Anonymous wrote:No. You can buy her some semi permanent color like Overtone so she can do it herself and see if she likes it. Then have her experience growing it out for a learning opportunity.

I would not take a 12 year old to have expensive salon lowlights or dye. An 18 year old? Yes.

But ALL of these dyes are simply terrible for her hair and will leave it damaged.

I feel so bad for these girls who’ve been allowed to destroy their hair like this. Someone should have told them.

I would use this as a low stakes learning opportunity since your DD will have to make decisions and learn to live with the consequences.

If you think she’s too young now you can tell her to wait until she’s 16 or whatever. That will give her time to explore what’s involved in changing her hair color (she could talk to your stylist if you have one) and to earn the money to pay for it if you go that route. Who knows, by the time she’s old enough she may have changed her mind or not but it puts her in the driver seat and you have stepped back to let her work through the decision making process. Next time it might be a tattoo or some other higher stakes thing…

No. You can buy her some semi permanent color like Overtone so she can do it herself and see if she likes it. Then have her experience growing it out for a learning opportunity.

I would not take a 12 year old to have expensive salon lowlights or dye. An 18 year old? Yes.

It will take years or a buzz cut to undo.
Tell her that. Let her get water based colors. Festive for winter.

If she can earn/save the money, she can use it for this if she really wants it. If she can’t earn the money, you could give it as a holiday gift. Once. Then if she wants to maintain it, she has to pay for it.

Dye jobs on tweens look bad.

I paid to have my hair permed back in high school. Earned the money myself. My parent certainly were not going to pay for such things. That aside, I learned my lesson. I do not look good with a perm. Haha.

So, if you let her, she could also learn a lesson from the experience. If something is safe enough to do, I'll give a yes and let children learn what they like or don't like.

I love the idea someone else shared about having them pay for this.

Anonymous wrote:It's just hair.

And a lot of $.

No. She can do that when she’s 18. It’s toxic.

Anonymous wrote:It's just hair.

And clothes are “just clothes” and nails are “just nails.” What’s your point? 12 years old is too young for this.

It's just hair.

Anonymous wrote:Sure- why not? Hair grows back. I don’t understand parents who try to control every little thing

Because 12 is too young for this. Hard no.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would consider lowlights rather than dye + highlights, as color-depositing dye is less damaging than highlights. See if the stylist has a semi-permanent option, which will fade as it grows out so it's not as long of a commitment.

- Let my kid get 3-week purple dye streaks at about that age. Got it out of their system and hasn't asked about hair dye since.

I agree with this. It seems really short-sighted to get into a power struggle about a hairstyle especially if your primary objection is that she might regret it later. If she does, that is a GREAT lesson/natural consequence.

Christmas is coming - make a semi-permanent dye job at a salon one of her gifts.

Semi permanent is practically permanent. It will fade to a very ugly color and she will be stuck with that for YEARS unless frequently going in for toning and touch ups

The upkeep will be expensive. I’d hold off until she’s a couple years older before you start it.

Anonymous wrote:I would consider lowlights rather than dye + highlights, as color-depositing dye is less damaging than highlights. See if the stylist has a semi-permanent option, which will fade as it grows out so it's not as long of a commitment.

- Let my kid get 3-week purple dye streaks at about that age. Got it out of their system and hasn't asked about hair dye since.

I agree with this. It seems really short-sighted to get into a power struggle about a hairstyle especially if your primary objection is that she might regret it later. If she does, that is a GREAT lesson/natural consequence.

Christmas is coming - make a semi-permanent dye job at a salon one of her gifts.