Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In my personal experience, the men who lose touch with their older children are pretty selfish and have been very toxic to the children's mothers.

The new family is an opportunity for them to start fresh.

The new wife and new kids don’t want to deal with the older set of kids and other mother/ex wife. No time either. The father needs to set aside time and attention.

And the dad usually has very limited time and attention. If he has two sets of kids, even if he’s a high earner, he’s probably still working a lot to support them. And he’s also usually no spring chicken at this point.

Anonymous wrote:In my personal experience, the men who lose touch with their older children are pretty selfish and have been very toxic to the children's mothers.

The new family is an opportunity for them to start fresh.

The new wife and new kids don’t want to deal with the older set of kids and other mother/ex wife. No time either. The father needs to set aside time and attention.

Anonymous wrote:My dad did this to my older half-sister. From stories I’ve heard, his ex and my mom didn’t get along and my mom wasn’t kind to his daughter so she stopped coming around before I was even born. Ultimately, my dad could have put his foot down if he really wanted to so the blame lies with him. Men are loyal to the woman they’re currently sleeping with.

“Men” are “loyal” to those who still believe in their ego and image facade. Or at least put up with it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People do it. I don’t date men who are crappy fathers.

+1 forget height or money, how you treat your children is a key indicator of who you are.

Disney Dads with money are the best!

Anonymous wrote:Social media is not a true indicator of what is going on in someone's life, OP.

Absolutely. and if you read the comment I posted above to someone else who said something similar-one of the examples lives near me and i’ve seen it firsthand. And although I agree with you, it’s also pretty weird to post pictures of everything else and your whole family and just leave this person out completely. Some of you mentioned that it could be the ex doesn’t want the kid on social media. Sure, that’s possible but I don’t think that’s true 100% of the time in these situations.

Social media is not a true indicator of what is going on in someone's life, OP.

We dad is very low contact with all three of his daughters since my mom died 11 years ago. Honestly, he is a high functioning alcoholic with a ton of issues. He is a lot like Donald trump. The world revolves around him and he has no interest in other people. He only care about his kids to the extent we make him look good. So he can brag about it where we went to school or what jobs we have. He makes zero effort to see either of my sisters who live out of state. He knows nothing about our lives or the grandkids lives. Every story he tells is some fake self deprecating nonsense where he is always the hero.

He is actually charming and charismatic and if you didn’t have to grow up with him, you love him. To us, he is a train wreck and we are generally all fine being very low contact.

I know two fathers like this and in both cases the oldest child lives in father’s home country.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't put much stock on what is posted on social media. That's what you're going off.

One of the people I am talking about lives in my neighborhood. And we are acquaintances. I have physically seen them with this child on 2 occasions (during the once a year visits) and the parents and I had a whole conversation one time while he was standing there without them ever mentioning who this kid was. It was the most bizarre thing. The only reason I knew is because the mom had mentioned it 1x many years prior.

So not just social media.

Why didn't you just say, "Hi! I'm Lauren, what's your name?" Some people are terrible at introducing people.

Because I thought it would be super awkward for everyone involved-especially the kid.

1. One of my best friends growing up realized when her dad died he had kids to previous marriage she’d never heard about or seen until they showed up at funeral. She was wealthy and these kids were poor. It made her see her dad in a whole new light.
2. My own husband walked out and has no relationship with our kids. No contact. Just weird. Remarried and his social media is full of his stepkids.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't put much stock on what is posted on social media. That's what you're going off.

One of the people I am talking about lives in my neighborhood. And we are acquaintances. I have physically seen them with this child on 2 occasions (during the once a year visits) and the parents and I had a whole conversation one time while he was standing there without them ever mentioning who this kid was. It was the most bizarre thing. The only reason I knew is because the mom had mentioned it 1x many years prior.

So not just social media.

Why didn't you just say, "Hi! I'm Lauren, what's your name?" Some people are terrible at introducing people.

My uncle has done this.

Basically if the kids go with the mom and dad get remarried, the dad usually drops his first kids except for the court mandated child support. At least in my working class hometown.

Anonymous wrote:In my personal experience, the men who lose touch with their older children are pretty selfish and have been very toxic to the children's mothers.

The new family is an opportunity for them to start fresh.

Yes that’s my exH. He and our 19 yo son don’t talk. Son called him on his BS playing house with AP and her two young kids . They haven’t spoken in months.
And yes he was very toxic towards me during marriage and was beating up son for which I divorced him

My grandsons father went and got married and had 4 other children. He left when he was 3 and appeared when my grandson was 13 and then blamed a 13 year old for not keeping in contact with him enough. He said he needed to protect his own feelings. He visited 3 times and never brought his other kids to meet there brother. He's now disappeared again.

In my personal experience, the men who lose touch with their older children are pretty selfish and have been very toxic to the children's mothers.

The new family is an opportunity for them to start fresh.