, and so on that are simply not necessary and make it harder to meet my financial goals. Its annoying watching from the sidelines while my spouse participates in this.

We’re doing stockings only this year. Problem is, lots of expensive things fit into stockings lol. It’s at least made us be more intentional and thoughtful in our shopping.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Is anyone else concerned that we are training our kids to practice unfettered consumerism aka 'Christmas shopping'. Other countries manage to have a meaningful Christmas season without buying tons of gifts that no one really needs or even worse going into credit card debt. How do you have a low gift Christmas without your children feeling deprived? How do you break the cycle of consumerism?

What other countries are you referring to? I think you have a fantasy in your head.

This is exactly what I was thinking. OP have you ever watched Miracle on 34th Street? People were worrying about commercialism in 1947. Nothing has changed. I’m a low consumer, but I don’t fret about it.

We try to focus on family - we make cookies and spend time doing things together. And, it's hard, esp in this area.

Our kids have friends who travel to the Caribbean, to Hawaii, to Europe, etc. every break, who receive the latest iPhone every year, and whatever the latest gadget or gift is. We try to keep the gifts low key, a clothing item, a book or two, a game, and some fun little things and one big gift, but bug is a $200, not a phone!

This isn't a rich person's problem. It's a stupid person's problems. I have 20M but have never thought to overdecorate or overbuy at Christmas. That would majorly stress me out - I don't like too much stuff.

We give 1 or 2 gifts to our parents (not siblings), 3-4 for our two children, and 1 gift per person to another family that we share the Holiday with. We have a wreath at the door, and a tree with its baubles. I use the Christmas kitchen towels. We have a nice meal for Christmas Day and New Year's, but nothing very special the other days. We don't host parties. Our favorite outing is going to cut our own Christmas tree. We never did pics with Santa, trawling the mall for gifts, etc. When the kids were little, we'd do the Brookside Gardens Garden of Lights.

For me, and I'm going to say that for most people, keeping it simple is easy and normal. No one in my circle is whining about consumerism, because they don't usually overspend or overdo things. Even though some of them are doing very well. My richest friends spend on travel and hobbies throughout the year, not on more gifts under the tree.