OP, not going is totally and completely fine. Your son is fine with it, which is the most important thing. Do not waste another second worrying about this.

I don't think there's a wrong answer if he's happy either way. I'd lean toward not going (but my kid would also lean that way), but I don't think it's wrong to do it to get to spend time with your kid.

There are people who do college visits alone at younger ages and are fine, so I definitely don't think going is the only option.

You don’t need us to assuage your guilt, don’t allow yourself to feel guilty. Have your own back.

Anonymous wrote:If my child was fine, I wouldn't have the least bit of guilt for not going. This is something for you and him. No one will ever remember if you were there except your son and he sounds like you did an amazing job of raising a confident, competent and independent person. Congratulations.

+1

My kid flew to college visits on her own, as did I when I was a high school senior. As long as your kid can manage a 2 hour drive (riskiest part, IMHO) they are fine.
Parents do not need to be at every kid event to support their kid. Sometimes support means confidence that they can handle this on their own.

Anonymous wrote:My guess is you didn’t think to go because you know your son has it under control. Good for him, and stick with your gut.

+1

I’m impressed with your student’s independence!

I would call the school and ask about the parent track. If you find out that it’s just something to keep traveling parents busy as you suspect, I wouldn’t worry about going. Sounds like your kid is fine going solo.

Anonymous wrote:I would've chosen to go, but my kids have really enjoyed reflecting on their visits in the moment and they really enjoy the "debriefs" that we do in the hotel room.

lol. This sounds like my kid’s worst nightmare!

It’s a nice reminder that kids are different, and you know yours best.

No reason to feel guilty.

My guess is you didn’t think to go because you know your son has it under control. Good for him, and stick with your gut.

I have been on tours and impressed when young adults are there solo. I think it demonstrates they are ready - and to the school flags that you are not a helicopter parent.

Best of luck!

If my child was fine, I wouldn't have the least bit of guilt for not going. This is something for you and him. No one will ever remember if you were there except your son and he sounds like you did an amazing job of raising a confident, competent and independent person. Congratulations.

I would've chosen to go, but my kids have really enjoyed reflecting on their visits in the moment and they really enjoy the "debriefs" that we do in the hotel room.

But what's done is done and it sounds like you're not able to go anyway so no need to worry about it.

Absolutely no guilt. What a great opportunity and yes- the parent stuff is just because the travelers need something to do.
You can feel good by making sure your kid is prepared with directions, a good timeline, parking plan, etc. Then let your kid soar.

My kid would love to do something like this on her own. She is 100% ready and would feel so great about herself and her independence, in part because she’d know that my letting her go so is a sign that I trust in and believe in her.

But that’s my kid. I know a few of her friends well enough to know that they’re either not ready yet for that type of solo experience, or they’d see they’re parent’s not going as a sign that they didn’t care. Kids (and families) are different that way.

For my DD, giving her space to spread her wings is a huge gift. Showing trust in her independence has always been her “love language,” even as a little kid with much smaller experiences.

She knows we have her back without holding her back … my guess is your kid is similar. Don’t overthink this.

I think it shows a lot of maturity if he wants to go alone and I would leave it up to him.