Anonymous
11/19/2025 11:06
Subject: Re:Risks of attending a “Reach” school
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:From Malcolm Gladwell - there are a lot of MIT Business majors that started as STEM majors. You judge yourself with those around you - at top tier school you are likely at the bottom. He gave an example of a Brown Bio major who dropped out but in retrospect she thought if she went to UMD she'd have a PHD in the field.
if you prep him for the competition then he might better deal with it.
Which book is this from?
David and Goliath and the Chapter: Big-fish–little-pond effect;
Found this that talks about it: https://www.insidehighered.com/blogs/technology-and-learning/david-goliath-gladwell-analytics
Anonymous
11/19/2025 10:32
Subject: Re:Risks of attending a “Reach” school
Anonymous wrote:My son adjusted very well, but “reach” was due to the low selectivity (Ivy). He had the top scores and grades/rigor. He attended a private HS. The HS prepared him very well. He had 5s on all AP exams.
What he did say was that HS was 6 hours a day of class with 2 hours of homework, while college is 2 hours of classes with 6 hours of reading/writing/homework.
He has always been self-motivator, non-procrastinator. He was able to play a club sport with a lot of travel and have a very healthy social life. Never felt too stressed. It’s the happiest I have seen him. Really enjoys the independence and that every e he talks to is very smart.
My kid wants to play a club sport in college. How much of a time commitment is a club sport in college that has lots of travel? Does he have practice every day? Does he have to miss classes to go to games or tournaments?
Anonymous
11/19/2025 10:29
Subject: Risks of attending a “Reach” school
Anonymous wrote:Any cautionary tales or pleasant surprises if your not great student got in and attended his or her “reach” schools?
My son is NOT a good student. Probably above average intelligence, but has ADHD and doesn’t work hard. Math is especially difficult. He managed a 3.4uw GPA but with quite a few summer school classes. We were nervous and applied to 15 schools!
So far, he’s gotten into 7 schools. Everyone he heard from so far was a yea. These are the sort that take >75% or more, so not unexpected. One gem is a truly great fit and gave him merit to get closer to in-state cost.
What I am worried about is him getting into 1 or more of his reaches (JMU, Pitt, VA Tech, UMD). I think that will be exciting for him and he’d enjoy the football season and the school’s name recognition among friends, but the academics would too rigorous and less support at big schools. Plus, expect no merit, so probably $50-$60k a year.
Maybe he won’t get in any, but statistically, he is likely to somehow get into one of them and now I wish he’d never applied.
My kid is at Pitt and is a first semester freshman. His grades were ok but on the lower end for Pitt. He had an IEP in high school for reading comprehension. He seems to be doing fine. He goes to class and does what is necessary. A friend has a kid at VA Tech in the business school and the kid is doing better in college than high school. He was a bottom 40 percent in high school and has over a 3.5 at VA Tech. Either your kid will do the work or not. Most kids put forth a stronger effort in college.
Anonymous
11/19/2025 10:27
Subject: Risks of attending a “Reach” school
Anonymous wrote:The classes are hard at DD's 1st year's reach school. It does somewhat depend on proposed major and natural proclivities. So many are pushed onto a STEM path, and those classes have extra hours due to lab, hard tests, hard math, etc. Whereas humanities and social science majors generally may not require as much study.
It's a fallacy that humanities courses are easier. My freshman kid is at his reach school and is taking Bio, Chem, and MVC this semester. He said his China freshman seminar workload is heavier than those three classes put together, due to the lengthy reading assignments and papers. He has high As in the STEM classes and will be lucky to pull off an A in the humanities course.
Anonymous
11/19/2025 10:21
Subject: Re:Risks of attending a “Reach” school
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:From Malcolm Gladwell - there are a lot of MIT Business majors that started as STEM majors. You judge yourself with those around you - at top tier school you are likely at the bottom. He gave an example of a Brown Bio major who dropped out but in retrospect she thought if she went to UMD she'd have a PHD in the field.
