Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman daughter is having trouble in high school and dh and I are worried about her. In middle school she had a good friend group and was friends with a lot of people. Most of her friends are at different schools now (private, application etc..). She has made some new friends but says she isn't close to them and misses her middle school friends terribly. They hang out on the weekend but it isn't enough especially with all of them having sports and activities. There have also been some complications and a couple of friendships have ended and that has definitely been hard on her. She has been getting bad grades C's and B's with very few A's and overall has a worse attitude and is procrastinating on her homework and just seems very unhappy. I know this is common since its a change but how long until she adjusts and feels like she belongs again? For context she loved going to middle school (for the most part, of course there was some complaining involved) and seemed happy there. She told me she would do anything to "get her old life back" and it breaks my heart seeing her so hopeless.

But those are not “bad grades.” Earning a C is average.

Plus she’s only a freshman! I’d just give her a little space . Adolescents is a hard period of life.

DP. Those are bad grades. Assuming OP’s daughter isn’t in AP classes. Getting As in regular or honors 9th grade classes is pretty easy if you turn everything in and pay attention in class.

If this were my kid I’d start with talking about school. Her priority right now needs to be school and figuring out how to do better in classes- not just for the letter grade but to be actually learning. The grades you get in high school and the effort you put in does follow you to some extent and can impact what opportunities you have to moving forward after high school.

In contrast with the friends you have in high school and will likely never see again after gradation. They mean nothing. I know in those high school years they seem so important and like they are everything- but encourage her to see the bigger picture.

+1 finally, a voice of reason! She has to focus on her academics now or she will squander any chances of going to a good college. Bs and Cs in high school aren’t going to cut it. You don’t want her to end up at NOVA - then she will be really depressed.

I don't really think that's the biggest concern here. Of course grades - especially in highschool - matter but i'm assuming those were just her term 1 grades. If she gets A's the rest of the terms they will average into an A. If she's depressed or has no motivation she won't be able to get good grades.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman daughter is having trouble in high school and dh and I are worried about her. In middle school she had a good friend group and was friends with a lot of people. Most of her friends are at different schools now (private, application etc..). She has made some new friends but says she isn't close to them and misses her middle school friends terribly. They hang out on the weekend but it isn't enough especially with all of them having sports and activities. There have also been some complications and a couple of friendships have ended and that has definitely been hard on her. She has been getting bad grades C's and B's with very few A's and overall has a worse attitude and is procrastinating on her homework and just seems very unhappy. I know this is common since its a change but how long until she adjusts and feels like she belongs again? For context she loved going to middle school (for the most part, of course there was some complaining involved) and seemed happy there. She told me she would do anything to "get her old life back" and it breaks my heart seeing her so hopeless.

But those are not “bad grades.” Earning a C is average.

Plus she’s only a freshman! I’d just give her a little space . Adolescents is a hard period of life.

DP. Those are bad grades. Assuming OP’s daughter isn’t in AP classes. Getting As in regular or honors 9th grade classes is pretty easy if you turn everything in and pay attention in class.

If this were my kid I’d start with talking about school. Her priority right now needs to be school and figuring out how to do better in classes- not just for the letter grade but to be actually learning. The grades you get in high school and the effort you put in does follow you to some extent and can impact what opportunities you have to moving forward after high school.

In contrast with the friends you have in high school and will likely never see again after gradation. They mean nothing. I know in those high school years they seem so important and like they are everything- but encourage her to see the bigger picture.

+1 finally, a voice of reason! She has to focus on her academics now or she will squander any chances of going to a good college. Bs and Cs in high school aren’t going to cut it. You don’t want her to end up at NOVA - then she will be really depressed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman daughter is having trouble in high school and dh and I are worried about her. In middle school she had a good friend group and was friends with a lot of people. Most of her friends are at different schools now (private, application etc..). She has made some new friends but says she isn't close to them and misses her middle school friends terribly. They hang out on the weekend but it isn't enough especially with all of them having sports and activities. There have also been some complications and a couple of friendships have ended and that has definitely been hard on her. She has been getting bad grades C's and B's with very few A's and overall has a worse attitude and is procrastinating on her homework and just seems very unhappy. I know this is common since its a change but how long until she adjusts and feels like she belongs again? For context she loved going to middle school (for the most part, of course there was some complaining involved) and seemed happy there. She told me she would do anything to "get her old life back" and it breaks my heart seeing her so hopeless.

But those are not “bad grades.” Earning a C is average.

Plus she’s only a freshman! I’d just give her a little space . Adolescents is a hard period of life.

DP. Those are bad grades. Assuming OP’s daughter isn’t in AP classes. Getting As in regular or honors 9th grade classes is pretty easy if you turn everything in and pay attention in class.

If this were my kid I’d start with talking about school. Her priority right now needs to be school and figuring out how to do better in classes- not just for the letter grade but to be actually learning. The grades you get in high school and the effort you put in does follow you to some extent and can impact what opportunities you have to moving forward after high school.

In contrast with the friends you have in high school and will likely never see again after gradation. They mean nothing. I know in those high school years they seem so important and like they are everything- but encourage her to see the bigger picture.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My freshman daughter is having trouble in high school and dh and I are worried about her. In middle school she had a good friend group and was friends with a lot of people. Most of her friends are at different schools now (private, application etc..). She has made some new friends but says she isn't close to them and misses her middle school friends terribly. They hang out on the weekend but it isn't enough especially with all of them having sports and activities. There have also been some complications and a couple of friendships have ended and that has definitely been hard on her. She has been getting bad grades C's and B's with very few A's and overall has a worse attitude and is procrastinating on her homework and just seems very unhappy. I know this is common since its a change but how long until she adjusts and feels like she belongs again? For context she loved going to middle school (for the most part, of course there was some complaining involved) and seemed happy there. She told me she would do anything to "get her old life back" and it breaks my heart seeing her so hopeless.

But those are not “bad grades.” Earning a C is average.

Plus she’s only a freshman! I’d just give her a little space . Adolescents is a hard period of life.

DP. Those are bad grades. Assuming OP’s daughter isn’t in AP classes. Getting As in regular or honors 9th grade classes is pretty easy if you turn everything in and pay attention in class.

If this were my kid I’d start with talking about school. Her priority right now needs to be school and figuring out how to do better in classes- not just for the letter grade but to be actually learning. The grades you get in high school and the effort you put in does follow you to some extent and can impact what opportunities you have to moving forward after high school.

In contrast with the friends you have in high school and will likely never see again after gradation. They mean nothing. I know in those high school years they seem so important and like they are everything- but encourage her to see the bigger picture.

Anonymous wrote:I wonder if hanging around the middle school friends so much is helping prevent her from making new friends. I wouldn’t suggest cutting off the old comforting friends, but has she reached out to kids at the new school to suggest activities? Sometimes looking for other people who are not already part of a big group can be helpful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to focus on improving those grades and maybe some therapy

Do you really think this teen girl needs therapy?! She needs some discipline. School is for learning and in my opinion these kids get babied too much in school so they aren't ready for the real world.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She needs to focus on improving those grades and maybe some therapy

Do you really think this teen girl needs therapy?! She needs some discipline. School is for learning and in my opinion these kids get babied too much in school so they aren't ready for the real world.

Anonymous wrote:She needs to focus on improving those grades and maybe some therapy

Anonymous wrote:I would get a tutor to meet with her twice a week to get her grades up.