This is the first sign of cognitive decline. Like a PP said before- she is able to do things she knows how to do, but learning new technology is impossible. With my mom it started with the computer. Sometimes it would break. So I’d go over and it just needed to be turned on. Then came an inability to understand a TV remote. She will probably never be able to understand how to navigate whatever technology you are trying to teach her.

You need to do it for her! She should give you the credentials. I am sure she is faking it too, since she can shop.
Maybe shopping should go away too

I was going to respond to this and tell you how similar my mom is. I couldn’t even get the first two examples without getting stressed out so I had to delete it.

My in-laws are a little funnier. They share an Apple ID and their phone numbers get mixed up so you never know who is texting or calling.

How old is she?

What would happen if you just stopped trying to help her? If she asks you can just find ways to put her off. This way she will either figure it out herself, get so frustrated she will allow someone else to help her, or find a non-tech solution.

Maybe try being a little kinder and more patient.Someday you will be her age, hopefully, and will understand. I am sure there were many times when she helped you. Now it is your turn.

Sorry to hear of your issues, and I agree, it can be frustrating.

I'm lucky in a way in that my Mom, who is 77, is really good with tech. She is all Apple - phone, watch, iMac, etc. She makes appointments at the genius bar if she really needs help with something.

My Dad who is older will use the computer to check email and surf around a bit, but does nothing else tech related, which is good. He has a flip phone with some prepaid minutes for emergency use.

My wife finally got control of her Mom's accounts and is handling things for her because she was very much the "where do I enter my username" type. Wife managed to lock down her phone as well since she managed to superzoom the home screen multiple times so that nothing would show up.

Good Luck!

Drop the electronics. Have her call each doctor or do a 3 way call to each with you on the line and tell them she will not use the portal. Please use phone and paper mail.

Portals are handy but maddening. I do DH's for him.

Ask one of your kids to help her instead of you

She can call the doctors like she has for the last 64 years.

If she only wants your help and can’t make it easy for you, she gets no more help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:have her send you a picture of the screen. you can mark it up -- "enter user name here" -- and send it back.

This concept frustrates her too much. She takes twenty minutes to send one picture, and then she claims she’s too stressed to continue.

And yet you think there aren't cognitive issues?

The shopping sites probably keep her logged in. I would drop trying to help her with anything that she doesn't absolutely need to do online. It sounds really frustrating.