Anonymous wrote:If you guys don't get along, I understand why you did the absolute minimum, but I don't think she'll be that chuffed, since... it's the absolute minimum. So, you kept the status quo, I guess. Yeah...?

Yes, texting is basically being passive aggressive and somehow the OP thinks she was the bigger one. I agree with OP- this is really sad. But not for the reason she thinks.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not on good terms with my mother, but I did send her a HB text at 8pm! I expect no response, but feel relieved I did it. Sigh! She is 79….so really sad.

Why, because she is different than you?
Or was it true abuse?

I'm guessing not. Probably something perceived as criticism, etc.

You can call your mother on her birthday. Good grief, grow up. If a birthday text is all you can do, you are harboring some pretty petty grievances.

I recommend you send a card next year to check the box without worrying about whether she will reply!

I couldn't acknowledge any holidays to my mother for years, because so many of the times I did she critiqued the way I did it. "You spelled anniversary wrong - go rewrite it and give it back." "This isn't technically a birthday card because happy birthday isn't printed on it." "That's not the way I taught you to spell Hanukah." And on and on. There was always a problem with whatever card, whatever gift. So in my early 20's, I just ... stopped. Nothing was good enough, so why put in the effort or money? It was like I was paying to get criticized.

So I get it, OP. Maybe next year you can send her a birthday text in the AM? Baby steps!

For those of us that come from dysfunctional and abusive homes, we get it.
Sometimes a happy birthday text is all we are going to do.

Anonymous wrote:What the f is an HB text? Like you couldn’t spell if out, really?

Happy birthday 🎁

Anonymous wrote:What is a HB text?

Happy Birthday text

Anonymous wrote:I am not on good terms with my mother, but I did send her a HB text at 8pm! I expect no response, but feel relieved I did it. Sigh! She is 79….so really sad.

Why, because she is different than you?
Or was it true abuse?

I’m wondering what an HB text is too. I opened the thread expecting it to be I sent my mother a text intended for my husband which was raunchy or something.

Did you literally text her “HB”?

I feel this acutely, OP. I spend hours agonizing about whether I’m going to send a note and it takes incredible mental and emotional effort to actually do so.

What the f is an HB text? Like you couldn’t spell if out, really?

Oh my goodness, can’t we please write out what HB stands for for clarity? You lost a lot of
people at first.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow this is a really low bar for the minimum thing to do. If I were your mother I would jump off a bridge.

Lol, such a troll response.

No I am not a troll. Sorry. Plenty of people deal with family members they don't like or get along with. Do you think other people live in an episode of a TV show? Is that how they manage it? No, they do not. Be a better person. There is nothing else.

Ok, you are a drama queen.