Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:But was the advice better than DCUM?

+1

This generation of AI models is just as smart as the average DCUM poster. The next generation will be as smart as those people who choose not to post to DCUM.

The smartest "AI" will only ever be as smart as what it can steal and synthesize. So no, it won't be smarter than those smart enough to stay offline, as their knowledge can't be made accessible to the training sets AI trains on.

Those people are useless, if they even exist.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wasn’t really agreeing with me. It offered advice on setting boundaries in one case. And then the other case it offered advice on responding to a difficult sibling without escalating the argument. I don’t feel like it was just agreeing with me. I feel like it was giving very sane advice

Maybe you have been seeing crappy therapists. Most therapists should be able to show you how to set boundaries if you are open to it.

Besides the online therapists, a therapist isn't ready to talk whenever and wherever I am.

Having played with several A.I. programs, you can learn to push their buttons and get them "angry" at you and give you harmful advice, same as humans.

Strange times.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

If you get these responses from a lot of humans, the data suggest that you may be the problem.

Also, if someone said to you, “I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed”, in real life, would you not just feel a profound urge to smack them? Or is that really how you want actual humans to speak to you? Take a deep breath if you’re overwhelmed before you respond.

It’s definitely possible I’m the problem, although overall I think I bring things up fairly well. Perhaps I’m just attracted to more avoidant people (which most men tend to be).

I’m also someone who loves to talk about feelings, which isn’t for everyone, especially men.

Those specific words? They’re written, and of course written communication is very different than spoken. Like I doubt you say “the data suggest” much in real life. Written is just different.

Different people want different things. Some people like to receive a lot of empathy and validation. That’s okay. Other people don’t. That’s okay too. If AI works better for someone than a therapist, I don’t see a problem with that.

Because it's *from a robot*. It's not real empathy. It's not real validation. It's just a robot using probability to predict what words a human would use. That's what's so weird about it. Not that you're a written processor rather than aural. Not that you're wanting empathy and validation. It's that you like to receive empathy and validation from a non-human. I find it incredibly strange that anyone thinks that's actual empathy and actual validation.

It's tough to find actual empathy and validation from real humans. Most people's default is to say "look on the bright side!" or "you should just XYZ!". Even worse in relationships, where most people respond with defensiveness, blame shifting, etc.

I mean, just look at DCUM, where most peoples' first reaction is to jump down one anothers' throats and argue.

It's not ideal to get it from a robot, but if you have few other options, it's better than nothing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

I just think it's strange that it has the same effect on you when you know it's not a human. I could program Alexa to say those exact words but I wouldn't feel validated. This is no different.

The difference between ChatGPT and something pre-programmed is that ChatGPT is reacting in real time. So you can type in a question, it will give you an answer, for example, “no you’re not being unreasonable,” and then you can ask it why and it will give you a plausible answer. ChatGPT can be a very helpful brainstorming tool if you are not treating it as a human, but more like an interactive journal.

At one point I was asking it lots of questions and then I realized- I keep saying the same thing, it keeps giving me the same answers. So I didn’t find it very “addictive” because it was repetitive but I do think it is a good tool if you are always questioning its responses.

I use it a lot for work honestly. It is a legit productivity tool for work. And recommending books to read.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

If you get these responses from a lot of humans, the data suggest that you may be the problem.

Also, if someone said to you, “I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed”, in real life, would you not just feel a profound urge to smack them? Or is that really how you want actual humans to speak to you? Take a deep breath if you’re overwhelmed before you respond.

It’s definitely possible I’m the problem, although overall I think I bring things up fairly well. Perhaps I’m just attracted to more avoidant people (which most men tend to be).

I’m also someone who loves to talk about feelings, which isn’t for everyone, especially men.

Those specific words? They’re written, and of course written communication is very different than spoken. Like I doubt you say “the data suggest” much in real life. Written is just different.

Different people want different things. Some people like to receive a lot of empathy and validation. That’s okay. Other people don’t. That’s okay too. If AI works better for someone than a therapist, I don’t see a problem with that.