Likely the other way around.
20 - 30 years ago Maryland was a different school and attracted different students.
Anonymous
11/19/2025 09:58
Subject: Re:Risks of attending a “Reach” school
Anonymous wrote:From Malcolm Gladwell - there are a lot of MIT Business majors that started as STEM majors. You judge yourself with those around you - at top tier school you are likely at the bottom. He gave an example of a Brown Bio major who dropped out but in retrospect she thought if she went to UMD she'd have a PHD in the field.
if you prep him for the competition then he might better deal with it.
Love that Gladwell talk, and he is right--for some students. For other students, having average or even below average stats will push the student to work their hardest and accomplish things they would not if they were a top student elsewhere. As a top student among mediocre by comparison peers, they would coast and not be pushed at the school with the majority of peers not as intelligent/driven as they are. The key is to know your student. There are students who come in with scores and grades indicating they should be top 10% easily and they crash and burn due to one of two things, lack of motivation or the presumption that they are at the top causes them to not take the coursework seriously, not put in the hours, get below the mean on a midterm due to lack of preparation not smarts. That sets off a defeatest attitude where they blame all things around them as the cause, rather than go to office hours, get a tutor if needed figure out what happened, and cut the social schedule. There are students who seem quite similar to the first, based on SAT /AP scores yet pick a reachier school where that places them around average: they know they are going to have to work their a$$ off they talk to other students in advance, talk to advisors, go to all office hours, find study groups, block out the temptation to socialize all weekend and find peers who would rather work hard in the library. They get above the median on the test which inspires them to continue their hard work. They end up in med/law school while their similar stats high school buddy who went to the much easier undergrad and crashed and burned does not.
Anonymous
11/19/2025 09:37
Subject: Risks of attending a “Reach” school
Anonymous wrote:Cautionary tales or pleasant surprises….my ADHD son is now a senior in college. He had a 35 ACT, good grades, great resume. His fantasy schools were the UCs, Villanova, USC, and Princeton. In hindsight, they thankfully didn’t take him and he is at our state school.
He didn’t like to study in high school or do anything he didn’t want to do. And that didn’t change in college. Would a small school have been better… maybe socially..but it wouldn’t have helped him not wanting to study..and he didn’t go to office hours or tutoring or things available to him at the big school..he wouldn’t have done it at the small school either. Would he have been around more people that studied or partied less..maybe..but he didn’t want to study and didn’t.
Freshman year grades were a disaster. Sophomore year we battled still begging him to study. He is very smart…so was ultimately able to study enough to get a college degree with a low to mid 3.0 GPA.
He and we..have seen a tremendous difference in him this year..at 22. He functions so much better and studies more with hard classes. More mature and improved executive function. He tells us now…at this point he feels like if he could start college over…he could make good grades in any major.
I don’t know if this is helpful to anyone..and please no attacks for my honesty. He at 22is a lovely person and will work hard at his future job if there is one.
This is a lovely heartwarming post. Brought tears to my eyes.
Wishing your family the very best of luck.
Anonymous
11/19/2025 09:35
Subject: Risks of attending a “Reach” school
You worry about that when and if it happens. Don't trouble trouble until trouble troubles you.
Anonymous
11/19/2025 09:31
Subject: Risks of attending a “Reach” school
Anonymous wrote:ADHD students tend to be very bright, but really need structure and routine to get it going. I'd focus on fit rather than perceived prestige.
More important than “fit” is a great disability services office that will work with your kid to get the accommodations he needs and then serve as an advocate when needed. There are books on this
Anonymous
11/19/2025 09:05
Subject: Re:Risks of attending a “Reach” school
My son adjusted very well, but “reach” was due to the low selectivity (Ivy). He had the top scores and grades/rigor. He attended a private HS. The HS prepared him very well. He had 5s on all AP exams.
What he did say was that HS was 6 hours a day of class with 2 hours of homework, while college is 2 hours of classes with 6 hours of reading/writing/homework.
