Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 13:03     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DS is 12, May birthday. Was a preemie and small for his age.

We are a military family and have moved a lot. He has been in 4 different schools. Between Covid and all changes in schools he has gaps that is making 7th grade really hard. He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd.

We are considering have him do 8th next year at the school he is at, and then having him do 8th and we move(our final move) the following year. What are your thoughts?


It's a big "if" because not all schools are going to let kids repeat grades willy nilly just because the parents think their kid is small and has adhd. Half of kids are below the average height, that's statistics 101. You will need to find a private school with a strong culture of encouraging redshirting that will let you "reclass" as they euphemistically call retention.


Usually, if you are coming from outside of their district, and in OPs case, an entirely different state, they won’t even notice or care. The paperwork just asks what grade your child will be enrolling for. We did this for my son, but it was 6th he repeated. They didn’t ask for anything at all for the other school and just put him where I said he belonged. They didn’t even ask for test scores or anything. I can’t imagine a public school caring or push8ng back if they have zero records on OPs kid and there is room in the grade they want to enroll.


They didn’t ask because it all happens behind the scenes. At the secondary level (where I work) our registrar reaches out to the old school and gets copies of transcripts and tests scores and behavior records and IEPs. I assume it is the same at elementary.

I am sure some schools are less thorough, but I have absolutely had a child move into my class in October once records came in and the school realized he was supposed to be in 8th grade, not 7th.


No, they didn’t ask bc they didn’t care and never got them. I know this for a fact


Ok, but your anecdote doesn't mean that this will happen with all kids. We moved into MCPS from out of state and they didn't ask me "what grade did I want to put my kid in." They asked me for the records/transcripts from the prior school.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 13:02     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?

My twice exceptional ex-preemie with ADHD, ASD, low processing speed and dyscalculia repeated a grade in elementary school, then got so bored he skipped back to his age group. Then in middle and high, we hired tutors for him, first in writing, because his ADHD made it very hard for him to overcome writer's block and organize his thoughts on paper; then in math, because he had been receiving math support from us all throughout his life, but it got a little burdensome and we were relieved to have tutors take over

Socially, it's a bit fraught to have him repeat a grade at his age. I would do intensive tutoring year round, even in the summer. I think it will be significantly more efficient, OP. His inattention means that any group learning in class will have its limits.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 12:58     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?

Anonymous wrote:DS is 12, May birthday. Was a preemie and small for his age.

We are a military family and have moved a lot. He has been in 4 different schools. Between Covid and all changes in schools he has gaps that is making 7th grade really hard. He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd.

We are considering have him do 8th next year at the school he is at, and then having him do 8th and we move(our final move) the following year. What are your thoughts?


I was a military brat. I was held back at one point right after a PCS for similar reasons. It worked well.

This year and next, supplement outside school — primarily in math but also in areas where he is getting Cs. Supplement might be as simple as buying Kumon math workbooks from Barnes & Noble and systematically going through them 1-2 pages daily (every day) to give him more practice. (Other options also exist for math supplementing, at various price points, but Kumon is really great for reinforcement.) Make sure he is a fluent reader; for this reading either fiction or non-fiction is fine, but reading anime/cartoon books is not fine. Make sure he reads regularly during summers.

Agree that repeating a grade at the new school right after PCS would be good for him. He would be older, probably bigger, more mature, and it also would help with the inevitable social adjustment needed after a PCS. Stay on top of his academics even after the move, and reinforce where grades or teachers or other indicators suggest. Different school systems will have different curricula, even if both locations claim to be using “Common Core”, so it is very common to find 2-3 academic holes right after any PCS.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 09:10     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd."

I think this is an ADHD problem. You mention he is above average in reading and average in math, but the grades aren't translating. I'd look into medication and a tutor.

This. You’re going to have a kid who feels like a failure needlessly. Get him meds and tutoring/summer school to fill the learning gaps.

Another thought - since he’s above average in reading and average in math, he will be SO bored repeating 8th, which could lead to less interest/engagement and, especially for a boy with inattentive ADD, even worse grades.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 09:08     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?

Anonymous wrote:"He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd."

I think this is an ADHD problem. You mention he is above average in reading and average in math, but the grades aren't translating. I'd look into medication and a tutor.

This. You’re going to have a kid who feels like a failure needlessly. Get him meds and tutoring/summer school to fill the learning gaps.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 09:08     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?

Your child isn’t going to grow out of the ADHD simply by holding them back He’s a May birthday. What are you doing to address his deficits? Does he have an IEP or a 504? Does he have tutors? Your only solution thus far is hold him back??
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 09:04     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?

Anonymous wrote:"He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd."

I think this is an ADHD problem. You mention he is above average in reading and average in math, but the grades aren't translating. I'd look into medication and a tutor.


That’s what I said - I was the very first comment.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 08:29     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DS is 12, May birthday. Was a preemie and small for his age.

We are a military family and have moved a lot. He has been in 4 different schools. Between Covid and all changes in schools he has gaps that is making 7th grade really hard. He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd.

We are considering have him do 8th next year at the school he is at, and then having him do 8th and we move(our final move) the following year. What are your thoughts?


It's a big "if" because not all schools are going to let kids repeat grades willy nilly just because the parents think their kid is small and has adhd. Half of kids are below the average height, that's statistics 101. You will need to find a private school with a strong culture of encouraging redshirting that will let you "reclass" as they euphemistically call retention.


