Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I cannot tell you how many people give me dirty looks or huff about the cost when I tell them I use instacart for a majority of my grocery shopping. Yes you are paying for convenience but it saves me so much time every single week. Since you have small kids who probably aren’t eating a ton-You could do one of the meal services that delivers meals ready to heat and eat. This is the time to do it because once you need 4 full meals for your family it really becomes insanely expensive and not worth it-But it’s probably very worth it now (I wish we could still do this but we have 2 teen boys that eat a ton). And as others have said-get a new/second cleaner and be very clear about what you want them to do right from the beginning.

Just a tip - switch to Giant Delivers. MUCH less expensive. That all happens in the warehouse, efficiently, rather than paying a person to actually shop like a consumer. Not efficient.

I actually use instacart for other grocery stores-giant is typically the one I go to in person because that’s also where I get our medications for the family. I like instacart because it has so many different stores-so don’t want to be tied to just one. the biggest advantage is that it has costco so I don’t have to go!

Anonymous wrote:I cannot tell you how many people give me dirty looks or huff about the cost when I tell them I use instacart for a majority of my grocery shopping. Yes you are paying for convenience but it saves me so much time every single week. Since you have small kids who probably aren’t eating a ton-You could do one of the meal services that delivers meals ready to heat and eat. This is the time to do it because once you need 4 full meals for your family it really becomes insanely expensive and not worth it-But it’s probably very worth it now (I wish we could still do this but we have 2 teen boys that eat a ton). And as others have said-get a new/second cleaner and be very clear about what you want them to do right from the beginning.

Just a tip - switch to Giant Delivers. MUCH less expensive. That all happens in the warehouse, efficiently, rather than paying a person to actually shop like a consumer. Not efficient.

Anonymous wrote:We both work demanding and rewarding jobs, and we have a baby and a toddler.

We have a wonderful nanny 8-5 M-F and she is great about picking up after our kids - we don’t want to ask more of her.

We have a weekly cleaner who does cleaning but nothing else (she is also a bit unreliable).

Outside of work, we want our time to be spent with our kids, and on special work and family projects - not washing bottles / doing dishes / cleaning high chair / laundry / house work and yard work / etc. (And it would be amazing to have any time for ourselves too!).

Those of you who have multiple kids and demanding careers - what help has worked well for you? And how do you not make it feel like you constantly have employees in your home?

(Please don’t say we shouldn’t have two kids or someone has to stay home - we like our life, we just want more time. Thanks).

-You could increase the cleaning to twice per week and do Monday/Thursday or Monday/Friday

-You could hire a gardening company for yardwork

-Do more 2:1 activities so you get breaks for personal time (if one or both kids nap use this time)

-Accept if you want a clean home and yard and don’t want to do the work that the people doing the work for you will be present in your home (you can plan not to be there when they are, but there will probably be overlap).

-Reframe your expectations. I understand the exhaustion that comes from cleaning up but your kid seeing you clean or helping you clean or helping you garden or fold laundry may help them respect the work that goes into keeping your household running and everything isn’t always going to be fun.

I have three kids and my youngest is almost 2.5. The baby/toddler phase is physically tough, but the mental load as the kids get older has been harder for me to navigate because it’s harder to outsource.

When I worked a demanding job, we had a nanny from 8-5 and a weekly cleaning lady. Nanny did kid laundry and picked up after kids, but no other chores. Cleaning lady did all heavy cleaning and washed our sheets every other week. In addition, we had a "housekeeper" who came about 8 hours a week -- she did things like prepped dinners, received and put away our weekly grocery delivery, various loads of laundry, random projects like seasonal clean out of kids closets or organizing spaces, occasionally ran errands, etc. It was helpful and within our budget. Not sure why everyone is losing their damn minds.

Anonymous wrote:Teach your kids to clean. Have them do it with you. You will thank yourself later.

Yeah put that toddler and baby to work!!

I cannot tell you how many people give me dirty looks or huff about the cost when I tell them I use instacart for a majority of my grocery shopping. Yes you are paying for convenience but it saves me so much time every single week. Since you have small kids who probably aren’t eating a ton-You could do one of the meal services that delivers meals ready to heat and eat. This is the time to do it because once you need 4 full meals for your family it really becomes insanely expensive and not worth it-But it’s probably very worth it now (I wish we could still do this but we have 2 teen boys that eat a ton). And as others have said-get a new/second cleaner and be very clear about what you want them to do right from the beginning.

Grocery delivery (we use Giant Delivers, strong recommend)

Yard service

Laundry Service (we used Rinse) can be helpful (we use it postpartum for a few months each time) and they pickup and deliver. You do still have to gather all the laundry and then pull out stuff that can't go through regular wash, and you still have to do sheets and towels, and then you've gotta sort and put it away, so for me it wasn't really worth it long term.

Handyman on retainer! This is my dream. I actually saw it posted on DCUM once and if my ship ever comes in, this is what I'm doing. Someone who can come once a month for a day and take care of all the little crap that breaks or needs fixing. Change lightbulbs, do seasonal changes, touch up paint, hang pictures... I could easily fill 4-8 hours a month and it'd be such a luxury!

Also, as someone who had 2 under 2, you're just in the thick of it right now. The most important thing to do is to each be able to watch both kids, solo, while they're both awake. That's the only way to get breaks. It's so hard at first but it gets easier, and that's the path to sanity.

