Oh and they’ll need to hire a dog walker on school days

Anonymous wrote:The thing is... if your kids really want the dog, you are going to break their hearts. And they will remember that forever.

The in-laws are awful people, because you lose either way: you're going to have a dog in your house, or you're going to be the villain to your kids.

I'm really sorry, OP. I assume this is part of a pattern from the in-laws.

I love puppies but out of those two choices, keeping the puppy will be the most difficult. You'll be back to sleepless baby nights for potty breaks and then horrible teething while in baby shark stage (which feels like forever) and training consistency which is stressful for everyone, especially kids in school. This has to be rooted in commitment, not surprise. The puppy is the one in for heartbreak when op realizes going along with it is chipping away at her sanitu.

If you aren’t willing to send the dog home with the in laws, then let the teen kids know that the dog is 100% their responsibility. They pay for the food, they walk it, they feed it, they train it, they take it to the vet (you can drive them and accompany them if they’re under 18). They pay the vet bills. They may have to quit sports or after school clubs in order to come home and take care of the dog when it’s in the puppy stage and can’t be crated for 8 hours during the day. If they can’t do this after a week or two, the dog goes. They will at least have realized how much work it is.

Anonymous wrote:The thing is... if your kids really want the dog, you are going to break their hearts. And they will remember that forever.

The in-laws are awful people, because you lose either way: you're going to have a dog in your house, or you're going to be the villain to your kids.

I'm really sorry, OP. I assume this is part of a pattern from the in-laws.

No, OP isn’t the bad guy. Her husband is. They’re his parents. She needs to have a come to Jesus with him and he can be the bad guy who sends the dog to live with his parents.

It’s so wrong to give a living an animal
As a gift especially to a person who doesn’t want it.
Having said that, maybe try to care for it for a week? See if the kids step up? They’re both old enough. My 13yo walks our dog before school 3x a week when I work early.
If after a week it’s not working, reach out to a rescue group and see if they can help you get it adopted?
What breed of dog is it?

Is it possible they have some animosity towards you?
Is it possible they got themselves a puppy but became overwhelmed by the care and decided to offload it?
I would be asking them how this course of actions came about

The thing is... if your kids really want the dog, you are going to break their hearts. And they will remember that forever.

The in-laws are awful people, because you lose either way: you're going to have a dog in your house, or you're going to be the villain to your kids.

I'm really sorry, OP. I assume this is part of a pattern from the in-laws.

Anonymous wrote:Dog stays at their house. Don't back down.

+1

Your DH needs to grow a pair and tell his parents no.

As someone who just paid $8,000 in vet bills, I’d be mad.

Anonymous wrote:My 12 and 14-yr old have been begging for a dog for years but we really don't have the time or the inclination for a dog. DH travels for work often and both kids play sports with plenty of weekend travel. For years, my in-laws have been laying it on thick that "every child deserves a dog!" and how wonderful it is and going on about my DH's dogs growing up. Never mind the fact that my MIL is the one who cared for the pets.

I AM SO MAD. They came over an hour ago and said they had a surprise for 12-year-old's upcoming birthday.
Guess what it was.

A PUPPY.

I...do not...know what to say. They are still here about to have dinner and I ran upstairs to post on DCUM just for catharsis since I may lose it (or guzzle five cocktails). My DH is now super edgy b/c he knows I'm mad, my FIL is just hee-hawing in the corner and my kids are over the moon. I....am...speech-less...

Get a job and travel like your husband. Stop living off of his salary.

Come on.

Anonymous wrote:Send the dog home with the in laws. It’s their dog not yours.

I
Love
Dogs

But I would never get one as a gift for someone who is not ready for the HUGE life commitment that a dog entails.

This can be your teen’s dog at your in laws house.

I always wanted a puppy as a kid, and I think that my extended family would have pulled something similar, but my dad made it very, VERY clear that any puppy would go home with the giver. Everyone knew that he meant it, so no one ever got me a puppy.

As a kid, I was bummed, but as adult, I realize that dad was Right - a dog just wasn’t going to work with the household’s schedule.

It’s really awful that it came to this, but I’d recommend taking your spouse aside for an emergency convo and telling your in-laws that they will be taking the puppy home tonight. Otherwise, you could have that dog long after your youngest graduates from college!!!

Dog stays at their house. Don't back down.

My grandparents did this twice when I was young. The first time, I was 4 or 5 and was with my grandfather and we saw some “free kitten.” I asked I could get one. My grandfather said “sure.” That kitten never even made it to my house- my mother made it clear it was my grandfather’s and they ended up having that cat for 20+ years.

A couple years later, something similar happened with a puppy. I was over the moon excited. My mom was very mad. After my grandparents left, my parents sat me down and told me it was my dog and 100% my responsibility. That trip to Disney we had planned, we were going to have to cancel bc I had to stay home to take care of my dog. They made it very clear that if I didn’t 100% take care of the dog, he was gone. After about two days, I relented and agreed the dog was too much for me to take care of. He went back to my grandparents and they found a home for him.

In both cases, I was disappointed but I don’t have lifetime trauma or any issue as a result of my mom putting her foot down and not letting me keep the pet she never agreed to. Your kids will get over it and one day realize how inappropriate this gift was.

If my inlaws did this, I’d drive the puppy back to their house immediately and leave him.

Wow. I'm sorry.

Pull DH aside, get on the same page, and tell the grandparents in no uncertain terms this isn't happening.

Rule #1 of pet ownership is that all family members need to be on the same page before bringing a pet home. In laws crossed a major boundary.