Anonymous
11/14/2025 10:27
Subject: Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go
Anonymous wrote:
My son is anaphylactically allergic to peanuts and some tree nuts and my daughter is allergic to shellfish but is fine with fish. Since her allergy is not anaphylactic, she would be OK with a seafood restaurant. They both speak up clearly when there's a risk they could be served their allergen. You need to insert yourself at the correct time in the discussion, OP, if there is a risk you could end up in the hospital from a poor restaurant choice!!!
There is no reason to get offended. Either you speak up to save your own life; or you accept the restaurant choice because your allergy isn't that bad and you know you'll have other choices on the menu.
But this is on you. I have taught my children this from the time their allergies appeared, when they were little. People, even one's nearest and dearest, will forget. That's normal. It's YOUR job to decide whether you are medically fine with the options.
Well said.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 10:26
Subject: Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Get a salad. It should be about the company, not the meal.
+1
There are so many food intolerances these days it's hard to remember and plan around. If you can find SOMETHING at the restaurant to eat, go and be quiet about it. Don't be that person. I have a lot of tolerance for people with something like celiac. You don't like fish? Get over yourself.
She's ALLERGIC to fish. Be more thoughtful.
It's not airborne. She's allergic to SHELLFISH and can avoid eating SHELLFISH. boom, done.
How hard is it not to go to a seafood restaurant? A lot easier than actually going to a seafood restaurant, since most places are not seafood restaurants.
I eat everything and have no allergies, but it's so easy to remember other people's dietary restrictions and be thoughtful about it. I don't know why those without them sometimes get so strident about making people with issues just DEAL WITH IT. They're already DEALING WITH IT without their friends making them feel like they're whiny defective freaks.
A bunch of restaurants were thrown out and this one won. Next time it will be someplace else. It is one dinner - no one is making a big deal except OP. Go for the company and order a burger. I have friends who are diabetic, celiac, on keto, shellfish allergies, peanut allergies and on and on. This is a largish group. Go with the flow.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 10:25
Subject: Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go
Why would you choose a restaurant knowing one of your friends was not comfortable there for a medical reason? Weird.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 10:25
Subject: Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go
My son is anaphylactically allergic to peanuts and some tree nuts and my daughter is allergic to shellfish but is fine with fish. Since her allergy is not anaphylactic, she would be OK with a seafood restaurant. They both speak up clearly when there's a risk they could be served their allergen. You need to insert yourself at the correct time in the discussion, OP, if there is a risk you could end up in the hospital from a poor restaurant choice!!!
There is no reason to get offended. Either you speak up to save your own life; or you accept the restaurant choice because your allergy isn't that bad and you know you'll have other choices on the menu.
But this is on you. I have taught my children this from the time their allergies appeared, when they were little. People, even one's nearest and dearest, will forget. That's normal. It's YOUR job to decide whether you are medically fine with the options.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 10:22
Subject: Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Get a salad. It should be about the company, not the meal.
+1
There are so many food intolerances these days it's hard to remember and plan around. If you can find SOMETHING at the restaurant to eat, go and be quiet about it. Don't be that person. I have a lot of tolerance for people with something like celiac. You don't like fish? Get over yourself.
She's ALLERGIC to fish. Be more thoughtful.
She is allergic to shellfish, not all fish. I do not like fish but I would go to a seafood restaurant with friends and get something else. Most restaurants serve shellfish so I assume OP can survive if it exists around them. My friend group has a variety of allergies and aversions and we can accommodate most of the time, but those accommodations can be limiting and the group wants to try something different sometimes.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 10:21
Subject: Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Get a salad. It should be about the company, not the meal.
+1
There are so many food intolerances these days it's hard to remember and plan around. If you can find SOMETHING at the restaurant to eat, go and be quiet about it. Don't be that person. I have a lot of tolerance for people with something like celiac. You don't like fish? Get over yourself.
She's ALLERGIC to fish. Be more thoughtful.
It's not airborne. She's allergic to SHELLFISH and can avoid eating SHELLFISH. boom, done.
How hard is it not to go to a seafood restaurant? A lot easier than actually going to a seafood restaurant, since most places are not seafood restaurants.
I eat everything and have no allergies, but it's so easy to remember other people's dietary restrictions and be thoughtful about it. I don't know why those without them sometimes get so strident about making people with issues just DEAL WITH IT. They're already DEALING WITH IT without their friends making them feel like they're whiny defective freaks.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 10:19
Subject: Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go
Doubtful it’s deliberate and most seafood places do have nonseafood options.
But I would choose a place all my friends comfortable eating. Why wouldn’t you?
But I would choose a place all my friends comfortable eating. Why wouldn’t you?
Anonymous
11/14/2025 10:19
Subject: Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Did you reply that you don't eat at seafood restaurants due to your allergy?
OP here. I didn't reply at all because I don't want to make this about me. But Sarah knows my allergy and has seen me have an allergic reaction to a crab dip (thought it was artichoke dip) at a wedding a few years ago. I had to take a benadryl and go home.
I just would never suggest a place that I knew wouldn't work for someone. It seems deliberate.
