Anonymous wrote:I wouldn’t say anything. BUT, giving someone a used water bottle as a gift is gross. I highly doubt he rinsed it out before giving it to her, if it were in fact new.

Maybe it was new but it was a "return" at the store and he did not open it and checked.

So, I would tell my DD to let him know so this can be returned at the store.

Maybe DD can tell him gently and privately - that they should not exchange gifts in the future.

I disagree that your DD should keep her mouth shut. Why should she be a doormat and passive in her relationship? What a stupid advice.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should have specified that the water bottle had something like tea or juice in it. Definitely not water.

I will stay out of it and not say anything to her. I’ll keep my judgmental thoughts to myself!

Yeah, this is trashy. Cannot believe people are defending this. As a mom, I’d keep my comments to myself- and hope this is a short lived relationship. Even for a teen- this is a bad move and shows he is an idiot

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should have specified that the water bottle had something like tea or juice in it. Definitely not water.

I will stay out of it and not say anything to her. I’ll keep my judgmental thoughts to myself!

A sweet card would be way better than this.

Writing as a mom of someone who had two nice water bottles very likely stolen, I'd wonder if he stole it.

(My kid hates stickers but magically the water bottles with personal stickers on them don't walk the same way ones without stickers do...)

Might be an even stranger post than the original post.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I should have specified that the water bottle had something like tea or juice in it. Definitely not water.

I will stay out of it and not say anything to her. I’ll keep my judgmental thoughts to myself!

A sweet card would be way better than this.

Writing as a mom of someone who had two nice water bottles very likely stolen, I'd wonder if he stole it.

(My kid hates stickers but magically the water bottles with personal stickers on them don't walk the same way ones without stickers do...)

The first gift I ever got from a boyfriend was a Star Wars Lego set that he had shoplifted from the mall. My mom hated him with a passion and I think that made me dig in my heels more!
If you want your daughter to dump this guy, tell her he's marriage material and not to let this one go.

Did your daughter want a water bottle? I have a girl and a boy so not on either side of this. But - what I hear from my teen son is that many boys avoid relationships because they are so expensive and so then they have to earn extra money so they can have a girlfriend. Now, I hope they do do that when they’re older because being financially successful will be good for them and any future family. It may feel like a lot of pressure now, though.

All that to say, the present was awful. Is there a chance that an expensive water bottle was out of his budget and he got something from someone else (mom, sister etc) and didn’t look inside? Not defending it and it does sound gross. But also look at the big picture and any signs you’re seeing wrt his spending money.

Also, your daughter doesn’t care about that? But she told you neutrally? I’m surprised she wasn’t grossed out.

kids are learning how to be good gift givers too - and should be learning how to be gracious recipients. I'd stay out of it and err on the side of thinking that he made some effort.

Like an Owalla or Stanley? That's a nice gift and I agree he likely just rinsed it out. I feel bad for this kid getting judged!!

OP here. I should have specified that the water bottle had something like tea or juice in it. Definitely not water.

I will stay out of it and not say anything to her. I’ll keep my judgmental thoughts to myself!

The red flag is you being in their business. Get a job.

Anonymous wrote:He wasn't even obligated to give her a gift at all!

And obviously he rinsed out the bottle.

Is this a troll? No one can be this entitled and dumb.

No gift would have been better. There are many thoughtful ways to wish someone a happy birthday that are inexpensive or free. No one is rinsing out a brand new water bottle before giving it as a gift, especially a teen boy. It’s not the “gift,” it’s the terrible judgement to think giving a used a water as a gift is appropriate in this situation. He does not sound bright, nor thoughtful.

It's really gross to be this enmeshed with this boy.

Mom, honestly stay out of this.

Anonymous wrote:Is it one of those $30-$40 type cups?

I think this is odd but I would give benefit of the doubt. If it was a store item or new regift, maybe it had gotten dusty.

My h.s. boyfriend gave me new Mary Kay makeup his mom couldn't sell as a Mary Kay trainee. I knew why. It didn't bother me.

Yeah, but was the makeup opened and already used by others?

I wouldn’t say anything. BUT, giving someone a used water bottle as a gift is gross. I highly doubt he rinsed it out before giving it to her, if it were in fact new.