Usually, if you are coming from outside of their district, and in OPs case, an entirely different state, they won’t even notice or care. The paperwork just asks what grade your child will be enrolling for. We did this for my son, but it was 6th he repeated. They didn’t ask for anything at all for the other school and just put him where I said he belonged. They didn’t even ask for test scores or anything. I can’t imagine a public school caring or push8ng back if they have zero records on OPs kid and there is room in the grade they want to enroll.


They didn’t ask because it all happens behind the scenes. At the secondary level (where I work) our registrar reaches out to the old school and gets copies of transcripts and tests scores and behavior records and IEPs. I assume it is the same at elementary.

I am sure some schools are less thorough, but I have absolutely had a child move into my class in October once records came in and the school realized he was supposed to be in 8th grade, not 7th.


No, they didn’t ask bc they didn’t care and never got them. I know this for a fact
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 08:26     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?

Anonymous wrote:Public school won’t allow it. They don’t want to pay to educate a kid more years than they have to. That’s expensive. They’ll ask for transcripts, see that you’ve already finished 8th grade, and enroll him in 9th. The only way you may get around it is if he fails all of the 8th grade core classes. I’ve had kids move into my class mid year when delayed transcripts came through from the old school and they realize the kid already finished the prior grade.

Private schools will happily do this. You’re paying, they won’t care.

But the bigger issue is resolving the adhd struggles. Is he medicated? Working with a tutor or therapist to learn coping skills and strategies?


They may not ask for anything at all. Our school didn’t when we enrolled. We just filled in what grade we wanted to enroll in and that was that. If it isn’t high school, they may not ask for anything at all. It’s not like you need to prove credit hours. Kids enroll in public schools k-8 all the time all throughout the year with zero transcripts.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 08:26     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DS is 12, May birthday. Was a preemie and small for his age.

We are a military family and have moved a lot. He has been in 4 different schools. Between Covid and all changes in schools he has gaps that is making 7th grade really hard. He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd.

We are considering have him do 8th next year at the school he is at, and then having him do 8th and we move(our final move) the following year. What are your thoughts?


It's a big "if" because not all schools are going to let kids repeat grades willy nilly just because the parents think their kid is small and has adhd. Half of kids are below the average height, that's statistics 101. You will need to find a private school with a strong culture of encouraging redshirting that will let you "reclass" as they euphemistically call retention.


Usually, if you are coming from outside of their district, and in OPs case, an entirely different state, they won’t even notice or care. The paperwork just asks what grade your child will be enrolling for. We did this for my son, but it was 6th he repeated. They didn’t ask for anything at all for the other school and just put him where I said he belonged. They didn’t even ask for test scores or anything. I can’t imagine a public school caring or push8ng back if they have zero records on OPs kid and there is room in the grade they want to enroll.


They didn’t ask because it all happens behind the scenes. At the secondary level (where I work) our registrar reaches out to the old school and gets copies of transcripts and tests scores and behavior records and IEPs. I assume it is the same at elementary.

I am sure some schools are less thorough, but I have absolutely had a child move into my class in October once records came in and the school realized he was supposed to be in 8th grade, not 7th.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 07:58     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?

Public school won’t allow it. They don’t want to pay to educate a kid more years than they have to. That’s expensive. They’ll ask for transcripts, see that you’ve already finished 8th grade, and enroll him in 9th. The only way you may get around it is if he fails all of the 8th grade core classes. I’ve had kids move into my class mid year when delayed transcripts came through from the old school and they realize the kid already finished the prior grade.

Private schools will happily do this. You’re paying, they won’t care.

But the bigger issue is resolving the adhd struggles. Is he medicated? Working with a tutor or therapist to learn coping skills and strategies?
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 07:38     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?

Anonymous wrote:Yes repeat 8th grade. He will thank you in high school for not being so small and less mature.


May birthdays usually aren’t held back. Have you had him tested for LD?
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 07:30     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:DS is 12, May birthday. Was a preemie and small for his age.

We are a military family and have moved a lot. He has been in 4 different schools. Between Covid and all changes in schools he has gaps that is making 7th grade really hard. He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd.

We are considering have him do 8th next year at the school he is at, and then having him do 8th and we move(our final move) the following year. What are your thoughts?


It's a big "if" because not all schools are going to let kids repeat grades willy nilly just because the parents think their kid is small and has adhd. Half of kids are below the average height, that's statistics 101. You will need to find a private school with a strong culture of encouraging redshirting that will let you "reclass" as they euphemistically call retention.


Usually, if you are coming from outside of their district, and in OPs case, an entirely different state, they won’t even notice or care. The paperwork just asks what grade your child will be enrolling for. We did this for my son, but it was 6th he repeated. They didn’t ask for anything at all for the other school and just put him where I said he belonged. They didn’t even ask for test scores or anything. I can’t imagine a public school caring or push8ng back if they have zero records on OPs kid and there is room in the grade they want to enroll.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 07:23     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?

Anonymous wrote:Yes repeat 8th grade. He will thank you in high school for not being so small and less mature.


Agree. Don’t even worry about his age. I would absolutely do 8th grade twice, especially if it will be a completely new school/state.
Anonymous
Post 11/11/2025 06:33     Subject: Major gaps in education. Would you repeat?

"He is making B and Cs in most classes and has a D in math. Diagnostic testing shows his above average in reading and average in math. He is extremely well behaved, but does have inattentive adhd."

I think this is an ADHD problem. You mention he is above average in reading and average in math, but the grades aren't translating. I'd look into medication and a tutor.