If you really have no clue what might have prompted the fade of a friendship, it’s truly probably not about you at all.

A bunch of years ago I basically had a nervous breakdown. I found out my husband was keeping a whole separate family in what he called a “city investment apartment to be close to work.” I had my hands full with all our kids. She was divorced and moved her kids into the place she shared with my now ex. I didn’t even know what she looked like, but he’d been hiding her from me and his family for like 10 years.

You know how bad it was? He and I were flying to family vacations and weddings and he was flying her with them. All those mornings he “went to the hotel gym” for 3 hours and we were waiting for Dad to get back, he was with her in the room he got for her.

One of my adult kids said she’d told them, “I don’t think your mom ever saw me but I always saw her, so you see how long your Dad and I have been in love”

She also used to go to all our kids athletic games and hang out on the other side of the field and they’d make google eyes at each other and send texts. While I was sitting right there.

So I basically lost my mind. I needed to just wipe myself off the map for a while, didn’t trust anyone, didn’t want to look anyone in the eye, didn’t want to talk about it, didn’t want to find out how stupid and humiliated I’d been.

I’m happy for all my former friends, I’m glad they have wonderful lives, but mine exploded and I just don’t have enough pieces of me left over to make a good friend to anyone. And no one deserves to have to be around me, I’m very different now.

Anonymous wrote:Agree with keep the door open and emotionally disinvest. I had a best friend, maid of honor level, who only ever reached out when she needed something and ghosted me otherwise. I stopped reaching out and only reciprocated when she did. The friendship is basically gone, but I would be friends in the future. People go through hard periods with kids, family, work, stress etc.

Are you my BFF who ghosted me for no apparent reason?

I still miss you.

Sorry if you felt like I wasn’t there enough, but you were the one who moved away. I got busy with my job and kids, but I tried to reach out periodically to chat. I always appreciated you and valued our friendship. I’m sorry if my gifts weren’t as lavish as yours, but I have a mortgage, kids, etc.

Anyway, I miss you. And I still have no clue what I did to prompt you to fade away.