Also - sleep training/schedules/sleep hygiene. When both kids are asleep for 11+ hours a night, you've got WAY more bandwidth.

Good luck!

Anonymous wrote:Instacart, pick up dry cleaner service and lawn service.

For the tidying up things I would really recommend getting your kids in the habit of helping you earlier. Toddlers love splashing around water! Hand them a spray bottle and they are in heaven. I did this incredibly inconsistently because I had mommy guilt and felt the need to do all sorts of special things and make every moment I was with them memorable. But at some point realized I was raising kids who had a terrible attitude about being responsible for their own lives and home and repeatedly the pattern that really annoyed me that my husband was solely expected to do academics and “get ahead” only growing up and seems to somehow believe that household tasks are optional. It’s been a ton of work to introduce the idea that we are all responsible for our home and everyone helps but it’s getting much better. I actually have great conversations with my kids while folding laundry and we talk about strategies to make boring things like chores more pleasant (listen to music, time yourself etc).

We still have a once a month cleaner and my kids’ appreciation for her has skyrocketed since they became responsible for more of their own stuff.

I also make them come to the store with me at least once every other month so they appreciate how much time using Instacart saves.

Instacart, pick up dry cleaner service and lawn service.

For the tidying up things I would really recommend getting your kids in the habit of helping you earlier. Toddlers love splashing around water! Hand them a spray bottle and they are in heaven. I did this incredibly inconsistently because I had mommy guilt and felt the need to do all sorts of special things and make every moment I was with them memorable. But at some point realized I was raising kids who had a terrible attitude about being responsible for their own lives and home and repeatedly the pattern that really annoyed me that my husband was solely expected to do academics and “get ahead” only growing up and seems to somehow believe that household tasks are optional. It’s been a ton of work to introduce the idea that we are all responsible for our home and everyone helps but it’s getting much better. I actually have great conversations with my kids while folding laundry and we talk about strategies to make boring things like chores more pleasant (listen to music, time yourself etc).

We still have a once a month cleaner and my kids’ appreciation for her has skyrocketed since they became responsible for more of their own stuff.

Anonymous wrote:We both work demanding and rewarding jobs, and we have a baby and a toddler.

We have a wonderful nanny 8-5 M-F and she is great about picking up after our kids - we don’t want to ask more of her.

We have a weekly cleaner who does cleaning but nothing else (she is also a bit unreliable).

Outside of work, we want our time to be spent with our kids, and on special work and family projects - not washing bottles / doing dishes / cleaning high chair / laundry / house work and yard work / etc. (And it would be amazing to have any time for ourselves too!).

Those of you who have multiple kids and demanding careers - what help has worked well for you? And how do you not make it feel like you constantly have employees in your home?

(Please don’t say we shouldn’t have two kids or someone has to stay home - we like our life, we just want more time. Thanks).

There are a few options. One is to get a more reliable weekly cleaner and add another day to the job to add in more duties - like laundry, grocery shopping or meal prep.
The other is to become more efficient. Things like:
Do a load of laundry everyday. Put it in the morning, have the nanny swap it to the dryer. Fold and put way as part of the night time after meal clean up.
Meal plan and order groceries to be picked up. When you cook, cook a double recipe and put half in the freezer. Have theme nights (Meatless Monday, taco Tuesday, it’s fish on Wednesday, chicken on Thursday, pizza Friday, go out on Saturday, breakfast for dinner on Sunday). Make enough for leftovers for your lunches.
Ask your nanny if she or a friend would like to sit on Saturday night so you and DH can have a date night - try once a month and see if you can’t get to twice a month.
Review your bills once a month
Hire out mowing and lawn maintenance

Have each of you make a list of what you do each week and see if there needs to be some shifting around.

Also, the bottle washing will end soon.

Teach your kids to clean. Have them do it with you. You will thank yourself later.

It sounds like you need a better cleaner.

I think baby + toddler is probably the most intense combination and the most expensive combination, but it's only a short period.

Anonymous wrote:We both work demanding and rewarding jobs, and we have a baby and a toddler.

We have a wonderful nanny 8-5 M-F and she is great about picking up after our kids - we don’t want to ask more of her.

We have a weekly cleaner who does cleaning but nothing else (she is also a bit unreliable).

Outside of work, we want our time to be spent with our kids, and on special work and family projects - not washing bottles / doing dishes / cleaning high chair / laundry / house work and yard work / etc. (And it would be amazing to have any time for ourselves too!).

Those of you who have multiple kids and demanding careers - what help has worked well for you? And how do you not make it feel like you constantly have employees in your home?

(Please don’t say we shouldn’t have two kids or someone has to stay home - we like our life, we just want more time. Thanks).

Umm you are outsourcing childcare and cleaning what else are you looking to outsource? Theres not much left besides laundry and yard work plus hanging out with the kids. Cooking can be simplified. You could do LS meal or get a chef to batch cook. Bottles get a bottle sanitizer or have the nanny do it during nap time.

I would get a different cleaner and put it in the contract to run sheets through the washer while they are there. They should be able to start a load of sheets, put it in the dryer, and start another load of sheets while they are cleaning the house. Then you just put the second load in the dryer.

There are companies that do both yard work and handyman stuff. Blue Collar Scholars is one example.