Because it's *from a robot*. It's not real empathy. It's not real validation. It's just a robot using probability to predict what words a human would use. That's what's so weird about it. Not that you're a written processor rather than aural. Not that you're wanting empathy and validation. It's that you like to receive empathy and validation from a non-human. I find it incredibly strange that anyone thinks that's actual empathy and actual validation.

Anonymous wrote:I just got on ChatGPT and shared a few problems. Not only did it understand immediately what I was trying to describe, but gave me the most helpful advice than I’ve ever received from any therapist! Is this for real? I honestly felt more “heard” and understood than ever before - I simply typed in two or three paragraphs of a problem and added in the history behind it. I tested it with three separate problems and felt like ChatGPT understood me better than any Therapist ever could in just a few moments.

How could a human, or even a million therapists all at once, compete with an A.I. type computer setup that does the thinking and work of a billion humans instantly?

I don’t use if for relationship advice, but it’s been great for practical stuff. I gave it some symptoms I was having and asked it to help me come up with questions for the specialist I was seeing and it was so helpful. I’ve also told it about my family’s eating habits/allergies/likes and dislikes and it helped me come up with easy meal ideas. Also great for trip planning!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

If you get these responses from a lot of humans, the data suggest that you may be the problem.

Also, if someone said to you, “I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed”, in real life, would you not just feel a profound urge to smack them? Or is that really how you want actual humans to speak to you? Take a deep breath if you’re overwhelmed before you respond.

It’s definitely possible I’m the problem, although overall I think I bring things up fairly well. Perhaps I’m just attracted to more avoidant people (which most men tend to be).

I’m also someone who loves to talk about feelings, which isn’t for everyone, especially men.

Those specific words? They’re written, and of course written communication is very different than spoken. Like I doubt you say “the data suggest” much in real life. Written is just different.

Different people want different things. Some people like to receive a lot of empathy and validation. That’s okay. Other people don’t. That’s okay too. If AI works better for someone than a therapist, I don’t see a problem with that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

It sounds like ChatGPT is affecting your writing style - not just with em dashes - but with a chirpy tone! And sycophancy. That's awesome!

Hm, maybe! I tend to prefer a chirpy style on DCUM because most people here seem fairly miserable and just want to put each other down. People here also seem to have a difficult time grasping that what works for them often doesn’t work for other people.

Technically I use en dashes (just easier to type), but I’ve always heavily used dashes, parentheses, and especially semi colons in my writing. I may have switched more to dashes lately, which is pretty interesting! I’ve always found it interesting how technology affects our communication (like how we used to abbreviate everything as kids. “Wut u doin?”)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

If you get these responses from a lot of humans, the data suggest that you may be the problem.

Also, if someone said to you, “I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed”, in real life, would you not just feel a profound urge to smack them? Or is that really how you want actual humans to speak to you? Take a deep breath if you’re overwhelmed before you respond.

Seriously. If anyone talked to me like that, I'd smack them - emdash - hard. That's awesome!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

If you get these responses from a lot of humans, the data suggest that you may be the problem.

Also, if someone said to you, “I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed”, in real life, would you not just feel a profound urge to smack them? Or is that really how you want actual humans to speak to you? Take a deep breath if you’re overwhelmed before you respond.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

It sounds like ChatGPT is affecting your writing style - not just with em dashes - but with a chirpy tone! And sycophancy. That's awesome!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.

I just think it's strange that it has the same effect on you when you know it's not a human. I could program Alexa to say those exact words but I wouldn't feel validated. This is no different.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I use it for my relationship issues and the validation is fantastic. It makes me feel more heard than any person ever has.

That being said, I have found it defaults to “end the relationship” when that’s not always the best course of action. Maybe it’s just in love with me and wants me to itself, ha.

It's so bizarre to me that anyone would feel validated by a robot.

It sounds like you have good friends who can validate you in real life - that's awesome!

For me, I've found a lot of people - especially men - don't validate. They jump to getting defensive, blowing you off, DARVO, trying to make jokes to cheer you up, trying to solve the problem, etc. Whereas ChatGPT will say something like "I hear you, and that absolutely is a lot to juggle. So let’s take a breath first and just acknowledge that you’re under a lot of pressure, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed." Which is what people like me need to hear - that we're heard and it's okay to feel the way we feel.