My thanks and appreciation to all who posted here to share their personal grief journey with others. It helps to know we are not alone and what we feel is part of the human experience.

I wish that all of us find some measure of solace, comfort and hope during this holiday season, and all other seasons of our lives ahead.

With deep sincerity,
-OP

Just wanted to offer you my sincere condolences 💐 on your loss & that I hope that you find peace in the New Year OP.

I lost my father early this fall. Didn't spend Thanksgiving with my mom but my sister and I will be with her for Christmas. It'll be weird to not have him there. DH remarked to me that he knew my dad for almost as long as he had his own dad in his life (FIL died when DH was 26).

Sending hugs and warm comfort to those grieving.

One of your siblings will see all the funerals.
One will see none.
And one won’t have any of you at theirs.

Because that’s how life works.

Someone goes first.
Someone goes last.
And someone leaves before anyone is ready.

It’s a strange thing to think about until you realize how real it is.

Within every family, there’s a sibling who will have to bury the others…
a sibling who will never have to feel that pain…
and a sibling who won’t have their brother or sister standing at their funeral because they passed too soon.

It puts life into perspective, doesn’t it?

Anonymous wrote:Lost my mom this year. The pain has been sneaky. It’s been bad lately and I think will get worse before the end of the year.

But, I am grateful for the pain, it reminds me of how much I loved her.

“How lucky are we to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard.”

This doesn’t help as much at first, but as time passes you cherish the happy memories more.

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry to hear of your brother passing. My dad passed unexpectedly last night. He was an avid bird feeder / watcher so I love the idea of doing something bird related over the holiday season. My mom was recently diagnosed with dementia; even though she was in the early stages, she has suffered debilitating back pain for the last year and my dad was her primary caregiver. They just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in August. He was the glue of our family and we are heartbroken.

Oh PP I am so sorry. But I do have a suggestion for you. I got my parents with dementia this and it has brought her so much joy. She watches the birds who visit her everyday and its something we can sit and do together without any pressure of logistics or remembering or talking even.

https://www.bestnest.com/product/ClearView-Window-Bird-Feeder-by-Prime-Retreat?src=froogle&kw=PRT-CLRVW&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=18628543584&gbraid=0AAAAAD_uWF8KcPQ8LqpJJVCN3VOO3WUyx&gclid=Cj0KCQiAosrJBhD0ARIsAHebCNqWldMLQO1qKDv2KwIraLnIxkgprMjexrrWwy5Dbbylud2kXOhnKfoaArOtEALw_wcB

Anonymous wrote:I’m so sorry to hear of your brother passing. My dad passed unexpectedly last night. He was an avid bird feeder / watcher so I love the idea of doing something bird related over the holiday season. My mom was recently diagnosed with dementia; even though she was in the early stages, she has suffered debilitating back pain for the last year and my dad was her primary caregiver. They just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in August. He was the glue of our family and we are heartbroken.

I’m so sorry for your loss.

The holidays are hard.

I lost my grandma over the summer at 38yo which was such a privilege to have her for so long. She was in great mental health til the last day. But that all made things so much harder- shes been my best friend for almost 4 decades.

Three weeks after I lost her, my husband's girlfriend of 3 years appeared and my life completely blew up in every way.

Now I dont have my kids on Christmas.

Its all so much and im so sorry that you are hurting too.

I’m so sorry to hear of your brother passing. My dad passed unexpectedly last night. He was an avid bird feeder / watcher so I love the idea of doing something bird related over the holiday season. My mom was recently diagnosed with dementia; even though she was in the early stages, she has suffered debilitating back pain for the last year and my dad was her primary caregiver. They just celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary in August. He was the glue of our family and we are heartbroken.

Sorry this is a rough time, OP. This is really timely for me—I was just commenting to a friend that I feel like I spent Thanksgiving surrounded by ghosts. I still have my siblings, but the entire older generation is gone and I just feel their absence so much at the holidays. Parents, aunts, uncles…even older neighbors and my parents’ friends are all gone. I think I want to move forward with having a balance of old traditions and things that spark memories but also start new traditions so we aren’t living in the past. Is there a way for you to do that too?

I’m so sorry. I lost my mom in April, and I’m struggling. Between my own grief and worrying about my 92 y/o dad, it’s hard to find moments of joy.