OMG. You took a Benadryl and went home. You did not go to the hospital or whip out an epipen. Exhausting.
My friends have seen me go into anaphylaxis and I STILL wouldn't be offended or feel it was targeted if they forgot and suggested a seafood restaurant.
Honestly you sound like someone with very low esteem who is desperate for friends.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 10:18
Subject: Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Get a salad. It should be about the company, not the meal.
+1
There are so many food intolerances these days it's hard to remember and plan around. If you can find SOMETHING at the restaurant to eat, go and be quiet about it. Don't be that person. I have a lot of tolerance for people with something like celiac. You don't like fish? Get over yourself.
She's ALLERGIC to fish. Be more thoughtful.
It's not airborne. She's allergic to SHELLFISH and can avoid eating SHELLFISH. boom, done.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 10:17
Subject: Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Get a salad. It should be about the company, not the meal.
+1
There are so many food intolerances these days it's hard to remember and plan around. If you can find SOMETHING at the restaurant to eat, go and be quiet about it. Don't be that person. I have a lot of tolerance for people with something like celiac. You don't like fish? Get over yourself.
She's ALLERGIC to fish. Be more thoughtful.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 10:16
Subject: Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go
Do you have reason to believe your friend is trying to kill you??? Otherwise, she just forgot. Remind her and offer a backup.
Frankly, I cannot remember everyone's allergies and preferences anymore. I think more than half of the people I know, kids and adults, have serious allergies or very strict diets. (I do as well!) And they often contradict with each other. Sarah is highly allergic to nuts, but Susie is a vegetarian who actually eats a LOT of nuts, but Barb is gluten free.... So you really need to be proactive about this.
Frankly, I cannot remember everyone's allergies and preferences anymore. I think more than half of the people I know, kids and adults, have serious allergies or very strict diets. (I do as well!) And they often contradict with each other. Sarah is highly allergic to nuts, but Susie is a vegetarian who actually eats a LOT of nuts, but Barb is gluten free.... So you really need to be proactive about this.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 10:16
Subject: Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Did you reply that you don't eat at seafood restaurants due to your allergy?
OP here. I didn't reply at all because I don't want to make this about me. But Sarah knows my allergy and has seen me have an allergic reaction to a crab dip (thought it was artichoke dip) at a wedding a few years ago. I had to take a benadryl and go home.
I just would never suggest a place that I knew wouldn't work for someone. It seems deliberate.
OMG. You took a Benadryl and went home. You did not go to the hospital or whip out an epipen. Exhausting.
My friends have seen me go into anaphylaxis and I STILL wouldn't be offended or feel it was targeted if they forgot and suggested a seafood restaurant.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 10:15
Subject: Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Did you reply that you don't eat at seafood restaurants due to your allergy?
OP here. I didn't reply at all because I don't want to make this about me. But Sarah knows my allergy and has seen me have an allergic reaction to a crab dip (thought it was artichoke dip) at a wedding a few years ago. I had to take a benadryl and go home.
I just would never suggest a place that I knew wouldn't work for someone. It seems deliberate.
Ridiculous main character syndrome here thinking it is deliberate. Several years ago you had to take a Bendryl? Yeah, people won't remember that. You weren't airlifted out by helo to save your life from airborne exposure to save your life or even need an epipen. Drama queen. Order something else.
Proof of shitty people in the world, OP. I agree it's deliberate if she saw you leave an event with a reaction two summers ago. If she can't remember that she either is a drunk/druggie or has a TBI.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 10:14
Subject: Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Did you reply that you don't eat at seafood restaurants due to your allergy?
OP here. I didn't reply at all because I don't want to make this about me. But Sarah knows my allergy and has seen me have an allergic reaction to a crab dip (thought it was artichoke dip) at a wedding a few years ago. I had to take a benadryl and go home.
I just would never suggest a place that I knew wouldn't work for someone. It seems deliberate.
I just saw this. It’s ABSURD to not say anything and then be mad that people didn’t read your mind. Either you “don’t want it to be about me” so you go with the flow and happily order a salad, or you don’t want to go to that restaurant so you SAY “that’s not a good pick for me.” Use your words like a grown up.
Expecting Sarah to have an immediate recall of a day you had to take benedryl is insane. Plus, even if she does remember about your shellfish allergy, she might have just seen that you didn’t object, shrugged her shoulders, and assumed you’d be happy with fish.
Not going, once you all agreed on a date and time, and YOU didn’t bother to speak up, is rude as all get out. Go and eat a salad and next time use your words like a grown up.
Anonymous
11/14/2025 10:13
Subject: Friend Group Dinners At Restaurants You'd Never Go
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Did you reply that you don't eat at seafood restaurants due to your allergy?
OP here. I didn't reply at all because I don't want to make this about me. But Sarah knows my allergy and has seen me have an allergic reaction to a crab dip (thought it was artichoke dip) at a wedding a few years ago. I had to take a benadryl and go home.
I just would never suggest a place that I knew wouldn't work for someone. It seems deliberate.
OMG. You took a Benadryl and went home. You did not go to the hospital or whip out an epipen. Exhausting.