Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would just respond consistently with "Sorry, we are busy at that time". I would not say any thing or otherwise engage - Just move on.

This. The one thing I might do is through out invites when we are headed somewhere: “ hey, we’re going to open swim at the gym tomorrow at 10:00. Love for you to join if you are free” or insert whatever your plan happens to be whether it’s park, museum, local kids theatre production, ect. But never more than one day notice, same day is also fine and sometimes better. This way- it doesn’t really matter if you hear back or if she comes or doesn’t. You still have your plans.

PP who stopped making plans with a friend like this. I tried this tactic and it backfired because it gives the impression you still want to make plans with this person and it keeps the door open for their chaotic last-minute behavior. People like this will continue to make plans and then flake on them, not show up, say they're coming when they're not, make a tentative plan and then never respond to your message, etc. Yes, you still have your own plans independent of them, but why even make the effort to extend the invitation and then be wondering if they are going to show? This is an adult who should understand social norms. If she can't follow through with a simple playdate, can't respond in a timely way, can't show up when she says she will, I would not continue putting myself out to stay in contact with her. Everyone screws up their calendar once in a while or forgets something, but this is routine for her. Not worth the aggravation, IMO.

Anonymous wrote:I would just respond consistently with "Sorry, we are busy at that time". I would not say any thing or otherwise engage - Just move on.

This. The one thing I might do is through out invites when we are headed somewhere: “ hey, we’re going to open swim at the gym tomorrow at 10:00. Love for you to join if you are free” or insert whatever your plan happens to be whether it’s park, museum, local kids theatre production, ect. But never more than one day notice, same day is also fine and sometimes better. This way- it doesn’t really matter if you hear back or if she comes or doesn’t. You still have your plans.

I would just respond consistently with "Sorry, we are busy at that time". I would not say any thing or otherwise engage - Just move on.