Anonymous wrote:My son is a junior and my daughter is in 8th grade. My daughter is laser focused and convinced she is going to college and loves school in general. My son just wants to start working as soon as he is done with HS. He is not really interested in going to college. It's unfortunate because he is a bright kid and he is doing really well in math with minimal effort. He is averaging 93% in calculus as a junior.

When I look at data it's clear more women are going to college as opposed to men. Or, are we pushing women towards college and men away from college? As of now I think college grads still earn more than non college grads no?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask your son what he plans to do if he doesn't go to college. His good grades will still be there if he decides he wants to attend later.

I taught at the University level. There was a percentage of 18/19 year olds who took their classes seriously, but I found a far higher percentage of 21/22 old freshmen who took their classes seriously. The older students had a better idea of why they were at school and what they wanted to get out of it. I found that my older students skipped class less and were better prepared. They utilized office hours more. They were at college to do more than party.

If he is not ready to go to school, let him take the time to find what he wants to do. I would require he work and pay rent at home and help with utilities or move out.

I would also remind you that college for girls is relatively new. It was a big deal that my mom and her sisters attended college in the 1950's, they all ended up teaching, but college was not something that was openly encouraged for girls. Some schools did not allow girls to enroll or enroll in specific majors. While those hurdles have been overcome, there is still a gap in the percentage of boys in STEM related fields and girls. My kids Advanced Math class in ES was 2/3 boys. You cannot tell me that there was not an equal number of girls good at math but there were plenty of boys who were good at math whose parents pushed hard for them to be in Advanced Math. The various STEM camps and activities my kid participated in we 75% or more boys.

There was a push to make college for accessible to girls. Now the push is to balance out the STEM numbers because they are strangely imbalanced. Society as a whole is working through generations of stereotypes about boys and girls.

I disagree. I think there were always elite "finishing schools". I mean in the 1950's college was pretty much new for everyone. GI Bill etc.

Was it really that much different than it is today? I kind of don't think it is. Boys study this Girls study that. It's mostly just social sorting. Boys that aren't from the upper middle class don't get much out of the deal. No job offers at wealth management firms, law offices, tech companies etc. Go home and show your family how smart you are, you'll make your mom proud sort of stuff only goes so far, until they ask when you'll start working.

Sorry, but this is a really ignorant comment. A tiny fraction of rich girls went to "elite finishing schools" and the subject matter was not academic. But universities for boys were old and established long before the 1950s.

Women born in 1950 or earlier largely did not go to college. Many families actively discouraged it and many schools in the 60s-70s limited enrollment or what classes you could take. Even in the 90s, women had trouble getting professor time, lab time, etc. It was very different from today.

I don't know why you think anybody MC/LMC gets wealth management jobs, those are for people with money and connections. Deciding that the only good jobs are wealth management or tech might be part of the problem, though. I think at least some of these boys are responding to a very narrow idea if what career success looks like.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Ask your son what he plans to do if he doesn't go to college. His good grades will still be there if he decides he wants to attend later.

I taught at the University level. There was a percentage of 18/19 year olds who took their classes seriously, but I found a far higher percentage of 21/22 old freshmen who took their classes seriously. The older students had a better idea of why they were at school and what they wanted to get out of it. I found that my older students skipped class less and were better prepared. They utilized office hours more. They were at college to do more than party.

If he is not ready to go to school, let him take the time to find what he wants to do. I would require he work and pay rent at home and help with utilities or move out.

I would also remind you that college for girls is relatively new. It was a big deal that my mom and her sisters attended college in the 1950's, they all ended up teaching, but college was not something that was openly encouraged for girls. Some schools did not allow girls to enroll or enroll in specific majors. While those hurdles have been overcome, there is still a gap in the percentage of boys in STEM related fields and girls. My kids Advanced Math class in ES was 2/3 boys. You cannot tell me that there was not an equal number of girls good at math but there were plenty of boys who were good at math whose parents pushed hard for them to be in Advanced Math. The various STEM camps and activities my kid participated in we 75% or more boys.

There was a push to make college for accessible to girls. Now the push is to balance out the STEM numbers because they are strangely imbalanced. Society as a whole is working through generations of stereotypes about boys and girls.

I disagree. I think there were always elite "finishing schools". I mean in the 1950's college was pretty much new for everyone. GI Bill etc.

