Why aren’t you directly talking to the mom? I’m confused by this. 5 year olds are not reliable narrators. Call the mom and ask if you can host her for a play date.

Get together, not gather. Typo.

Ask the mom either in person or in text
“ hi Larla, are you around this weekend for the girks to gather together”
Larla: “ yes Saturday works “
“ great, do you want them to come to you this time, or me again”

It’s really odd that you are taking this so intensely personally and dressing that up as concern for the child.

have you never wanted a 6 year old to stop asking you the same question? or maybe you just say something without thinking?

I told my kid we couldn't do something the other day because it was dark outside. it wasn't true. I can drive in the dark. I was just overwhelmed and trying to get dinner on the table and juggle things and just wanted the conversation to end.

you're reading too much into this

Anonymous wrote:I do this when I can't stand the parent/kid and have zero interest in my kid being friends with yours.

She hates you boo

Learn how to convey your message clearly OP

Pretty sure that if you bring this up with the mom, that will be the last playdate with this girl...

I would not give this any more thought.

As others have said, kindergartners are not reliable narrators at all. For all you know, the parents said “WE are too busy” and the kid misheard or misinterpreted or preferred to change the story up for whatever reason. Even if the parents DID say that, this isn’t something that would hurt a typical kindergartener’s feelings in the way you seem to think.

Just keep asking the girl over to your house when you like, or suggesting meetups at the park or wherever. Throughout your kid’s childhood, you will find that some parents don’t care to host much in their homes- for whatever reason.

I avoided hosting for a period of time when my DH was struggling with mental health issues. I did make excuses to my young kids - usually that WE were too busy or because of our renovations (which were indeed occurring- so mot a lie- but wouldn’t have been an issue in terms of hosting a play date either).

Anonymous wrote:My house is messy. When my kids were young I did not have a spare day to make everything presentable to host.

By which I mean:

All loose objects put away.

All papers sorted.

Kitchen/dining table empty of stuff, new tablecloth

Floor swept/vacuumed.

Powder room fully cleaned.

That's easily hours more work than a 2-3 hour playmate deserves.

Somehow I don't think most kids care whether all your papers are sorted and if you have a new tablecloth. But clearly it bugs you, so...

Anonymous wrote:My husband is a hoarder. Only my very close friends come over, those that knew us before we moved into this house and watched it clutter up.

Sorry, OP.

As a child of hoarder, it’s terrible life. Please consider taking your kids out of this situation! I know it seems ok if it’s not filthy but the whole shame around it is damaging for the kids.

OP, you were very clear that you have no issue with this family never reciprocating (I’m the same way) but feel bothered that the other mother lied in a way that was damaging to your daughter’s friendship, even in a really minor way. I think it would have been fine to say oh, we were available and would have loved to see you! So sad we didn’t get to make that happen. So she can go ask her mom and the mom can come up with a different lie next time.

But since the moment is past I would try to let it go and if you want to keep this friendship alive emphasize that you LOVE hosting and really prefer it and it’s so nice that they have been willing to come to you next time you talk to the mom. Give her a way to save face and keep the friendship alive (if you want to). I try really hard to not hold parents’s weirdness against the kids.

^playdate

My house is messy. When my kids were young I did not have a spare day to make everything presentable to host.

By which I mean:

All loose objects put away.

All papers sorted.

Kitchen/dining table empty of stuff, new tablecloth

Floor swept/vacuumed.

Powder room fully cleaned.

That's easily hours more work than a 2-3 hour playmate deserves.

I have 4 kids ages 13, 10, 8, and 6. I would NOT confront the parent about this, I think it would make you seem extremely weird and unstable.
The kid is not a reliable historian, she is too young. I wouldn’t give it a second thought.
People have busy lives and their 6 year olds social calendar is not always top of mind or top of their to do list (as is appropriate). Just stay in your own lane and don’t think about this anymore.