He has always been self-motivator, non-procrastinator. He was able to play a club sport with a lot of travel and have a very healthy social life. Never felt too stressed. It’s the happiest I have seen him. Really enjoys the independence and that every e he talks to is very smart.
What he did say was that HS was 6 hours a day of class with 2 hours of homework, while college is 2 hours of classes with 6 hours of reading/writing/homework.
He has always been self-motivator, non-procrastinator. He was able to play a club sport with a lot of travel and have a very healthy social life. Never felt too stressed. It’s the happiest I have seen him. Really enjoys the independence and that every e he talks to is very smart.
Anonymous
11/19/2025 08:56
Subject: Risks of attending a “Reach” school
Cautionary tales or pleasant surprises….my ADHD son is now a senior in college. He had a 35 ACT, good grades, great resume. His fantasy schools were the UCs, Villanova, USC, and Princeton. In hindsight, they thankfully didn’t take him and he is at our state school.
He didn’t like to study in high school or do anything he didn’t want to do. And that didn’t change in college. Would a small school have been better… maybe socially..but it wouldn’t have helped him not wanting to study..and he didn’t go to office hours or tutoring or things available to him at the big school..he wouldn’t have done it at the small school either. Would he have been around more people that studied or partied less..maybe..but he didn’t want to study and didn’t.
Freshman year grades were a disaster. Sophomore year we battled still begging him to study. He is very smart…so was ultimately able to study enough to get a college degree with a low to mid 3.0 GPA.
He and we..have seen a tremendous difference in him this year..at 22. He functions so much better and studies more with hard classes. More mature and improved executive function. He tells us now…at this point he feels like if he could start college over…he could make good grades in any major.
I don’t know if this is helpful to anyone..and please no attacks for my honesty. He at 22is a lovely person and will work hard at his future job if there is one.
He didn’t like to study in high school or do anything he didn’t want to do. And that didn’t change in college. Would a small school have been better… maybe socially..but it wouldn’t have helped him not wanting to study..and he didn’t go to office hours or tutoring or things available to him at the big school..he wouldn’t have done it at the small school either. Would he have been around more people that studied or partied less..maybe..but he didn’t want to study and didn’t.
Freshman year grades were a disaster. Sophomore year we battled still begging him to study. He is very smart…so was ultimately able to study enough to get a college degree with a low to mid 3.0 GPA.
He and we..have seen a tremendous difference in him this year..at 22. He functions so much better and studies more with hard classes. More mature and improved executive function. He tells us now…at this point he feels like if he could start college over…he could make good grades in any major.
I don’t know if this is helpful to anyone..and please no attacks for my honesty. He at 22is a lovely person and will work hard at his future job if there is one.
Anonymous
11/19/2025 08:43
Subject: Risks of attending a “Reach” school
The reaches are all great schools with generally happy students. I think your DC would do well and thrive at any of them outside of a major that attracts super competitive students (like VT engineering). Good luck!
Anonymous
11/19/2025 08:10
Subject: Re:Risks of attending a “Reach” school
I am worried about this too with DC as a recruited athlete. Not tippy top school at all but still a reach. I all but told DC not to commit and go somewhere he can be successful but he wants to shoot his shot. Has to be DCs decision on this kind of thing.
Anonymous
11/19/2025 07:47
Subject: Risks of attending a “Reach” school
Anonymous wrote:What are his safety and match schools?
He is in so far at Towson, Temple, Salisbury, Ursinus, St. Joe’s, ECU, WVU.
Waiting on Drexel, CoC, JMU (more a Target), Pitt, VA tech and UMD (which I know is impossible but had to
Anonymous
11/19/2025 07:41
Subject: Risks of attending a “Reach” school
Anonymous wrote:there is no way in hell he is getting into UMD with a 3.4 UWGPA, so wipe that worry off your plate
Lol! I totally agreed. My husband insisted he apply, but that one is the least of my worries!! I am “worried” he might get into VT or Pitt and will want to go.