Was it really that much different than it is today? I kind of don't think it is. Boys study this Girls study that. It's mostly just social sorting. Boys that aren't from the upper middle class don't get much out of the deal. No job offers at wealth management firms, law offices, tech companies etc. Go home and show your family how smart you are, you'll make your mom proud sort of stuff only goes so far, until they ask when you'll start working.

Anonymous wrote:Ask your son what he plans to do if he doesn't go to college. His good grades will still be there if he decides he wants to attend later.

I taught at the University level. There was a percentage of 18/19 year olds who took their classes seriously, but I found a far higher percentage of 21/22 old freshmen who took their classes seriously. The older students had a better idea of why they were at school and what they wanted to get out of it. I found that my older students skipped class less and were better prepared. They utilized office hours more. They were at college to do more than party.

If he is not ready to go to school, let him take the time to find what he wants to do. I would require he work and pay rent at home and help with utilities or move out.

I would also remind you that college for girls is relatively new. It was a big deal that my mom and her sisters attended college in the 1950's, they all ended up teaching, but college was not something that was openly encouraged for girls. Some schools did not allow girls to enroll or enroll in specific majors. While those hurdles have been overcome, there is still a gap in the percentage of boys in STEM related fields and girls. My kids Advanced Math class in ES was 2/3 boys. You cannot tell me that there was not an equal number of girls good at math but there were plenty of boys who were good at math whose parents pushed hard for them to be in Advanced Math. The various STEM camps and activities my kid participated in we 75% or more boys.

There was a push to make college for accessible to girls. Now the push is to balance out the STEM numbers because they are strangely imbalanced. Society as a whole is working through generations of stereotypes about boys and girls.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My son is a junior and my daughter is in 8th grade. My daughter is laser focused and convinced she is going to college and loves school in general. My son just wants to start working as soon as he is done with HS. He is not really interested in going to college. It's unfortunate because he is a bright kid and he is doing really well in math with minimal effort. He is averaging 93% in calculus as a junior.

When I look at data it's clear more women are going to college as opposed to men. Or, are we pushing women towards college and men away from college? As of now I think college grads still earn more than non college grads no?

I have a boy and a girl, and they have the same reactions. My boy has even brought up inlisting because he wants to be a pilot. I really sacrificed to fund their 529 plans, and he can use the 529 plan money on his flight training as part of a degree. If he enlists, there is no guarantee that he will get to fly. I can't even believe we're having this conversation - I'm literally offering him a free 4-year degree with flight training anywhere he wants to go, dangling fun study abroad programs, etc, and he's acting like it's a waste of time.

Anonymous wrote:My son is a junior and my daughter is in 8th grade. My daughter is laser focused and convinced she is going to college and loves school in general. My son just wants to start working as soon as he is done with HS. He is not really interested in going to college. It's unfortunate because he is a bright kid and he is doing really well in math with minimal effort. He is averaging 93% in calculus as a junior.

When I look at data it's clear more women are going to college as opposed to men. Or, are we pushing women towards college and men away from college? As of now I think college grads still earn more than non college grads no?

Anonymous wrote:Ask your son what he plans to do if he doesn't go to college. His good grades will still be there if he decides he wants to attend later.

I taught at the University level. There was a percentage of 18/19 year olds who took their classes seriously, but I found a far higher percentage of 21/22 old freshmen who took their classes seriously. The older students had a better idea of why they were at school and what they wanted to get out of it. I found that my older students skipped class less and were better prepared. They utilized office hours more. They were at college to do more than party.

If he is not ready to go to school, let him take the time to find what he wants to do. I would require he work and pay rent at home and help with utilities or move out.

I would also remind you that college for girls is relatively new. It was a big deal that my mom and her sisters attended college in the 1950's, they all ended up teaching, but college was not something that was openly encouraged for girls. Some schools did not allow girls to enroll or enroll in specific majors. While those hurdles have been overcome, there is still a gap in the percentage of boys in STEM related fields and girls. My kids Advanced Math class in ES was 2/3 boys. You cannot tell me that there was not an equal number of girls good at math but there were plenty of boys who were good at math whose parents pushed hard for them to be in Advanced Math. The various STEM camps and activities my kid participated in we 75% or more boys.

There was a push to make college for accessible to girls. Now the push is to balance out the STEM numbers because they are strangely imbalanced. Society as a whole is working through generations of stereotypes about boys and girls.