Two interpretations.
1) normal work hours are later than commonly done eg always leave at 7
2) work latervthan usual eg usually leave 5:30 but work till 7.

1 requires prior adjustments but is status quo
2 requires same day notice to home so they don't wonder if you are dead and handle dinner without you

I sometimes work that late and don’t text, but we don’t have kids. If kids dinner needs to be figured out, and especially if there is driving kids involved, he should be arranging that with you.

Depends on what’s usual and depends on what home responsibilities are being missed.

We both finish work by 5 and are home by 5:45. We also have three kids under six. If one of us is going to be home at 6 (just 15 mins past our usual time!) that is late and we would text each other.

If I was an empty nester who was usually home between 6 and 6:30, but it was pretty whatever, then 7 might not really be late.

Depends on the regular schedule. We both are home by 5/5:30. So 7 is late late.

Yes!! I like to work very early and end early.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s nothing nefarious he’s just a workaholic. I often feel like I’m being gaslight that it’s a totally normal time for someone to work until and that it’s totally normal to just assume your spouse will make dinner and drive your children wherever they need to go.

Before I had kids, I did work until 6:45 a lot.

My family eats at 7:30-ish.

I have a short commute.

Now I try to be home by 7. Leaving at 6:30.

I'm the mom. Dad cooks.

The time doesn’t matter for being late. It matters if you are deviating from your own normal. My spouse and I text if we are going to be more than a half hour later than our normal.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s nothing nefarious he’s just a workaholic. I often feel like I’m being gaslight that it’s a totally normal time for someone to work until and that it’s totally normal to just assume your spouse will make dinner and drive your children wherever they need to go.

Mmmm Hmmmm.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s nothing nefarious he’s just a workaholic. I often feel like I’m being gaslight that it’s a totally normal time for someone to work until and that it’s totally normal to just assume your spouse will make dinner and drive your children wherever they need to go.

So much of this depends on his job and his role. Sometimes you can't just leave at 5.

Anonymous wrote:OP here. It’s nothing nefarious he’s just a workaholic. I often feel like I’m being gaslight that it’s a totally normal time for someone to work until and that it’s totally normal to just assume your spouse will make dinner and drive your children wherever they need to go.

I have a job that requires 11-13 hour days in order to stay afloat. My DH works 8-9 hours a day, so he takes the lead on dinner and kid care. I make up for it by doing the morning stuff on weekends. It’s what works for our family.

Before we had kids, totally normal. Post-kids, it's working late. If you have kids, your partner should try to come home for dinner and log back on later.

Pre-kids, no. After kids are over 10, no. In between, yes.

Not late.

OP here. It’s nothing nefarious he’s just a workaholic. I often feel like I’m being gaslight that it’s a totally normal time for someone to work until and that it’s totally normal to just assume your spouse will make dinner and drive your children wherever they need to go.

It depends. My team is on the west coast. I start work at 11am. 7pm isn’t late for me.