Anonymous
Post 11/29/2025 08:52     Subject: no bereavement leave
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Talk me off the ledge of quitting because I am very emotional and know that I should not do anything rash. Just lost a parent. Took one day off so far, and just found out my VA state agency does not offer any bereavement leave, nor can I use sick leave (I have 60 hours) even though DHRM's policy is to allow it. And since I am relatively new to the job I only have 12 paid holidays a year, and I've already used 8 and was planning other 4 over Xmas. I doubt my boss cares, and would probably just tell me to just 'work from home' but I am irrationally angry.


Use your 4 days. We can't always use our leave for the pleasant things.


In industry, paid bereavement leave is pretty rare. A week or so of leave without pay might be allowed in industry — if the person has no Paid Time Off (PTO) left.

Anonymous
Post 11/26/2025 20:10     Subject: no bereavement leave
Fed here so should be pretty similar. We’re allowed to use 3 days of our sick leave towards bereavement. I’d double check that you can’t use sick leave.

I’m very sorry for your loss.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2025 20:02     Subject: Re:no bereavement leave
Agree with the PPs saying take your leave now. Can you telework Christmas week? That's usually a pretty slow week and you can probably get away with 50% effort anyway. And you might want a few hours of work to distract you during a holiday time that is going to feel totally different this year. I'm so very sorry for your loss and hope you have a lot of support around you from family and friends.
Anonymous
Post 11/26/2025 08:37     Subject: no bereavement leave
Sorry for your loss. You are going through a lot; starting a new job and losing a parent are two of the biggest stressors in life.

That said, just use your vacation days now. Bereavement leave is spotty in the US, which stinks, but that's where we are.

Take care of yourself.
Anonymous
Post 11/24/2025 23:15     Subject: no bereavement leave
So, going forward, you should never use all of your vacation every year. Instead you should try to carry over some.

Challenge them about not taking sick leave. Show them the policy.

Last resort, ask about taking LWOP. That's better than quitting.

I'm sorry for your loss.
Anonymous
Post 11/24/2025 23:10     Subject: no bereavement leave
Anonymous wrote:Talk me off the ledge of quitting because I am very emotional and know that I should not do anything rash. Just lost a parent. Took one day off so far, and just found out my VA state agency does not offer any bereavement leave, nor can I use sick leave (I have 60 hours) even though DHRM's policy is to allow it. And since I am relatively new to the job I only have 12 paid holidays a year, and I've already used 8 and was planning other 4 over Xmas. I doubt my boss cares, and would probably just tell me to just 'work from home' but I am irrationally angry.


Use your 4 days. We can't always use our leave for the pleasant things.
Anonymous
Post 11/24/2025 23:07     Subject: no bereavement leave
I’m very sorry for your loss OP. How much time do you want to take? At my job, we were only given 2 days BL. Would your supervisor let you telework a bit? I hope everything works out.
Anonymous
Post 11/24/2025 22:59     Subject: no bereavement leave
Anonymous wrote:Keep in mind bereavement leave is meant to let you deal with organizing a funeral and taking care of details - it's not meant as a time for mourning. And anyone who's dealt with shutting down someone's life and handling a funeral knows two days is not enough time.

I attended my mom's funeral via Zoom on my MacBook while my work laptop was open right next to it and I was working. Sometimes life really sucks, OP.

Don't quit - then you'll have lost two things that were very important, in two very different ways.


That is one of the saddest things I’ve ever read on here wow
Anonymous
Post 11/24/2025 21:41     Subject: no bereavement leave
Anonymous wrote:Talk me off the ledge of quitting because I am very emotional and know that I should not do anything rash. Just lost a parent. Took one day off so far, and just found out my VA state agency does not offer any bereavement leave, nor can I use sick leave (I have 60 hours) even though DHRM's policy is to allow it. And since I am relatively new to the job I only have 12 paid holidays a year, and I've already used 8 and was planning other 4 over Xmas. I doubt my boss cares, and would probably just tell me to just 'work from home' but I am irrationally angry.


Sad
Anonymous
Post 11/24/2025 19:08     Subject: no bereavement leave
I bet they will allow you to take a few weeks of unpaid leave to handle your family's affairs.