OP, it sounds like you don't want him to go to Mizzou and it's ok to feel that way. My mom does this stuff ALL the time: feels a certain way or wants a certain thing but over-explains and goes to great lengths to convince people that she doesn't want it or that someone else wants it or whatever. It's super transparent and cringey. Stop doing this. Just admit it's not the school you want him to pick, you're worried he will pick it, and you're going to have to decide based on your own family dynamics if that's something you want to share with him.

Anonymous wrote:Did not see this coming.

I soon expect my DS to be accepted into 2 T15 schools, and prior to starting applications, these were his goals.

Partly from interest at this point in his life, partly to evaluate campus vibes, this also ended up being the college football season he paid attention to and watched many games. On a whim, he applied to Mizzou, UGA and Auburn. He's been accepted into Auburn and Mizzou.

Mizzou is love bombing him. Phone calls from the admissions office to check in, automail, handwritten letters from local alumni, invitations for local lunch and meetups, etc. Every day there's a letter or package in the mailbox from Mizzou.

While he awaits his target schools decisions we see it's affected his perspective. What went from "Mizzou looks like a fun place" is being replaced with "I would be the top student in their EE program" and "you could save tuition for my grad school".

We have no qualms about where he attends, but worry the college loving you back trope is negatively affecting his perception. We armed ourselves mentally for rejections, but not for safety schools going hard on marketing.

Anyone else navigating this? We don't have problems if he decided to attend Mizzou, but don't want love fog to be the reason.

What a strange VBA. Why is this something to “manage?”

Anonymous wrote:There’s no helping a parent who starts a post with, “I soon expect my DS to be accepted into 2 T15 schools.”

😂 100%

If Harvard was doing this, OP would be posting here bragging about how their kid was a top recruit.

It’s only manipulative love bombing because the parent thinks the school is inferior to what their kid “deserves”.

First step….stop bragging and borrowing trouble. Good grief.

Anonymous wrote:Did not see this coming.

I soon expect my DS to be accepted into 2 T15 schools, and prior to starting applications, these were his goals.

Partly from interest at this point in his life, partly to evaluate campus vibes, this also ended up being the college football season he paid attention to and watched many games. On a whim, he applied to Mizzou, UGA and Auburn. He's been accepted into Auburn and Mizzou.

Mizzou is love bombing him. Phone calls from the admissions office to check in, automail, handwritten letters from local alumni, invitations for local lunch and meetups, etc. Every day there's a letter or package in the mailbox from Mizzou.

While he awaits his target schools decisions we see it's affected his perspective. What went from "Mizzou looks like a fun place" is being replaced with "I would be the top student in their EE program" and "you could save tuition for my grad school".

We have no qualms about where he attends, but worry the college loving you back trope is negatively affecting his perception. We armed ourselves mentally for rejections, but not for safety schools going hard on marketing.



Anyone else navigating this? We don't have problems if he decided to attend Mizzou, but don't want love fog to be the reason.

If he is truly a top student, he will NOT need grad school or he will need phD, which is free (tuition and fees free plus a generous living stipend of 45-55k for most T20 Engineering phDs, and ability to apply for additional funding).
Masters in Engineering are never needed from true top schools, and certainly not for top students. A BSE will get top jobs from top schools.
PhD is for those who want access to jobs not available with BSE: research and development roles in private industry labs, national labs, more. phD programs accept US students directly from undergrad for stem, especially engineering phd, and especially from top undergraduate E programs (Top-7 publics for Engineering or Top-20 privates). Can Mizzou provide access to top jobs that Berkeley/ivy/GT/MIT kids get without the masters? Does Mizzou send E students directly to phD or do very few get in and have to pay for masters first?

Look at summer opportunities too. Almost every Engineering kid gets paid internships at top undergrad programs, many after sophomore year. At top industry or research internships that we have seen, about 2/3 of students are from Top-20 privates/Top7 publics, with an outsized portion from ivy+/MIT/CMU/UCB. 1/3 are from everywhere else. Summer resume building is key for getting the best job with a BSE as well as landing T20 phD programs .

Your kid isn’t that special.

It’s not personal. They want your $. Your kid could be one of any other talented HS seniors.

I never once thought like you. Good grief. And my kid turned down a T10 and several T20s.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It’s called recruitment.


It’s not “love bombing,” which is a behavior used by in abuse.

If they start sending you abusive and controlling texts after you reject them…then perhaps you need to worry.

No school does that.

Anonymous wrote:Did not see this coming.

I soon expect my DS to be accepted into 2 T15 schools, and prior to starting applications, these were his goals.

Partly from interest at this point in his life, partly to evaluate campus vibes, this also ended up being the college football season he paid attention to and watched many games. On a whim, he applied to Mizzou, UGA and Auburn. He's been accepted into Auburn and Mizzou.

Mizzou is love bombing him. Phone calls from the admissions office to check in, automail, handwritten letters from local alumni, invitations for local lunch and meetups, etc. Every day there's a letter or package in the mailbox from Mizzou.

While he awaits his target schools decisions we see it's affected his perspective. What went from "Mizzou looks like a fun place" is being replaced with "I would be the top student in their EE program" and "you could save tuition for my grad school".

We have no qualms about where he attends, but worry the college loving you back trope is negatively affecting his perception. We armed ourselves mentally for rejections, but not for safety schools going hard on marketing.

Anyone else navigating this? We don't have problems if he decided to attend Mizzou, but don't want love fog to be the reason.

Big talker aren't you?

Anonymous wrote:Going to vote for this post as top 5 navel-gazing posts of all time.

Yup.

With two classic DCUM side-orders: MUD (made up drama) and borrowing problems from the future (future-casting).

OP - It sounds like your primary worry here is that your kid will screw up his life by making a bad decision for the wrong reasons.

Pause and think about that for a minute.

What does that say about you and your own sense of anxiety and control?

In the meantime, rather than reacting to his every thought or comment, hit pause on your worries and wait for the rest of his options to come in.

You’ll have plenty of time to help him sort this out then, assuming he even needs your help.

Anonymous[b wrote:]It’s called recruitment.[/b]


It’s not “love bombing,” which is a behavior used by in abuse.

IT's also called "Marketing 101" to preserve or increase yield numbers, which are reported to USNWR.

My Sophomore kid still gets "it's not too late, you can transfer here!" mail from a love bomb school.

It's marketing and automated. I got love bombed as Dear Future Spartan by Michigan State. Did not go.

Pottery Barn keeps love bombing me! It makes me second guess wanting things from Crate and Barrel. How do I deal with this?

It’s promotional material and activity. That’s it.

I don’t understand the use of the word “trope” here, either.

Going to vote for this post as top 5 navel-gazing posts of all time.