Anonymous
11/13/2025 10:33
Subject: Not staying with family at thanksgiving
I do not understand people who are insulted you do not want to sleep on their basement sida bed with your two kids in sleeping bags sharing 1 bathroom two floors up with your cousin and her 4 kids
Anonymous
11/13/2025 10:32
Subject: Re:Not staying with family at thanksgiving
Old people love big family sleepovers. The old people always have a bed.
Anonymous
11/13/2025 10:30
Subject: Not staying with family at thanksgiving
You don't get to hold adult status, equal adult status AND not occasionally act in a way other than what someone else wants.
Anonymous
11/13/2025 10:25
Subject: Not staying with family at thanksgiving
The specific accommodations don't even need to decide this. You know what's needed to be at your best self and sometimes that's less togetherness. That's ok.
Anonymous
11/13/2025 09:40
Subject: Re:Not staying with family at thanksgiving
We stay at a hotel for thanksgiving as well. when the kids were younger, they stayed at my parents but now they stay at the hotel as well. My parents were definitely upset the first year or two but honestly they are used to it now. We didn't do a whole explanation, just booked the rooms.
Anonymous
11/13/2025 09:22
Subject: Not staying with family at thanksgiving
Anonymous wrote:Jeezus, your parents are ridiculous. You’re a grown woman. You don’t want to jostle for the bathroom or sleep on the floor. Why can’t they grasp that basic VERY REASONABLE fact?
If they’re upset, that’s their problem and they’ll get over it. Do not engage or waste any more energy on worrying about their feelings over this.
+1
I doubt they would want to sleep on the floor.
Anonymous
11/13/2025 09:04
Subject: Not staying with family at thanksgiving
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'd never make an adult sleep on the floor. That's for kids and sleepovers.
+1 I haven't slept on the floor since I was in college and then there was alcohol involved in that decision.
LOL! 😂
Ha. And I bet at the time it was so very very logical and reasonable and the floor was PERFECTION.
Can't say that today though, at the parent's house. Unless of course, alcohol.
Anonymous
11/13/2025 07:14
Subject: Not staying with family at thanksgiving
Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe you are even willing to travel if you have work Wed and Fri! When will YOU get rest Op? Unfortunately I did try to establish boundaries with issues like these with ILs for a very long time and finally ended up not going anymore. My own mom and sister are narcs, but the one thing my mom did was right was make sure we had space and felt welcome when visiting as she wanted to see her grandchildren.
I will never forget when we traveled to ILs and asked that they board the cat if they would not “allow us” to stay at a hotel due to my severe allergy - this cat would climb onto me when I was asleep and my eyes would swell shut. There was no door on the living room where they insisted we sleep on the sofa couch. We happened to come back from the store as we forgot something our first day in town and I saw MIL and FIL sneaking the cat into the house after telling us he was staying with a boarding place for the weekend. We left, with our 2 year old in tow and never stayed over again. MIL told everyone I was lying about my allergy because I was too good to sleep on her sofa. We are estranged now 16 years later. I sure do not miss her 50 year old percolator making chock full ‘o nuts coffee on Thanksgiving despite BIL gifting them a coffee pot and a k cup maker.
Good for you for leaving and not going back. Those types of immature people are so rude and selfish.
To be fair, though, K cups are nasty.
Anonymous
11/13/2025 07:09
Subject: Not staying with family at thanksgiving
I can’t believe you are even willing to travel if you have work Wed and Fri! When will YOU get rest Op? Unfortunately I did try to establish boundaries with issues like these with ILs for a very long time and finally ended up not going anymore. My own mom and sister are narcs, but the one thing my mom did was right was make sure we had space and felt welcome when visiting as she wanted to see her grandchildren.
I will never forget when we traveled to ILs and asked that they board the cat if they would not “allow us” to stay at a hotel due to my severe allergy - this cat would climb onto me when I was asleep and my eyes would swell shut. There was no door on the living room where they insisted we sleep on the sofa couch. We happened to come back from the store as we forgot something our first day in town and I saw MIL and FIL sneaking the cat into the house after telling us he was staying with a boarding place for the weekend. We left, with our 2 year old in tow and never stayed over again. MIL told everyone I was lying about my allergy because I was too good to sleep on her sofa. We are estranged now 16 years later. I sure do not miss her 50 year old percolator making chock full ‘o nuts coffee on Thanksgiving despite BIL gifting them a coffee pot and a k cup maker.
I will never forget when we traveled to ILs and asked that they board the cat if they would not “allow us” to stay at a hotel due to my severe allergy - this cat would climb onto me when I was asleep and my eyes would swell shut. There was no door on the living room where they insisted we sleep on the sofa couch. We happened to come back from the store as we forgot something our first day in town and I saw MIL and FIL sneaking the cat into the house after telling us he was staying with a boarding place for the weekend. We left, with our 2 year old in tow and never stayed over again. MIL told everyone I was lying about my allergy because I was too good to sleep on her sofa. We are estranged now 16 years later. I sure do not miss her 50 year old percolator making chock full ‘o nuts coffee on Thanksgiving despite BIL gifting them a coffee pot and a k cup maker.
Anonymous
11/13/2025 07:01
Subject: Not staying with family at thanksgiving
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I'd never make an adult sleep on the floor. That's for kids and sleepovers.
+1 I haven't slept on the floor since I was in college and then there was alcohol involved in that decision.
LOL! 😂
Anonymous
11/13/2025 03:43
Subject: Not staying with family at thanksgiving
I’m visiting mom and sister right now. They have a three story house with four apartments. I’m staying at a hotel. My vacation and rest is more important than their narc desires. Both have severe narc traits. Grown people make their own vacation plans and don’t feel obligated to defend them to insane people.
Anonymous
11/11/2025 13:03
Subject: Not staying with family at thanksgiving
Anonymous wrote:I'd never make an adult sleep on the floor. That's for kids and sleepovers.
+1 I haven't slept on the floor since I was in college and then there was alcohol involved in that decision.
Anonymous
11/11/2025 10:02
Subject: Re:Not staying with family at thanksgiving
Lean into the work and zoom call excuse. BUT, make sure that you tell them that the zoom calls and work is happening with an off-shore team in other country and the time zone is different. Because you probably want to spend time with your family, just not share sleeping space and bathrooms with them.
Anonymous
11/11/2025 01:11
Subject: Not staying with family at thanksgiving
Hotels were invented for situations like these. I imagine your parents aren’t the part of the “team” expected to sleep on the floor, and their bedroom has an ensuite?
Anonymous
11/10/2025 22:30
Subject: Not staying with family at thanksgiving
My in-laws are like this. They are fine with putting grown adults on 30 year old pull out sofas and regular sofas. They don’t care if the living room has no door or their hot water tank has no hope of keeping up.
I endured the first couple years trying to be a good DIL and then decided to just let them be mad. It’s not my problem.
I endured the first couple years trying to be a good DIL and then decided to just let them be mad. It’s not my problem.