Anonymous
12/03/2025 15:13
Subject: The destination wedding comes for us all eventually, doesn't it?
Anonymous wrote:I got married in France, my home country, and friends/relatives came from other European countries, Asia and the Americas, which was really nice of them.
But I didn't have two weddings. In my opinion, this is what's causing a problem here. You don't feel as obligated to go since you went to the first.
Given that this is mostly for the bride's family, who could not come to the first wedding, I think it's OK for you not to attend.
That requires a lot of money. I think it's very nice the bride is doing this for her family, and it's the couple's choice. I'm sure they know many US relatives won't be able to make it. I think it would be good if op or someone from her family went because it will likely be a bit difficult for her sister if she doesn't speak the language/is one of the only people from her side there.
Anonymous
12/03/2025 15:11
Subject: The destination wedding comes for us all eventually, doesn't it?
This isn't a destination wedding, it's literally where her family lives. A destination wedding would be if they chose Spain because it was fun. They chose Spain because her family is there.
Should they have checked with your family before booking the date? I'm confused why you're bent out of shape that it falls during your daughter's work trip and when you were going to plan a vacation.
Frankly, you're being ridiculous. Go or don't go. It's not a big deal.
Should they have checked with your family before booking the date? I'm confused why you're bent out of shape that it falls during your daughter's work trip and when you were going to plan a vacation.
Frankly, you're being ridiculous. Go or don't go. It's not a big deal.
Anonymous
12/03/2025 15:04
Subject: The destination wedding comes for us all eventually, doesn't it?
I got married in France, my home country, and friends/relatives came from other European countries, Asia and the Americas, which was really nice of them.
But I didn't have two weddings. In my opinion, this is what's causing a problem here. You don't feel as obligated to go since you went to the first.
Given that this is mostly for the bride's family, who could not come to the first wedding, I think it's OK for you not to attend.
But I didn't have two weddings. In my opinion, this is what's causing a problem here. You don't feel as obligated to go since you went to the first.
Given that this is mostly for the bride's family, who could not come to the first wedding, I think it's OK for you not to attend.
Anonymous
12/03/2025 15:01
Subject: The destination wedding comes for us all eventually, doesn't it?
Anonymous wrote:You already went to their wedding. Obligation satisfied. This is just a party.
This
Anonymous
12/03/2025 15:01
Subject: The destination wedding comes for us all eventually, doesn't it?
I would go because it’s such a cool opportunity to get a new international family. But you do you.
Anonymous
12/03/2025 14:56
Subject: The destination wedding comes for us all eventually, doesn't it?
Don’t attend.
Anonymous
12/03/2025 14:50
Subject: The destination wedding comes for us all eventually, doesn't it?
Weddings and funerals, you never regret you went; you might regret you didn't though!
Anonymous
12/03/2025 14:48
Subject: The destination wedding comes for us all eventually, doesn't it?
Anonymous wrote:This isn't about *you*. Don't go.
Was the bride's family included in the original wedding? Give the bride some grace if they missed due to covid.
+1 It's nice that they invited you but no obligation to go. My brother and his wife got married in a small, lovely wedding that we attended, near my parents' home in California. Then a few years later they had a "wedding" in China for her family to attend. None of the US relatives attended the China wedding. That wasn't the point of it. Sounds like this Spain wedding is the same kind of thing.
Anonymous
12/03/2025 14:43
Subject: The destination wedding comes for us all eventually, doesn't it?
You definitely don't have to go to any destination wedding. Here it sounds like the bride's family likely couldn't attend the smaller New England ceremony because of Covid. I am sure she just wants a chance to mark this occasion with her family and anyone else who wants to go. I doubt they expect most people to come from the United States. Do whatever you want and don't overthink it.
Anonymous
12/03/2025 14:30
Subject: The destination wedding comes for us all eventually, doesn't it?
Just wanted to chime in with some sympathy. Particularly for the annoying sister aspect, which I know all too well.
Anonymous
12/03/2025 14:28
Subject: The destination wedding comes for us all eventually, doesn't it?
Go or don’t go. We certainly don’t care.
Anonymous
12/03/2025 14:25
Subject: The destination wedding comes for us all eventually, doesn't it?
Anonymous wrote:Grow up, OP.
You're an aunt. No one cares if you go. You're just hoping we all start dumping on your sister and the bride and groom for wanting to host a fun wedding. And by the way it's NOT a "destination wedding" if the bride's entire family lives there!
It's also not a wedding if they've been married for four years.
Anonymous
12/03/2025 14:24
Subject: The destination wedding comes for us all eventually, doesn't it?
Anonymous wrote:For years, I've heard people complain about destination weddings. My reaction (not usually expressed aloud) has always been -- "So, go or don't go. What's the big deal?" Now I get it. Because .. . get ready for it .... my nephew is getting married next year in Spain. It will undoubtedly be lovely and festive, but, here's the thing; actually, a few things:
1) Four ago he and his lovely wife were married in a small ceremony in beautiful New England during the glory of fall. This was during COVID, so the wedding guest list was limited to about 40 family members who could be relied on to take appropriate health precautions. DH and I attended with our three adult kids. The wedding was super fun with dancing until late into the night. A good time was had by all and nobody got COVID.
2) The wedding in Spain will be attended by most of the bride's family, who live there.
3) The wedding date coincides with a major work-related event for my daughter. She is the only one of us (my nuclear family) who actually wants to attend. DH and I and our other two kids have been planning other travel around the time of the wedding, though nothing is written in cement at this point, so we could go.
4) My sister, the MOG, has been a real PITA recently, annoying the heck out of our nuclear family for reasons that are not related to the wedding and which I will not go into here because that would then require me to take a long walk, touch grass and meditate on the intention of compassion. I am trying very hard to isolate this part of the equation and not make the decision about whether to attend focus on this.
Thoughts (and prayers) are welcome.
They have been married for four years. Go or don't go, depending on whether you want to visit Spain. This is absolutely not an obligatory event.
Anonymous
12/03/2025 14:11
Subject: The destination wedding comes for us all eventually, doesn't it?
Anonymous wrote:Good luck. Send your regrets. Done. It's for her family in Spain. You already attended. This is basically a vow renewal and you have zero obligation to go.
+1, this is a party for her family. You were invited as a courtesy. Just decline. Gift optional, but it would be kind to say something about how much you loved being at their US wedding and you're glad her family and wider circle also get to experience that now.
Anonymous
12/03/2025 14:07
Subject: The destination wedding comes for us all eventually, doesn't it?
It's still not a big deal if you don't go.