Anonymous
12/08/2025 12:35
Subject: If you divorced when your kids were 5 and under…
Anonymous wrote:Is cheating an acceptable reason to divorce DCUMs?
Yes! Have some dignity and love yourself
Anonymous
12/08/2025 12:12
Subject: If you divorced when your kids were 5 and under…
Anonymous wrote:Cheating IS abuse. Throughout my exhusbands affair, he championed us having another baby. Which then caused me to take a job that was a step down to offset his promotion and the chaos of having two little kids. Then, surprise! He's been cheating. Oh, and it was workplace affair so he lost his job....and is still unemployed. So now I have two little kids and an $80k salary vs our $350k HHI.
Oh, and his AP stalked me and threatened my kids and I. I had to wipe myself from the internet as best as possible, get a restraining order, install home security system.
And SHE was also sleeping with other people during their affair. So I was pregnant and could have contracted who knows what because I was under the impression that I was having monogomous sex with my loving husband.
And then you get the pleasure of going back through your entire life for the last few years and rewritten what you thought you lived vs the reality. The family vacation with your two sandy salt-air curly haired babies? When you were giving them baths and pjs after the beach, he was having video sex in the airbnb bedroom. That 6 month period when he was staying up late "working" every night in the basement to land a big client so you were lovingly making him late night snacks, quietly getting up with the kids in the morning and letting him sleep in, regularly writing him little notes of encouragement about how much you admire his go-getter attitude and are happy to support him? But OH shoot, he was actually up all night on phone calls and having video sex while you soothed your babies back to bed upstairs. Or the Christmas your 4yo asked why Santa forgot a present for mommy when every one else was opening gifts but you shrugged it off due to his stressful work and then find out AP got a big box of gifts.
It goes on and and on. It's all trauma. I have been formally diagnosed with PTSD.
Ugh. So glad you divorced .
Anonymous
12/08/2025 12:01
Subject: If you divorced when your kids were 5 and under…
Anonymous wrote:Cheating IS abuse. Throughout my exhusbands affair, he championed us having another baby. Which then caused me to take a job that was a step down to offset his promotion and the chaos of having two little kids. Then, surprise! He's been cheating. Oh, and it was workplace affair so he lost his job....and is still unemployed. So now I have two little kids and an $80k salary vs our $350k HHI.
Oh, and his AP stalked me and threatened my kids and I. I had to wipe myself from the internet as best as possible, get a restraining order, install home security system.
And SHE was also sleeping with other people during their affair. So I was pregnant and could have contracted who knows what because I was under the impression that I was having monogomous sex with my loving husband.
And then you get the pleasure of going back through your entire life for the last few years and rewritten what you thought you lived vs the reality. The family vacation with your two sandy salt-air curly haired babies? When you were giving them baths and pjs after the beach, he was having video sex in the airbnb bedroom. That 6 month period when he was staying up late "working" every night in the basement to land a big client so you were lovingly making him late night snacks, quietly getting up with the kids in the morning and letting him sleep in, regularly writing him little notes of encouragement about how much you admire his go-getter attitude and are happy to support him? But OH shoot, he was actually up all night on phone calls and having video sex while you soothed your babies back to bed upstairs. Or the Christmas your 4yo asked why Santa forgot a present for mommy when every one else was opening gifts but you shrugged it off due to his stressful work and then find out AP got a big box of gifts.
It goes on and and on. It's all trauma. I have been formally diagnosed with PTSD.
You are definitely a victim
Anonymous
12/08/2025 11:44
Subject: If you divorced when your kids were 5 and under…
Cheating IS abuse. Throughout my exhusbands affair, he championed us having another baby. Which then caused me to take a job that was a step down to offset his promotion and the chaos of having two little kids. Then, surprise! He's been cheating. Oh, and it was workplace affair so he lost his job....and is still unemployed. So now I have two little kids and an $80k salary vs our $350k HHI.
Oh, and his AP stalked me and threatened my kids and I. I had to wipe myself from the internet as best as possible, get a restraining order, install home security system.
And SHE was also sleeping with other people during their affair. So I was pregnant and could have contracted who knows what because I was under the impression that I was having monogomous sex with my loving husband.
And then you get the pleasure of going back through your entire life for the last few years and rewritten what you thought you lived vs the reality. The family vacation with your two sandy salt-air curly haired babies? When you were giving them baths and pjs after the beach, he was having video sex in the airbnb bedroom. That 6 month period when he was staying up late "working" every night in the basement to land a big client so you were lovingly making him late night snacks, quietly getting up with the kids in the morning and letting him sleep in, regularly writing him little notes of encouragement about how much you admire his go-getter attitude and are happy to support him? But OH shoot, he was actually up all night on phone calls and having video sex while you soothed your babies back to bed upstairs. Or the Christmas your 4yo asked why Santa forgot a present for mommy when every one else was opening gifts but you shrugged it off due to his stressful work and then find out AP got a big box of gifts.
It goes on and and on. It's all trauma. I have been formally diagnosed with PTSD.
Oh, and his AP stalked me and threatened my kids and I. I had to wipe myself from the internet as best as possible, get a restraining order, install home security system.
And SHE was also sleeping with other people during their affair. So I was pregnant and could have contracted who knows what because I was under the impression that I was having monogomous sex with my loving husband.
