Anonymous
12/03/2025 22:58
Subject: How to politely tell family to cut down on the Christmas presents
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the thoughtful replies. Yesterday I messaged my west coast family that we are planning to just send one or two small gifts for the family this year due to all the moving and stress, and I haven't heard anything back, so maybe they already have all our presents already and were offended...? I don't know, but either way now they know that we're not going all out this year and can plan accordingly, whatever that looks like. For our in-state relatives that we celebrate with in person, I'll let them know soon that we're paring down, esp. for the adults. Everyone in that family is very last-minute so I don't think they've gotten anything yet.
You need to message them NOW, because even though they're last-minute, maybe this year is the year they decided to correct that.
Anonymous
12/03/2025 22:54
Subject: How to politely tell family to cut down on the Christmas presents
Years ago, we switched to a secret Santa model with the middle generation. Names are drawn at Thanksgiving. I suggest this approach. Kids and grandparents still get gifts from everyone.
Anonymous
12/03/2025 19:10
Subject: How to politely tell family to cut down on the Christmas presents
Adults buying presents for other adults is really lame. Everyone has access to same stores.
Yay, a pair of slippers! Something I couldn't afford or find online!!!
Yay, a pair of slippers! Something I couldn't afford or find online!!!
Anonymous
12/03/2025 19:06
Subject: How to politely tell family to cut down on the Christmas presents
Christmas has turned so freaking commercial. Why are there so many gifts???
Thanksgiving so simple. Eat, drink and hang w fam. No Amazon plastic junk swapping
Thanksgiving so simple. Eat, drink and hang w fam. No Amazon plastic junk swapping
Anonymous
12/03/2025 14:48
Subject: How to politely tell family to cut down on the Christmas presents
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the thoughtful replies. Yesterday I messaged my west coast family that we are planning to just send one or two small gifts for the family this year due to all the moving and stress, and I haven't heard anything back, so maybe they already have all our presents already and were offended...? I don't know, but either way now they know that we're not going all out this year and can plan accordingly, whatever that looks like. For our in-state relatives that we celebrate with in person, I'll let them know soon that we're paring down, esp. for the adults. Everyone in that family is very last-minute so I don't think they've gotten anything yet.
That’s all good, but did you also tell them that you would appreciate a small gift because of all of the moving?
If you didn’t, it’s not clear in the email. You might still get lots of presents.
Anonymous
12/03/2025 14:19
Subject: How to politely tell family to cut down on the Christmas presents
I did this but let everyone know at the beginning of October so no one had started shopping yet. Got some pushback from a few but otherwise, people were understanding.
Anonymous
12/03/2025 14:16
Subject: How to politely tell family to cut down on the Christmas presents
The ones that already bought you gifts will give them to you and you will feel like a mooch for waiting until the last minute to make a change in the tradition.
Anonymous
12/02/2025 19:03
Subject: How to politely tell family to cut down on the Christmas presents
Honestly, it won’t work. Some people feel the need to buy stuff. I tried this with my extended family and it literally made no difference. Frustrating.
Anonymous
12/02/2025 18:53
Subject: How to politely tell family to cut down on the Christmas presents
Anonymous wrote:OP here. Thanks for the thoughtful replies. Yesterday I messaged my west coast family that we are planning to just send one or two small gifts for the family this year due to all the moving and stress, and I haven't heard anything back, so maybe they already have all our presents already and were offended...? I don't know, but either way now they know that we're not going all out this year and can plan accordingly, whatever that looks like. For our in-state relatives that we celebrate with in person, I'll let them know soon that we're paring down, esp. for the adults. Everyone in that family is very last-minute so I don't think they've gotten anything yet.
If you were my family member, I wouldn't be offended but irritated that you didn't mention this earlier since I already bought your gifts since it is December.
Anonymous
12/02/2025 12:44
Subject: How to politely tell family to cut down on the Christmas presents
OP here. Thanks for the thoughtful replies. Yesterday I messaged my west coast family that we are planning to just send one or two small gifts for the family this year due to all the moving and stress, and I haven't heard anything back, so maybe they already have all our presents already and were offended...? I don't know, but either way now they know that we're not going all out this year and can plan accordingly, whatever that looks like. For our in-state relatives that we celebrate with in person, I'll let them know soon that we're paring down, esp. for the adults. Everyone in that family is very last-minute so I don't think they've gotten anything yet.
Anonymous
12/02/2025 12:31
Subject: How to politely tell family to cut down on the Christmas presents
Do secret santa for the adults. For kids, I say spoiling is fine. Especially as they get to teens it actually becomes a great thing if you establish a list of needs and wants as things get more expensive and useful.
Anonymous
12/02/2025 12:08
Subject: How to politely tell family to cut down on the Christmas presents
I would make these boundaries in early Fall. Some people are done shopping be December.
We actually started "no gifts" years ago and there was so much push-back and protest, but once everyone adjusted it has been MUCH better. It also shows out kids what holidays are about-experiences, positive memories, the family you enjoy, good food, giving back and relaxation. We have one relative who ignores it, but she is a boundary stomper in general who tries to buy love while treating people like trash. The kids see right through it. Treating people with kindness is a gift-we don't need stuff and stress.
We actually started "no gifts" years ago and there was so much push-back and protest, but once everyone adjusted it has been MUCH better. It also shows out kids what holidays are about-experiences, positive memories, the family you enjoy, good food, giving back and relaxation. We have one relative who ignores it, but she is a boundary stomper in general who tries to buy love while treating people like trash. The kids see right through it. Treating people with kindness is a gift-we don't need stuff and stress.
Anonymous
12/02/2025 11:21
Subject: How to politely tell family to cut down on the Christmas presents
I haven’t had success with getting relatives to stop buying. My relatives feel strongly about treating all the grandchildren/niblings equally and object to giving my kids less.
I have had success getting them to give more consumable or experience gifts, or replacements for things they have (e.g. a new bike and we then hand down/donate/sell the old one) or things they “need” (e.g. soccer cleats which aren’t really a need but we would have bought anyway.
I have had success getting them to give more consumable or experience gifts, or replacements for things they have (e.g. a new bike and we then hand down/donate/sell the old one) or things they “need” (e.g. soccer cleats which aren’t really a need but we would have bought anyway.
Anonymous
12/02/2025 11:16
Subject: How to politely tell family to cut down on the Christmas presents
Ugh. I hadn't thought about the people who buy way in advance of Christmas. Maybe some of them have already bought your presents, OP.
Anonymous
12/02/2025 11:13
Subject: How to politely tell family to cut down on the Christmas presents
Secret Santa.