Women losing respect for their husbands for various reasons.

Anonymous wrote:Sexless marraige here

I don't believe it. Did you go to your spouse and repeatedly say we need to divorce if we don't have sex, and then go to counseling to try to get past it, and your spouse still said No, I won't have sex, so I guess let's divorce?

OR is that your excuse? did you find an affair partner, because you were a coward and wouldn't communicate with your spouse about your wants/needs and mismatch in sexual expectations?
I/therapists/divorce lawyers have found the latter to be true.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Most people won't (often legally can't) tell you about abuse, but it's present in a shockingly high number of divorce cases. Often it's emotional/financial rather than physical, but the scars that leaves are often worse. Even when it is also physical the emotional and financial components are often there.

This and undiagnosed mental illness

Abuse and undiagnosed/unacknowleged mental illness are often intertwined.

As are abuse and addiction, though sadly an addict getting sober/clean rarely stops the abuse, only like 8 or 9% of the time. It's like the abuse part of a broken brain is the hardest part to heal.

Growing apart till nothing's left or reaching the point where one person can no longer endure the issues that have been there for decades. Seeing this in a spate of new empty nester divorces.

Addiction

And then too many relapses

Anonymous wrote:Most people won't (often legally can't) tell you about abuse, but it's present in a shockingly high number of divorce cases. Often it's emotional/financial rather than physical, but the scars that leaves are often worse. Even when it is also physical the emotional and financial components are often there.

This and undiagnosed mental illness

Anonymous wrote:Lack of validation, appreciation, support, respect, and genuine care leading to resentment, disconnection, and contempt aided by poor communication. Often on both sides.

This is my marriage. Can’t quite bring myself to leave, but I feel trapped.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Stagnation, Complacency, Resentment and Contempt usually stemming from adultery, abuse and lack of communication. Expectations and needs going unmet for years because they weren’t clearly communicated creates a belief that the relationship cannot change or grow.

Blaming another for not “clearly communicating” their basic relationship needs over and over creates a misbelief that some Mommy Figure is supposed to tell you what to do all the time and not hold you accountable when you fail to do it.

Both parties are responsible and accountable for themselves but that often includes struggling to speak up and voice clearly their needs. Either because it leads to misunderstanding, an argument, more negative emotion etc. Easier to just not say anything. Or they may not be a good communicator - and struggle with the communication in that specific dynamic. It isn't about someone telling you what to do. It is about trying to navigate complex situations that are ripe with strong emotion and opinions and walking on eggshells. It is about the sender, the message, and the receiver and often the message sent isn't the message received. Makes it hard to communicate effectively.

Lack of validation, appreciation, support, respect, and genuine care leading to resentment, disconnection, and contempt aided by poor communication. Often on both sides.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What do you think the main reason for divorce is? If you exclude cheating.

Would not acknowledge nor manage his mental disorders or symptoms.

Agree with this. Lots of other stuff - abuse, addiction, failure to keep a job - stem from mental illness.

Anonymous wrote:Stagnation, Complacency, Resentment and Contempt usually stemming from adultery, abuse and lack of communication. Expectations and needs going unmet for years because they weren’t clearly communicated creates a belief that the relationship cannot change or grow.

Blaming another for not “clearly communicating” their basic relationship needs over and over creates a misbelief that some Mommy Figure is supposed to tell you what to do all the time and not hold you accountable when you fail to do it.

And yes they were formally diagnosed at age 39.

Anonymous wrote:What do you think the main reason for divorce is? If you exclude cheating.

Would not acknowledge nor manage his mental disorders or symptoms.

Sexless marraige here

Women being too emotional and not being rational