Wealthy in-laws: At least once a week, unless they're traveling or at their vacation home in Florida. 50 times a year is a safe estimate.

My middle class family: 2 to 5 times a year.

Anonymous wrote:I'm the older folk who has been posting - I really hate when older folks don't recognize how messed-up this is: they ought to trade-down in their housing, and very substantially help their children trade-up.

What? My life isn't over because I have adult children. We have given help with down payments, which is a lot more than we got.

Anonymous wrote:Mine are an hour away, we see them about once a month. It's just a bit too far to get together for dinner or something on a regular basis, any visit is most of a day.

Where do you live? In the DMV, driving 30 minutes to meet a friend for dinner would not raise a single eyebrow. Unless they are infirm, why can't you meet halfway for dinner?

My mother lives 3 blocks away and I see her once every 4 months or at Christmas.

Were not close and I keep her at arms length.

15 min and daily as they provide free childcare and are fantastic grandparents

Anonymous wrote:yes a problem with multiple kids, but in general older folks aren't doing enough.

lol

Mine was three mins away
We moved

Anonymous wrote:What's with "the Please"? no need to be obnoxious

Because that poster is lecturing us.

What's with "the Please"? no need to be obnoxious

Anonymous wrote:I'm the older folk who has been posting - I really hate when older folks don't recognize how messed-up this is: they ought to trade-down in their housing, and very substantially help their children trade-up.

OP here. My parents gave us what they could to help us buy a home. We are happy where we live and prefer the schools here.

They have been in their house for 30 years. They could not afford to buy in their neighborhood now. I would rather they prioritize their own needs in retirement.

Our home would not be ideal for them due to the stairs.

yes a problem with multiple kids, but in general older folks aren't doing enough.

would the 20 minutes away in location, even matter? not sure

Anonymous wrote:I'm the older folk who has been posting - I really hate when older folks don't recognize how messed-up this is: they ought to trade-down in their housing, and very substantially help their children trade-up.

Please. That may work if you have an only child, but you don’t “trade” your house with one kid if you have other kids. What a ridiculous suggestion.

I'm the older folk who has been posting - I really hate when older folks don't recognize how messed-up this is: they ought to trade-down in their housing, and very substantially help their children trade-up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And OP, when you say you'd like to see them more, is not guilt, feeling bad, right? If they came to you, would that mean you could incorporate them into your day-to-day life more? Do they drive at night? Even if they tell you it's fine, and they do it, do you think they are hesitant to?

No, not guilt. I just miss them during the week. They drive at night but I don't think they like it. Them coming here on weekdays is tough because the traffic is so bad in that direction. For us we could maybe swing dinner on a weekday, it just feels exhausting.

Are you in the DMV? Twenty minutes isn’t very long.