And then you get the pleasure of going back through your entire life for the last few years and rewritten what you thought you lived vs the reality. The family vacation with your two sandy salt-air curly haired babies? When you were giving them baths and pjs after the beach, he was having video sex in the airbnb bedroom. That 6 month period when he was staying up late "working" every night in the basement to land a big client so you were lovingly making him late night snacks, quietly getting up with the kids in the morning and letting him sleep in, regularly writing him little notes of encouragement about how much you admire his go-getter attitude and are happy to support him? But OH shoot, he was actually up all night on phone calls and having video sex while you soothed your babies back to bed upstairs. Or the Christmas your 4yo asked why Santa forgot a present for mommy when every one else was opening gifts but you shrugged it off due to his stressful work and then find out AP got a big box of gifts.
It goes on and and on. It's all trauma. I have been formally diagnosed with PTSD.
Anonymous
12/08/2025 11:30
Subject: If you divorced when your kids were 5 and under…
Anonymous wrote:My gosh, is this a sock puppet? Divorce does not always mess up the kids. I’m sure I would be a different person if my parents hadn’t divorced, and not for the better. It was so much more peaceful when they were apart, and my mom married someone who was very actively involved in my life, and I was able to see what a healthy, happy relationship was like. Obviously people should try to do everything they can to save their marriage, but it’s not always possible.
You are an outlier. You must realize that, right? And no one said divorce is never ever justified, just that it should be a last resort. And a real last resort. Not just ‘oh I think I’d be happier’ or ‘dh did that thing that hurt me and I should divorce over that’. Divorce is recommended way too often on here. If you believe in marriage and commitment and take an oath to that effect, especially with children in the mix, you should be prepared to weather storms and imperfections. Humans are imperfect, they make mistakes, that’s what you’ve signed up for when you marry. Good and bad. Hopefully mostly good.
Anonymous
12/08/2025 11:00
Subject: If you divorced when your kids were 5 and under…
My gosh, is this a sock puppet? Divorce does not always mess up the kids. I’m sure I would be a different person if my parents hadn’t divorced, and not for the better. It was so much more peaceful when they were apart, and my mom married someone who was very actively involved in my life, and I was able to see what a healthy, happy relationship was like. Obviously people should try to do everything they can to save their marriage, but it’s not always possible.
Anonymous
12/08/2025 10:50
Subject: If you divorced when your kids were 5 and under…
^ divorce messes up kids. Do not think otherwise. Some more than others, but it is a negative unless they are witnesses to ongoing abuse or similar. Kids do not care about your personal happiness, people need to stop selfishly pretending they do
Anonymous
12/08/2025 10:48
Subject: If you divorced when your kids were 5 and under…
Anonymous wrote:Is cheating an acceptable reason to divorce DCUMs?
I’m the poster above who said don’t divorce, and honestly it depends. I’ve found that dh will divorce after even one indiscretion by dw, which I think is VERY wrong and selfish. Some dw are like this as well, but not as often. I’ll say that I don’t think cheating should automatically end a marriage, but it should be a big wake up call to BOTH spouses that something is wrong, and there should be immediate steps to fix the relationships, cut off all contact with AP, open devices and accounts until trust is rebuilt, engage in concentrated time together etc.
So no, I don’t see it justifying divorce unless it continues after the above.
Anonymous
12/08/2025 05:17
Subject: If you divorced when your kids were 5 and under…
Anonymous wrote:Is cheating an acceptable reason to divorce DCUMs?
Not on DCUM
Anonymous
12/07/2025 22:32
Subject: If you divorced when your kids were 5 and under…
Is cheating an acceptable reason to divorce DCUMs?
Anonymous
12/07/2025 11:05
Subject: If you divorced when your kids were 5 and under…
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Divorce
My parents did when I was around eight.
One parent moved into vacation home.. The other remained in the family home.
Parents were happier. Cordial. No bitter divorce. Both are remarried w no new children.
Life moves on.
Divorce only works- sort of- when there is plenty of money to go around. Even then, it can still be awful for kids and is considered an ‘adverse childhood experience’ by psychologists.
Op should not divorce unless there is chronic abuse
Ok.Doormat.
Nope, maturity and appreciation for children. Be a grown up.
Anonymous
12/06/2025 21:41
Subject: If you divorced when your kids were 5 and under…
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Divorce
My parents did when I was around eight.
One parent moved into vacation home.. The other remained in the family home.
Parents were happier. Cordial. No bitter divorce. Both are remarried w no new children.
Life moves on.
Divorce only works- sort of- when there is plenty of money to go around. Even then, it can still be awful for kids and is considered an ‘adverse childhood experience’ by psychologists.
Op should not divorce unless there is chronic abuse
Ok.Doormat.
Anonymous
12/06/2025 18:53
Subject: If you divorced when your kids were 5 and under…
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Divorce
My parents did when I was around eight.
One parent moved into vacation home.. The other remained in the family home.
Parents were happier. Cordial. No bitter divorce. Both are remarried w no new children.
Life moves on.
Divorce only works- sort of- when there is plenty of money to go around. Even then, it can still be awful for kids and is considered an ‘adverse childhood experience’ by psychologists.
Op should not divorce unless there is chronic abuse
This
Anonymous
12/06/2025 15:58
Subject: If you divorced when your kids were 5 and under…
Anonymous wrote:Divorce
My parents did when I was around eight.
One parent moved into vacation home.. The other remained in the family home.
Parents were happier. Cordial. No bitter divorce. Both are remarried w no new children.
Life moves on.
Divorce only works- sort of- when there is plenty of money to go around. Even then, it can still be awful for kids and is considered an ‘adverse childhood experience’ by psychologists.
Op should not divorce unless there is chronic abuse
Anonymous
12/06/2025 15:35
Subject: If you divorced when your kids were 5 and under…
Why are you divorcing?